Help...Bad habit of dropping eye contact, it's where my eyes drop.?

Question

Despite gender I drop my gaze, my eyes stop between the lips, throat or the collar bone / chest. This is a problem when it comes to females since I'm female and NOT bi, or anything like that. I noticed I was doing this unconciously when women pull there shirt up, or close there sweaters as if I made them uncomfortable. How embarrassing. I don't want to give this impression. I guess I drop my gaze because I'm shy and can't maintain eye contact, or become bored with the conversation or topic. What can I do? Please help.

Thank you Katherine W., that helps explain what it could be.. However what can I do to correct this? It's becoming a big problem for me, I hate making my friends, and acquaintances uncomfortable, and I'm afraid to be giving off the wrong impression. I also wish not to have to explain myself. I try to concentrate on eye contact, but I always avert my eyes... it's too hard.

To: Marvin the...
When I'm talking to guys I'm fine, since men don't have breasts or cleavage to make them uncomfortable, to cover up. I personally close my sweater or cover my chest when I feel someone looking at me, it's just instinct. What can I do to stop this?

Answer 1

You may also not process things in a visual way. I dated a guy who processed information through hearing, and his eyes always went to the sides when he met someone, because he was listening so hard he stopped focusing. You may process through touch and actually be looking down toward your hands. There are people who study this: it's called NLP, or NeuroLinguistic Programming... look it up.
To overcome it, concentrate on keeping eye contact. You can try to figure out which eye someone is looking out of, usually people look out of just one eye or the other, and you can tell if you focus on it for a few minutes.

Answer 2

I think your problem might be that you are a bit shy and you are afraid to look at the person and make eye contact. I have the same problem because I am a bit shy. I feel uncomfortable making eye contact. When I dont think about the conversation I am okay because I dont think about being shy. Why dont you get one of your friends and have a staring contest and it will make you have more confidence and it will fix your problem. Try the other type of staring contest were you cant break eye contact. This will help.

Answer 3

So when you are meeting someone, do you go "I must not look there -- I must not look there" and because you are so focussed on "not" looking, you "accidentally" look?

LOL
I know this one. Just stop thinking about "looking" or "not looking" there; Instead distract yourself by thinking "ooh! she's got a nice bag" or "I love her shoes" something like that and stare at that and say it to the lady in question. It's a nice way to start a conversation too. ;)

I hope it works. ;)

For the addition: I think that part is ok. I mean you don't really want them to "accidentally" look at your cleavage anyway -- right?
Why would you want to change that behavior? If you do want to change, use the same distraction technique -- shift your weight from one foot to another instead of zipping up your sweater. Or some other activity that is not noticeable to others, but distracts you nonetheless.

Answer 4

Since you know what you're doing wrong, correct it! Practice maintaining eye contact. : ) Don't tell yourself it's too hard. That's negative self-talk. It might take some time, but you can succeed at maintaining eye contact. Practice with a close friend or relative.

Answer 5

in the event that they're pink and dry consistently evaluate restasis-- that has helped me lots. in the event that they're basically pink attempt opti clean soothing eye drops for touch lens wearers. that's appropriate to get rid of your lenses first and enable your eyes moisturize and relax for no less than an hour or so before reinserting your lenses.

Answer 6

this happens to me too! i thought i was the only one. many times, when i talk to people, i have to concentrate on looking them in the eye, otherwise i look to the side of them or the ground or something. then i feel uncomfortable when i all of a sudden look them in the eye and i have to look away. i know it's not a serious problem, but it is annoying!