My lad & i hav been 2gether 8yrs, 4 a while now hes been doin things which u shouldnt in a relationship.He crashed my brandnew car my mam got me(weve never had a new car b4) & becoz my mam payed 4 it it was difrent respect 4 car rules.Ive had others wot he damaged(&1s of his own).He takes drowsy substances sumtimes , more than he should, ends up in trouble doin sumthin stupid.I worry about his health,he has got an illness & i wonder if hes had bad news 2 set`him off,Hes only 31 & has had health probs from wen i met him,some hav got better,others hav appeared/got worse,Sum r gone.He moved out at my request,I'd like 2 get back 2gether if he could calm down, talk about wots goin on in his head so he can get help.Do u think seperation will help put things in perspective,make him think bout us or wil it make him worse.I really dont know wot 2 do this time 4 the best.Weve always lived 2gether.I worry i'l make him worse,he'l go on self distruct & we'l lose him 4 good-Any advice.I love him
2006-12-24 19:22:53 · 12 answers · asked by Poppypunto 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There is only so much you can put up with . try getting your local health service to help you . it sounds like he has mental health isuses. good luck and get rid , that mighteven sort him out if you leave as it might give him a shock .
2006-12-25 02:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by bob a builder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes separation can give the relationship perspective, and the chance to step away from the situation. If the realtionship isn't right anyway, the separation will prove that, but at least you know. During the separation you can both think about all the things you have mentioned. If during that time your boyfriend missed you heaps, it will be a good opportunity for him to listen to your worries, instead of him hearing them as everyday nags which get washed away after a while.
Good luck
2006-12-24 23:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a man's point of view...get out now! You may love him but he certainly does not love you and that is evident by the lack of respect he shows for himself and in doing that, he shows lack of respect for you! Love is easy to say, it is a word but it means nothing if it is not meant and is only said to calm the waters.
IF and I emphasise IF, you two want to make a go of it, he must get some help, on his own! before you decide to try again. Moving back in on the promise of getting help won't work, he will just return to his ways and make you his lapdog again.
Take it another step and assume that you get back together and have kids...would you really trust him to drive them anywhere knowing what you know about his habits and accident history! I wouldn't let him loose with a pedal car.
What he decides to do if you do split up is not your concern, you cannot make him what he is not, he will only change if that is what he really wants to do and to prove that to you, he really has to go out into the big wide world and get the help for himself.
Don't feel that you are responsible for his actions because you are not!
2006-12-24 20:50:03 · answer #3 · answered by jamand 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have suffered enough ,He don't appear to respect your love for him. Some people you can't help I know its hard when you love someone deeply but don't you think you need someone to support you sometimes. Its time for you to have a better life. I went through a similar experience with my first wife she was mentally ill and was in and out of a mental hospital she even discharged herself and went off with another patient and then did it again with a different one. I took her back many times and tried to help her but in the end I had to accept it and brought my children up on my own (she has never bothered with them since). It still hurts after many years but at least I don't have to worry about her. Go out and find someone who can be equal in a relationship with you. Good luck
2006-12-24 19:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by rocky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's very lucky to have someone like you.
But to be able to help someone and to do it effectively, you must have limits yourself, or you may just put yourself at risk and .....
No one will have won then!
I am 100% sure you're doing the right things and for the right reasons.
You both need to put things in perspective.
You are very brave, as by the sound of it, anybody else would have run away for good, for their own good.
Good luck.x
2006-12-24 21:39:28 · answer #5 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its inlikely that he will change now, hes got too used to doing his own thing. he has no respect for you or your possessions. He is all grown up and if he hits the self destruct button thats his lookout, not yours. If he went without a fuss then chances are he has seen the end too. Let it go;
2006-12-24 22:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by huggz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he will never change. He is manipulating you. Eventually he will start slapping you about, too. I know the type.
I'd say he has the emotional age of about a 9 year old.
You deserve better. Do yourself and your mother a favour and get rid of this loser.
That's my opinion- YOU asked for it.
2006-12-24 20:16:48 · answer #7 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The leopard does NPOT change the color of its spots. He has way way way too many problems, and he needs pro help. YOu can love and yet, realize that you cannot be with him. Move on to anyone healthier.
2006-12-24 19:28:11 · answer #8 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm guessing that you are from the north east of england, from your language.
He sounds like a total waste of time. If he loves and respects you, then his actions will show that. His actions don't show that, so draw your own conclusions........
2006-12-25 01:41:09 · answer #9 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hes self destructing anyway, i know it's hard but you need to do it before he does something even more dangerous.
God bless
2006-12-26 04:28:31 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋