I have been feeling that my marriage has been lacking serious issues..I came to realize that the only thing I could do is tell him...I don't feel like he protects me mentally or physically.. He doesnt talk to me, when he does it is generic. When it comes to life decisions he leaves everything up to me. And when I do make a decision it seems as though it is to hard for him to back me up. I used to know these things about him, but I always thought that when times got tough he would change and be a man and stick up for me..But there have been many occations where he has not..I know he loves me, its just that his actions are telling me that he just is not able to love or treat me like the man that I feel I need.. I always thought that when you love some one you don't let any one disrespect them or you. When enough is enough you let it be known. I love him and we have a son together that is why I am still with him, but its been about a year that everyday all I can think about is leaving
2006-12-24 15:46:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay, I've been married for 6 years. I have moments when I can relate to you. I don't feel secure/safe with my husband, that bothers me. You know how some men just make you feel safe?? Well, what I'm trying to tell you is there is always something I think that any man can not fulfill. You have to decide if how much him not doing that one thing means to you. It must feel terrible when he doesn't back you up. Does he not agree with you or is he just disconnected? I think you'll know when the negatives outway the positives....well, that's what I keep thinking anyway. And, we don't have kids. But, overall I keep saying "he's a good person, and he really cares about me." Another bother is he can be sooo silly and aggravating..no matter how much I say stop doing that..he still does. It's like they never grow up or choose not to do what makes you happy. Hope I helped.
2006-12-24 16:09:56 · answer #1 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you buy a Toyota, you can't get mad at it for not being a Cadillac!!!
You said yourself that, when you got involved with your husband, you KNEW that he wouldn't protect you mentally or physically, he wouldn't have the kind of deep emotional conversations you need (the kind of conversations that women crave and men fear and hate to have with their partners), he would only have very superficial conversations with you (the only kind of conversations that men are really comfortable with) and he would expect you to make all the major life decisions and then would not back you up on your decisions.
You knew all of this about your husband long ago.
And yet you magically expected your husband to "be a man" (whatever the hell that even means!) and change!
REALITY CHECK
Like I said above you married a Toyota and expected to magically find a Cadillac in your driveway one day!
And the world doesn't work like that!!!!
This guy is NOT going to change for you!!!
Men NEVER change unless WE WANT TO and it doesn't sound like your man wants to change!!!
Either learn to live with this guy as he is - or file for divorce and start planning an independent life without him - it's just that simple!!!
2006-12-24 16:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
been there!!! I stayed for 17 years. Some people just don't grow up. They lack the ability to be givers. It's called laziness, selfishness and greed. Some people do it by outright choice, and some do it inately. He sounds like the latter. These are the hardest to change because they don't even see the root themselves. Get real, set boundaries and if he doesn't change - leave, and preserve your life and your son's.
2006-12-24 15:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by eleven 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
exciting, this almost sounds like a mix of relationship themes that have been surrounding myself presently. as far as with the arguing, i've got considered that it regularly comes from loss of sturdy communique. whether you sense you're doing all your appropriate to speak, on occasion people want extra of a push to totally clarify their place, and on occasion, they do exactly no longer comprehend the words for a fashion feeling approximately something. The worst element to do in this occasion is to proceed to bicker approximately it. because of the fact it makes the two in touch seem infantile. possibly whilst it happens supply it time and paintings it via little by utilising little extra gently, there may well be something deeper in touch, and regrettably, each and everything won't be able to consistently be fixed in a 2d. as far as what replaced into interior the previous, in case you have never been disloyal to him and you probably did tell him approximately your previous, then theres in all probability something else buried there besides that he could sense quite heavily approximately. you will basically could desire to make sure what all of it quite is and fasten it on an analogous time as quite attempting to understand him... yet besides i've got rambled on adequate right here so I want you success. :)
2016-10-05 23:57:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you've got a big decision to make. the only thing i can come up with is you need to decide if you love him enough to concentrate on the good things and block out the bad. no one is perfect and sometimes we build up our loved ones to a point that no one could live up to.
2006-12-24 15:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this might sound far-out, but how does he feel about the relationship? If he feels also like HIS needs are not being met, maybe he is not really trying. Maybe you should give it one more good go and try really hard to be the cheerful, complimentary wife, and maybe that will motivate him to do things for you.
2006-12-24 16:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i just have to say i agree with many other anwsers on here. just look deep inside yourself are your ready to give up should you just keep trying maybe he will change? im battling the same dilema in my own marrige right now and the toughest thing is the final decsion. are all men that way maybe so since so many women seem to be saying so and maybe they always will be and it is just one more thing us women are supposed to except and just learn to live with who knows? not me
2006-12-25 07:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay for the kid, it is the worst thing you can do. Kids know when the parents aren't happy, and you desire happiness. Maybe you can try counseling, if it doesn't work, and you aren't in love.... you know what to do in your heart
2006-12-24 15:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After all its human mind. You can't do anything. Yes he may change when time comes & when he will relize about you. So be patiances.
2006-12-24 17:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by rockylike007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone who can give you what you need.
2006-12-24 16:17:27 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋