My wifes older daughters and I dont get alone. I get alone with my mother inlaw but thats it. When ever there is an event or something my wife and kids are welcome to go but not me. What realy gets me is that most events are held at the daughters fathers house my wifes ex. We dont get alone and I hate that my wife dont stand up to this and let them know that Im her husband and some events will be at our house like it or not! Can some one give me some advice.
2006-12-24 16:50:42 · 8 answers · asked by mrbigdog35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband, who is a step-parent, and he says that you should always think about the children first. Coming into our marraige, he had no children, and has had to deal with my ex and so on. He says if you love your wife, and love your children, step or not, then you will make the sacrifice when necessary.
Now, my opinion is that you should stand up to your wife, tell her that you are not going to play second string to anyone. While to the older daughters, their father will always have a higher place in their lives than you (being honest, not hurtful), your wife shouldn't have ANYONE before you. If you want these family functions at your home, insist on sharing the time, ie: half a day here, half a day at Dad's. Some of the best step-parents in the world, are the ones that are able to love and share the children through the times like this, when you wonder what the heck you've gotten yourself into. I applaud your caring nature, you obviously care very much for your wife and children, despite your wife's apparent disregard for your feelings.
My advice = Talk to your wife, put your foot down, you deserve to be heard.
2006-12-24 17:04:02 · answer #1 · answered by Fed Up 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long have you been married to your wife? Some families, unfortunately, like to keep things the way they were, or, are slow to accept change.
If you don't get along with the ex husband or his daughters why would you want to be included in these activities? Why would you expect them to invite you?
You might have to accept that your wife's children want a life without you. Maybe you can ask your wife to split her time during the holidays to spend more time with you. She will always want to visit with her children and that is to be expected.
Could you meet these people half way and find out how you can better get along with them and make peace?
Sometime family events bring out the worst in people and cause extra stress. Ask your wife if she would be willing to start new family traditions that include you and all the children.
Good Luck!
C-F
2006-12-24 17:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that you CHOSE to marry this woman complete with her family. If you didn't WANT things to turn out they way they have you should have thought a bit longer about marrying her. All you can do is try and talk to your wife and express your feelings at being left out. If she doesn't understand or doesn't see it your way then maybe you married the wrong woman.
2006-12-24 16:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Judging by your explanation, I would guess that it's because she's ashamed of you, that she regrets leaving her husband who seems still perfectly functional as just that. If you can't get along with her or her family, what are you doing with her? there are lots of details that are left out here. But, I would ask my wife "is there something, a way that I am? or a way that people percieve me that embarrases you sometimes?
2006-12-24 16:57:19 · answer #4 · answered by kikumatsu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When she goes to an event where her ex is and youre not invited, tell her your going to go to a strip club (or somewhere she wouldnt approve of). If she objects remind her she isnt very considerate of your feelings and ask her to give you a reason you should consider hers.
2006-12-24 16:54:43 · answer #5 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all your wife should respect you enough to not GO to the Ex's home without you--regardless on the function--you are her family now and she should treat you as such--
2006-12-24 17:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you always trying to get alone with people? Maybe they feel cornered when you're trying to get them one on one and they would rather be in a group. Oh, you mean get ALONG! Maybe it's because you can't spell.
2006-12-24 16:55:55 · answer #7 · answered by chicagosports_guy 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
yes it sounds luike my life one thuing i bele in god give u to him or u will go crasy i did 20yr ago and its stil hard but not as bad with him i would be in jail or nuts with out him i forgive them and go on with my life all u can do neet to talk em me.
2006-12-24 16:58:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋