We werer married for 15 years, and had a few issues, but no "killers" or at least it seemed, then one morning she came in and said she wanted a divorce. I suggested counciling but when she came to the first meeting her first statement was, "This won't be any use." As I reflect she has had a long-time anger mangement issue, and after talking to my analyst I have come to the realization that she has been abusing me. I actually do not trust her around our children, either, since she has hit them and belittled them in front of me. Any good suggestions?
2006-12-24 17:11:05 · 20 answers · asked by PartyTime 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a good lawyer, proof of abuse(especially of kids) and let the judge sort it out.
2006-12-24 17:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by grrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Um, I'm not entirely convinced that you are not at the root of her problem. You sound like a smooth-talker to me, and you've easily gotten this crowd whipped into a frenzy to fry your wife. We haven't heard her side of the story, and until then, I wouldn't come here looking for a public lynching of your wife to satisfy your need to feel rightous.
I would bet the farm that the fact that you didn't see any "killers" in the relationship means you probably weren't hearing her complaints, or much of anything she said.
Looketh theyself in the mirror for answers, Prince Charming.
2006-12-24 17:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm filing for divorce. I thought I wanted to get even, but I'm not. I just want it over. I am PAST ready to move on. As long as you try to get even, it will take longer for you to move on. It'll also make you no better than her. That is what your kids will see. Do you want the kids to see that they have two parents that are crazy or one parent that is stable, that will worry more about them, than playing games. I learned that getting even will ultimately come back to bite you in your butt. When they are older and can realize what has gone on, they will lose ALOT of respect for you. They will gain so much respect if they see you going through a clean divorce. Let her be the one fighting dirty. They will one day see their mom for what she is. You just worry about the kids and what is best for them.
2006-12-24 17:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
okay, tell her you want to go to the movies. make sure to go to a movie theatre that is very far away from home, then tell her to go get the tickets while you find a place to park the car. Leave her *** there. drive to the court house and get a restraining order and keep your children with you. If she tries to get the children, she is in violation of the retraining order. She will fight for custody, then you tell of her malicious treatment to the court. You should win. If the kids dont like her either then it is even easier simply because they can file restraining orders and you automatically win custody.
Or buy some really expensive toy with the joint bank account and then clear the funds into one of your own bank accounts.
2006-12-24 17:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by amshamah 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It will be hard for you to prove any abuse if you stayed with her for 15 years and she is the one initiating the divorce. If she is hitting the kids though, you will have to be civil and try to get custody.
2006-12-24 17:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why you do decide directly to offer up without attempting ? Its very sparkling she has no motivating element in her existence. Plus i think she is extremely upset with this marriage as nicely. i'm one hundred% specific, she got here into this dating ( marriage I advise ) with a lot of expectancies & unfulfilled needs. This equipped up huge expectancies interior of her. you're effective person. i'm specific in case you have been conscious you will have tried assembly those expectation or pleasurable her pent up needs additionally. yet issues here are twin: One she wont communicate approximately it or admit it frankly approximately her expectation whether you tried to talk approximately it. 2d You too have specific expectancies ( that's clearly obtrusive out of your question - & I agree your expectancies are honest & ordinary). so whilst your expectancies are no longer getting fulfilled you're loosing the momentum and motivation to do issues for her or deliver exhilaration in the married existence. Its a difficulty . you're mature & extra clever one. Have endurance to handle the difficulty. Divorce would desire to be the final motel if each attempt failed. yet another element - literate or illiterate has no longer something do with the difficulty of marriage. a while those SO called illiterate companion have extra common experience & paintings extra reliable to make the dating effective. As they sense they are not stable sufficient so as that they'd desire to compensate. I agree she would take time to open up as she would be having a great type of complexes . So first element you will desire to do is to construct she self-worth , supply her small small happiness like take her out to devour issues like Bhelpuri , Pani Puri type of stuff, tell her many times you sense happy along with her, purchase stuff that would look inconsequential to you yet must be significant for you. Take her to video clips, gala's type ( she isn't type who would enjoy Gazal stay overall performance or Theatre or Dance Recital or visit to paintings Exhibitions or Cafe espresso Day or Barista) inspire her to do extra beneficial curricular activities , pastimes instructions and so forth. She would learn some means which might supply her inspire and make her sense she knows something. precise now she think of she is ineffective , uneducated and doesnot understand something. ALL THIS MAKES HER go INTO HER SHELL and BEHAVE AS YOU defined ABOVE.
2016-12-15 07:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report her to the authorities for child abuse. That's a good first step. It will show her to be an unsafe mother and will have difficulty getting the kids. No matter what else she gets, if she doesn't have the kids she will be miserable.
2006-12-24 17:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't make the divorce any worse than it has to be, despite the fact you wish to make her regret her choice.
Keep in mind you have children involved, and you have to think about being a good role model to them.
2006-12-24 17:14:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You sound as if you abuse her. Any way if you want to divorce go ahead and do it. It is not a big deal.
2006-12-24 18:56:55 · answer #9 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get full custody of your kids if possible and forget about revenge. The kids need you and the rest doesnt matter.
2006-12-24 17:13:59 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋