How do you tell your husband or significant other that he is bad in bed without hurting there feelings?
2006-12-24 14:47:16 · 19 answers · asked by Jem 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've done all the books , toys. lotions, and put his hands here and there and it seems like all he does is complain about how he as a leg cramp. And who ever said I don't do it for him.....oh baby I do it. He just doesn't do it for me.He just does not have passion...bottom line.
2006-12-24 14:56:59 · update #1
Just dump him
2006-12-24 15:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by slick chik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bottom line you can talk to teach tell show and they just dont listen there attention span isnt that long i been married for 3 years and still fight the same battle he tries and he tries hard he just inst good at it lol sometimes he will be doing something that feels so nice and i do my best to make him aware how nice it isnt and bam he gets off track and cant get back lol intercourse lasts a point of like 3 minutes with him even after 3 years yes he is only 25 and yes i was his first but good greif it has been 3 years be bored with me if it would delay the orgasm lol ..at times i wish he would have sex with someone else just to learn a little self control i cant teach him maybe it is wrong i dont no maybe i should be pleased i make him so happy again i dont no lol
2006-12-25 16:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by imnoangel_81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I hate to tell you this but it sounds like your husband may be having an affair. I don't know this for sure but all the things that you say he's doing are signs that he's getting what he wants elsewhere. I've seen it in too many people that I know personally. Anytime a man or woman stops showing any desire in their relationship its usually due to the fact that they're seeing someone else. So probably telling him that he's bad in bed really wouldn't hurt his feelings it would just help him knowing that he doesn't have to perform at home. Most men are looking for excuses to stop having sex or foreplay with their wives so that would definitely be his way out. On the other hand if its not that he has someone else, you should just simply tell him in a nice way that he is not pleasing you in the way that you desire and ask him if he could just try a little harder to please you. Sometimes a woman have to tell a man what she wants if he does not know how to give her what she wants. Please forgive me for my suggestion in the beginning but I've witnessed this kind of behaviour personally. Hope this advice helps you.
2006-12-25 00:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay this may sound weird but it is best to avoid telling him that. What you can do however is suggest different ways of pleasuring each other. There are a number of publications, Joy of Sex for instance, that can help you out. You can also check out the Karma Sutra. Bring some variety to your lives that may be a better alternative.
2006-12-24 22:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by danielm_59 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get gut level honest in a letter. In the letter tell him what does and does not work for you. Tell him to digest what you said. Suggest he talk to friends if need be, pray, or whatever he does to 'connect'. Set a date for you to come together sexually and see what happens. By doing this, you're expressing yourself honestly, and giving him the chance to do the same. If he doesn't respond, or finds excuses, that means that he doesn't have the ability to connect deeply enough to connect to your feelings. Unfortunately there are people who just don't have the receptors to connect to the level of deep emotion.
2006-12-24 23:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by eleven 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To start with, you don't phrase it like that. Start by communicating more in the bedroom; tell him what feels good and what doesn't as you go along. Sexual technique is something you learn. Play teacher and you'll get just what you want.
2006-12-24 22:51:44 · answer #6 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't . Try... suggesting trying something that was on the View or Dr Phil. Feed him the information and teach him what you want. But if you use 'bad' around us guys it completely cooks our brain. Its like anybody being told that they are bad at anything. It makes you self conscious and you start analysing...and before you know it, its gotten ever worse
2006-12-24 23:10:45 · answer #7 · answered by vaughndhume 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's mentally not into it, doesn't get excited about it, well... no matter what you do, he's going to be bad in bed, because he doesn't care. Either he's lost his libido or doesn't want to sleep with you (is he sleeping with someone else? do you forget to shower?).
Good luck. I'd buy a toy with batteries if I were you.
2006-12-24 23:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by Athenart 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u can teach him How u like to be loved, tell him what u want from him, never tell someone they are bad in bed, why hurt someone unnecessarily, when there are many ways to get what u want.there is no way to tell them that without hurting their ego. no reason to do it that way, there are so many options.
2006-12-24 22:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't ever tell them that! You instruct them, and encourage them to please you. Positive reinforcement. Men are intelligent and can learn. Take the initiative and tell them what you like. If they balk, claiming they KNOW what they are doing.... say this, "Dear, I love you but I need you to trust me that I really do KNOW what it takes to get me off." If you fake it....STOP! That is positive reinforcement for poor performance.
2006-12-24 23:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of tellin him he is bad in bed why dont you teach him or work with him in bed to make him better tell him what you like an dislike
2006-12-24 22:50:51 · answer #11 · answered by featherman_65018 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋