Uncomfortable situation...husband of friend / acquaintance is hitting on me. Their married, I'm divorced.

Question

I'm in very uncomfortable situation. I have a friend/acquaintance that I visit at a private local book store. We all know each other in the bookstore and are all nice acquaintence friends and often share hugs with our hellos. One woman there is my same age range (50), she has been married one year (she's known him about 6 years), and lately when I go in to the store her husband will also hug me, but lately more closely, a bit longer embrace. He once followed up the hug with a kiss on my cheek, as he saw my friend (his wife) just do that, he seems to want to talk to me a bit longer, lingers in my company . . . once when I was at the counter talking with his wife on the other side, her husband came around to my side and began moving his hand at back of my neck under my hair just a bit...I motioned with my body language for him to stop, he then began moving his hand down my back. I treasure my woman friend's friendship, don't mess with another's guy...how do I handle this situation ?

Answer 1

Doesn't sound like you are doing anything to provoke this guy. I'd just make sure that if you are around them, make sure that she is around also. If you go off by yourself to look at something and he shows, circle back to her as quickly as possible. Apparently he thinks there is something there.

Answer 2

Be blunt about it. Don't give him a chance. Next time he tries to give you a hug or a kiss, much less anything else, just stop him, move away, grab his hand and put it down. Just anything to give a clear-cut message that you don't want that and won't tolerate his stupidity. No need to tell his wife at this point unless you start getting a nasty reaction from her in defense of her husband, which sometimes could happen.

Answer 3

You must inform him you are uncomfortable with what he is doing. Name each. Explain that you prefer not to be touched. Should he need to discuss something with you to please do it
in a more respectful manner because you feel more uncomfortable and stressed when he acts like he does. Tell him you Thank him kindly for agreeing to keep his distance and hands off you. State, Should it continue you may have to address this matter with his wife. You should have told him the first time he put his hands on you the way you felt, by saying nothing, he thinks it's ok when it is not.

Answer 4

well, one thing i'd start off with is that maybe you should start seeing your other friends in the bookstore in a different setting and possibly stop seeing this one at all, especially if his actions make you feel uncomfortable. another sugestion, talk to him about it. tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable and uneasy. he should be able to understand where you are coming from at least and back off a little bit. maybe also just kind of sneak in a little reminder that he IS married. not like he should need reminding, but sometimes its just easier to put it out there too.

Answer 5

Well, this is a very difficult situation and it will need some stone steps to overcome this situaiton.
Being a divorced woman, he might think that you are attracted to him and he thinks that he can obtain you because of your situation. If you give him attention he might think that you also are interested in him. But one thing is to just try to avoid him and not think of him at all. Gather advice from close friends and family members. You might be suprised how many have had this kind of situation. And also how they have handled it.

Answer 6

i could be curious as to how lots those "seem" like dates, considering the undeniable fact that is a huge ingredient for me. Do they appear like platonic friends, or do they appear like a courting couple. Does the colleague communicate shop together with her or do they flirt? on the action picture, does he positioned his arm round her or on her leg? Is the kiss goodnight a %. on the cheek or a hug, or is it a appropriate kiss goodnight? Do any of those adult men ever think of intercourse ought to be on the menu (regardless of if as you're saying it in no way extremely is)? those are the solutions i could choose for, and of path you won't be able to extremely get them given which you're no longer there to work out the way it is going. yet once you have confidence her, then i think you would be optimistic that no lines would be crossed.

Answer 7

Do not hesitate to tell this man that you are uncomfortable with his touching, when you are alone, with him and advise him that if it doesn't stop immediately, you will talk to his wife about it. He has NO right to lay his hands on you without your approval and never unless his wife is present and fully aware of what he is doing. If she is aware, then I say watch out for both of them. This happened to me too, with what I thought were some friends (a married couple), only to find out that they were swingers. Needless to say, I dumped both of those 'friends.'

Answer 8

What a disgusting shameless man. Talk to him in the presence of your friend. He is being very disrespectful. Do not provoke him or develop friendship with him for he is just weighing his chances of getting into your bed. Jerk

Answer 9

just tell the guy to back off and if he does'nt then you will have to speak with his wife about the way he is acting. A true friend would not hold it against you for someone else's actions.

Answer 10

even if it is very small chance, there it is still a chance he is just a touchy person, so first ask him nicely to stop, and tell him that what he is doing makes you uncomfortable

if he doesn't stop, than by all means tell what is happening to his wife; if she keeps supporting him, than is better not to have them as acquaintances