What kind of evidence will the courts be looking for to prove mental & emotional abuse to a child?

Question

We live in Illinois. We have kept a journal of all the things the ex has done to the daughters. We need to know how to "prove" he is being mentally abusive to the girls. One of the girls is 6 and is just now starting to talk to others (police, lawyers ect.) about what goes on but I really don't think she will talk in a court room if her dad is also there. The other girl is 4 & I know she won't talk to anyone she doesn't know or is in a room full of people. This man has lied in court before and we know he will do it again. We have got to find a way to protect the girls from anymore of his mind games. We would like to have supervised visitation only, at least until the dad gets some help. Is this a realistic solution? If so how do we do it? Thank you for any answers, we are appeciative of your time and help.

I already have full custody! He gave up his rights without a fight. He physically, mentally and emotionally abused me during our marraige. As far as I know he hasn't laid a hand on the girls in anger. Am I trying "to get back at him"? No, I have moved on with my life and am remarried, happily. I am trying to do the best I can to keep my daughters safe and happy. That's all.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, the "evidence" of emotional abuse is the problem as you are finding out and without obvious evidence, you don't have a case in court. Fortunately, you dont have to plead your case in court on your own. You can go through social services and make a report and it becomes the burden of the social worker to substantiate and adjudicate it in court. Your job is to give the SW enough relevant information to do that. You could also hire your own atty but you would be out the expense of it and also be seen as just another "ex" making allegations against their ex. If you go through social services, it becomes a protection issue and you will become elgibile for many resources for your child and family such as referrrals to outside agencies who may support your claims of inappropriate behavior by the ex. This will only strenghten your case if and when it does enter the courtroom anyway especially if you can get them to put their assessment in writing. Get as many ppl involved as possible such as teachers, other family members and make reports to social services daily if you need to. (keep in mind that these reports, altho very significant to you and your child, fall last on a priority list in terms of investigations simply due to more severe reports that are required to be investigated sooner) But, document who you talk to, when you talk to them, what they told you and so on. Keeping good documentation is always critical. Ask them to provide referrals and services such as counseling, this will only require them to become involved in your case.

Although the evidence IS staggering in that emotional abuse can stay with a child all through their adult life and can have the longest lasting consequences, substantiating and adjudicating it is often the most difficult of all abuse and neglect cases. The key is consistency - in your documentation, your calls to social services and to get referrals for outside agencies to get involved so you will have more than just an "ex" making these allegations. You need other professionals saying the child is being affected. (and putting it in writing is even better!)

Good Luck and dont give up!!!

Answer 2

Proving anything in court is tricky. I guess it's more of what you can get the judge to believe. I provided evidence and such, even a hospital record of how the mother ran over our grandchild. She didn't buy. You gotta to give something to give the judge a doubt in her mind. Like they say: Justice is not Justice. With what we had, we had to settle the problem through mediator, and the child stayed in our custody the whole time. It's been 8 months and we are still fighting for him, although he is living with us. It's a tiring situation when you have a battle concerning a child. But at the end, it's worth it.

Answer 3

What if you are the grandparent. My grandson tells me he is not allowed to eat at the dinner table with his half brother and the rest of the family. He has to eat alone in his room. He says he is not allowed to speak or play with his little brother and is not allowed to answer him if he speaks to him. He is not allowed to be on the same level of the house with everyone else and if he is in the back yard he must remain there while the rest of the family plays in the front yard... these are just a few of the things he tells me. He is eight years old and never wants to go home. He is so sad all the time and says no one loves him at his house. It s breaking my heart. As his grandma, what can I do. I m not married anymore and although very active, I am considered disabled by the state due to an accident. I lost my leg, and use a prosthetic...please help, I don t know where to turn.

Answer 4

Expert testimony, witness testimony, is what I would see the Court relying on in a situation like this. There isn't much more that can be shown, there is no physical evidence to produce. The actions of the daughters, their behaviors, and emotional demonstrations that they exhibit, low self esteem, things that would be determined by a child therapist, psychiatrist, (expert testimony) The eldest is 6, in school? Staff may also have bore witness to some of what this child is demonstrating, the school may have a social worker to help you with this also.

Answer 5

This sounds like a woman that hates her ex so much she will say or do anything to hurt him. It also sounds like you tried to get evidence on him but you could not because hating the man is not enough to gain full custody.
If you are at war with that man, don't make your children the POW's for your own vendetta.

Answer 6

Circumstantial evidence.

Answer 7

get a good family lawyer