Ok, here is my issue. I have a tendency to let people take advantage of me. I am the first person people go to if they have a problem, or issue, or need something. I do like this because it obviously is a good feeling to know people trust you and can depend on you. On the other hand my friends rarely ask me to hang out with them, they often say and do mean things, and use me. I hate to sound as whiny as I do right now, but this has been an issue since I was in grade school, and I'm now in my mid twenties. Several times different people have said to me something to the effect of not wanting to make plans with me because they want to see if a better option comes along, or they will tell me that they only invited me somewere because they couldn't invite another person for some reason. I swear I I'm not annoying, I'm easy to get a long with, I don't smell bad, I'm not judgemental, some say I'm funny. I just don't know what to do anymore, this is kinda killing me. Any advice?
2006-12-24 20:34:42 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Lots of people like to bully, everything is on their terms. There is a difference between being nice and being a doormat. These "friends" have treated you like a doormat, they walk all over you, because they CAN. Being nice doesn't mean that you just sit and listen to hours about everyone elses complaints and issues, that just means being used. You say that it is a good feeling to know that others trust and depend on you, but do they really feel that way or do they just need someone to "vent" all their problems to? Someone who will stand and patiently listen. Most people don't care and only want to talk about themselves. Don't allow yourself to be used. Don't question your kindness and concern for others. Don't spend a lot of time worrying why a bunch of selfisn, rude, people would treat you this way. Start thinking about yourself and your wants and needs and realizing all your good qualities. You can still be a kind person with wants and needs of your own without being a doormat. People WILL respect you for it. You are better off with these people out of your life. Who needs people like that to bring you down?.
2006-12-24 20:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you remember reading the story of "The Ugly Duckling" as a kid? Well, guess what? Thats you, the ugly duckling. Now, before I get flamed for saying this, do you remember exactly what happened to the ugly duckling at the end of the story? Out of the ugly duckling was grown a beautiful swan, the likes of which had never been seen before. Thats you too. One of these days, somebody will see you for exactly who you are, and then you won't be able to get them to leave you alone! Look forward to that! Until then, keep your eyes open and your ears peeled for prospects, and don't be down on yourself too much. I'm sure you have plenty to offer the right person. It just takes time to find the right person sometimes.
By the way, I'm 29, male, and just beginning this lovely process. I was never too interested in such things when I was younger as I had far too many personal issues to work through. Now that I'm a little older and a little wiser (I hope), I feel like I'm in a much better position to try to find the right person for me. I haven't had any luck yet, but I've only really just begun.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-24 21:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by G A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what having a kind heart is allways a nice thing,and its admirable to allways help out people when possible,like me.but you know what.if these guys down talk you or treat you like trash,these people arent really your friends man,i wouldnt let it bother you.i dont mean to be mean or anything to you,but you if you let other people step over you,thats pretty much all your gonna be.a floor rug for everybody to use,i would say go out and get some new friends,cuaes what your telling me is total bs..i have defriended so many people that i grew up with,becuase i come to realize these guys are only holding me down.cant really tell you anything much more,but to forget them,if thats how **** rolls.
2006-12-24 20:40:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's a too long.
But litsen friend.
If they don't like you how ever why.
they are the biggest looser. More over, i think that you are acute.
so, don't worry, it's not a big deal.
i'm sure that you will find someone who prsiate you us a good and a funny person.
and if they invited you because they didin't find someone to invite.
So don't go.
in this moment, they will stay alone and have a bad party with them selves.
OK ????
2006-12-24 20:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by Be easy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I am in your position right now and i am 17. People will only hang out when it is convenient to. These people aren't real friends, in my opinion.
2006-12-24 20:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by harman/kardon 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a back bone. YOu need to learn when to say no and when to say yes.
You need to work on this issue yourself, no one else can do it for you.
Do some reading on boundries and self esteem.
2006-12-24 20:58:35 · answer #6 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
theyre not real friends...go by gut feelings...is there someone you like at work that you can have lunch with?
2006-12-24 21:11:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are not your real friends they are bullies and you are allowing them to bully you and its your fault grow up learn your lessons .
2006-12-24 22:13:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋