How can I deal with being single and suicidal b/c of it?

Question

My doc knows I'm really depressed about being single and the only options he gave me are to either deal with it or go to the psych hospital for a re evaluation.
The mental hospital won't do much because my problem won't be solved by talking (tried seeing four different psychologists over a couple of years although I do talk to my friends often) and I already was sent to the hospital a few years ago b/c of a suicide attempt.
Already on the max dosage of anti depressants but they don't help.
Does it matter if I'm 16 and have clinical depression.

Answer 1

How on earth can a 16 year old be depressed from being single?

Don't you have a family?

Sound to me that what you need are not pills... but a good slap around the ears to snap you out of it.

Answer 2

A lot of adolescents go through severe Major Depressive Disorder because of social pressures, which is most likely why your fixation on finding a significant other is important to you. Because the meds don't seem to help, the doctors are either not prescribing the right kind of medication (i.e. you may be lacking serotonin instead of some other neurotransmitter, such as dopamine). So, it's still possible that it's a chemical imbalance, but from what you're saying, it sounds like you put too much emphasis on finding a significant other. In Cognitive Psychology, the idea is to find out what your irrational cognition is (finding a significant other is your only means of finding happiness), and then point out that that is not a requirement to being happy. The idea is to realize that other things in life can make you happy. One of the previous people in this thread suggested religion, which is a viable option, but that might not be for you. Taking up hobbies and distracting yourself is what most people tend to do. This can be sports, crafts, video games, movies, or just busying yourself with friends. Anything that gets your mind off of your desire to find a girl is helpful. This isn't escapism, because you're aware of what you're doing to distract yourself from an unhealthy obsession with love, or for whatever reason you want a significant other. You say you hang out with your friends a lot, so it doesn't seem like that is helping. You should probe why that might be. Do your friends perpetuate your interest in girls? For example, do they ask you why you don't have a girlfriend? Do they try to help you find girls? Do they always have girlfriends or romantic interests with them? If being around them only serves to feed your insecurities about finding a girl, then you should find another outlet and way to spend your time. It is important to realize that you do not need a significant other. You just don't--no one does. Don't get me wrong, everyone wants social acceptance--we're social creatures. This includes love. But you are 16, and, as I said in the beginning, this is typical for many adolescents. You are not alone. Possibly doing group therapy is helpful, too--realize that there are others like you dealing with the same problem. Don't worry, you will find someone. Just by how you worded your question, I can tell you aren't socially awkward or anything like that. If you intend to go to college, you will find someone for you. Rest assured, you will not always be alone. There are several people for every person. You'll be fine. I promise.

Answer 3

You are still 16 and very young. It is not right to take your life for any reason and there is really nothing wrong in being single. I think you are just under peer pressure for being single. But, once you get older and pass this stage, you won't have to deal with peer pressure as much. There is also really nothing wrong in being single especially at your age. You still have lots of time and opportunities ahead of you. There are many people who are still single and a lot older than you and they are not suicidal... One shouldn't feel suicidal over being single because it really isn't such a big deal. Wait a few more years when you get older, then you will get over all these depression and peer pressure and be able to live your own life and be happy. I think people tend to be depressed at your age when they are not sure of themselves and what they want to do and what they want out of their lives. But, once you get older and more matured, you will grow out of all these depression and peer pressure hopefully and be able to live a free and happy life... Really, It's not good to take your own life and foolish. You only have got one life and many possibilities and opportunities ahead of you. Don't just end it, you know....

Answer 4

I often wonder if I'm single because the person who was meant for me killed himself before we could have a chance to meet. What if the right person is waiting for you and you kill yourself first? And what if your eternal punishment is to watch that person being single and unhappy their entire life because you're not there to meet them?
Hang on, really. The right person is there for you, but you have to be in a good mental place in order to meet them. That means getting yourself mentally healthy, which means finding the right meds and taking them, and finding the right counselor and going through talk therapy too. You may not have found the right meds even if you're on the max dose. You may not have the right doc if he just offers you two choices. But hang in, it does get better. It's tough now but worth the effort!

Answer 5

I agree that sometimes meds have to be experimented by a doctor. They really don't know which one will work. Meds are definitely not all the same. Prozac for some. Luvox for others. Sometimes even shock treatments won't work for depression.
Maybe you can realize that you are dependent on having a mate. I hope you can find in yourself to do most of what you want for yourself. I am a male and I came to realize that I was looking for a "Mother" symbol. That is perfectly normal and I need to grow into being a mother for myself. Progress rather than perfection. We are all imprinted, by our gender genes, to look for certain behavioral patterns in a mate. Girls look for strong assertive behavior for a mate. Boys look for soft nurturing behavior for a mate. Those are the things we imprint on. Use all your human potential to take care of yourself and then you can have a balanced inter-dependence relationship with someone: Not because you need them though.

Answer 6

well the question seems to be whether you're going to devalue yourself as a person just because you don't have a significant other. Myself i'm single and happy. And even if you're not happy, that doesn't mean you have to kill yourself obvoiusly. If meds don't help, you'll just have to think that you don't want to feel bad. there is no reason to.

Answer 7

I would like to help you but I don't want to make things worse ,I'm not equipped to deal with that .But would you think it corny if I suggested going to church and finding joy?Church can fill your spirit in a way no medication ever could.hang in there and just try it ,read the new testament,Jesus is Love.

Answer 8

I've been depressed like that before, and mine does come back sometimes. One thing I learned is you can't love anyone until you first love yourself. Love is a verb in the dictionary. That means it's an action that you do. Faith is a noun, that means it's a thing that you receive.
Many people pray to find love and try to project faith and they have it backwards. You need to give love and ask for faith.

Answer 9

well, im 15 and i have clinical depression...so i know what that is like...i write poetry to try and let out some of the negative feelings. or draw, listen to music, dance....theres all sorts of things u can do to help yourself feel better. =)

Answer 10

hang in there man....i'm 18 and i've been single all my life...at least we don't have to buy girls really expensive things...at least that's what i tell myself. Girls don't think straight at this age, they want to date the wrong kind of guys. So hang in there, and you and I will get our girls someday.