I am suffering with post tramatic stress which turned into severe health anxiety after a few months struggling with getting better and trying to feel normal.I have been to two doctors that have said that other than depression im ok.I have been trying to be normal and do things everyday that I havent dont in awhile which is a real achivement for me.I had severe flu for three weeks and it was horrible .Im getting better and getting around.Yesterday my wife was called by family members and told of her father possibly being sick.She made all kinds of calls and got him into a hospital and personal doctor.We live a long way from where he lives so we couldnt be there.he is in no danger other than flu,but she worried so I consuled her as best I could.I have been with her 4 years and its been one thing after the other that I have been strong for her and been there for her.Now thatt I need her to be a little help for me ,she says what have you done for me lately .She forgot about the past 4 year
2006-12-24 16:27:26 · 6 answers · asked by LL B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She forgot about all the issues with family that I have been her strenght and was taking out on me her worries about her father.I have done for him, and her family over and over and been their s strength.Now Im wondering why im even with her .She hurt me and now I don't even want to be with her anymore..Why and how could she be so cruel especially when its Christmasa ever and we are in the middle of nowhere and have no one hear but each other..WHy?
2006-12-24 16:30:35 · update #1
I have a son, he is diabetic and was a bike racer. He went to a race in another state, had a bad insulin reaction and ended up in a hospital. There were no convienient airports so we had to drive from Maryland to North Carolina. I was not a bit nice to my husband, who like you was strong when I needed him to be. I regret this in retrospect, but he understood at the time that I was in Hell.
Nothing is worse than not being able to be there when a loved one is ill. The reality is always better than what our imaginations can concieve.
As to PTSD, I have talked to a lot of people with this problem and I routinely recommend Exercise. I know you were ill, but when you feel able, start getting regular exercise, almost physical training. It helps release endorphins which effect mood in a very positive way. Many tell me this helps them.
Be patient with each other. She didn't mean to hurt you, she is worried and imagining all the things she could do If she was with her dad. It is as natural as breathing. Calm down and try to have a friendly Christmas. Support Each Other you are all you have.
2006-12-24 16:58:23 · answer #1 · answered by Norton N 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holidays bring on stress.
Depression magnifies stress.
The flu and illness, make it hard to handle stress.
Stress can cause more stress.
You are a good man and need reassurance. She might be a kind and loving person because she cares for her father. She is trying to split her attention between her father and you. Because her father is older than you....she is giving him more attention than you for the time being.
I don't believe she has forgotten all that you have done for her. She probably appreciates that you tried to console her.
Things will settle down after the holidays if you will just relax and be kind to yourself.
Good Luck!
C-F
2006-12-25 01:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off-im sorry you have suffered from PTS. i have experienced the same,along with panic attacks,and adverse effects on my health. i found it helpful when i stopped being a "victim" of other peoples' emotions,stopped keeping score,and lightened .up on myself and others.we are all selfish at times ,and capable of cruelty to those who least deserve it. no doubt,your wife has not been having a great time these past months,but she is still with you.it seems to me that you are adding to your misery by analizing her actions, lack of actions,who gets the most attention from her,and etc.please consider putting the scorecard down,and maybe thank her for what she has done,and tell her that you realize the past months have been hard on her as well. sometimes when we focus on others ,especially during our roughest times, we can heal quicker. then-the ones we love and need are still by our side-not running for the door. i am not making light of your suffering-ive 'been there'.and ive been around others who have been through hell.they can be tough to be around, and many a sufferer has tried a friend or family's patience.and --they can ,and usually do, strike back occassionally. treat that depression.and please try to be a little more thick-skinned.there are many more things in life that will grate on those feelings.and- as the saying goes 'you cant control what others say or do,only how you react to it" best wishes
2006-12-25 03:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depression is not to be taken lightly...just because two docs say other than that you are ok..that takes a lot of energy out of you and at times things that wouldn't normally bother you are just compounded. What a hard thing.
I don't know..I am caring for an ill husband. I gave up a great salary and I sold my house to help him. He lives at a distance and he wanted to be near his support system. That is hard to hear someone would say that to you..
HURTFUL>>
2006-12-25 00:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes women can be selfish, we're human. Plus we are emotional creatures and very hormonal. that doesn't make it ok though. hopefully this info helps you understand
2006-12-25 00:34:06 · answer #5 · answered by Nicolasa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you have heard of "selfish" hu? This is a problem with us monkeys sometimes. Forgive her, don't forget, and don't be.
2006-12-25 00:31:37 · answer #6 · answered by samaustinashlee_billiewjr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋