After 3 years, and much much thinking, I decided that it was best for me to end my relationship with my now "ex" boyfriend. I was no longer happy in the relationship and actually put off ending it to spare his feelings. I couldn't have made a better decision. Now, I am put on a guilt trip through my ex boyfriend, who says he is absolutly devestated, which kills me because I hate to hurt him. My mother constantly reminds me that she thinks I made a "bad decision." Although my friends supposidly "support" me, I am constantly being asked by them if I feel as though I made the right choice. I feel as though I am happier than ever being single, and I want to keep it that way for now. I hate having to scold my mother, friends, and ex for questioning my decision. Has anyone ever gone through the same thing? How do I "ward" off the negativity that I'm receiving from the people whom I need the most support from? Thanks!
2006-12-24 14:09:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You tell them that the time had come and that you both had grown apart. It was best to break it off than drag on in misery
2006-12-24 14:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-23 04:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been here. This is a tough place to be in, and I hope and pray things work out for you soon.
Here is what worked for me:
Set a boundary. Just say, "I appreciate that you are concerned for me, but I really do feel like I made the right choice. What I really need right now is...(insert whatever comfort or whatever you need right here.)" Just continue this process, and I hope things get better for you soon.
Meanwhile, please take care of yourself. Pamper as much as possible- you will get through this:)
2006-12-24 15:05:46 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing that i wanted to know is that why did u break up with your ex, why u r no longer happy in the relationship? you obviously care for him enough not to hurt his feeling....and why it took you 3 years to decide on him... it seems that your mom and friends see things in him that you don't anymore, you have to remember that sometimes we have to decide on the person, and can't base a relationship solely on feeling, which can be like a rollercoaster at times...
2006-12-24 15:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you lack is the ability to set personal boundaries for yourself with others'. You do not have to explain yoruself to anyone....including Mom. You need to speak up to these people as soon as they start on you and tell them that you are not going to discuss your personal decision on how you choose to run your life............then stop talking and explaining your life away. You should not even be talking to the "ex".....so Stop! It is all up to you, sweetie......stop being a doormat and take control of your own life.
2006-12-24 14:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're just going to have to say, "It was the best decision for me," and leave it at that. Tell them you don't want to discuss it further, then change the subject. Hopefully, they'll get the hint.
2006-12-24 14:12:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your ex boy fried he is asking for a pity relationship and that is not you, as for your family and friends tell them if they can not respect you decisions, then to keep quiet as you do not need their negativity. any more than you ex needs you to feel sorry for him he is an adult treat him as such
2006-12-24 15:21:06 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you knew him better than the rest of them. Your happy with your decision and that is what matters. They will get over it.
Best of luck.
2006-12-24 14:12:11 · answer #8 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this soo happened to me, except the relationship wasn't nearly as long. but I am glad that I ended things. everything happens for the best!
2006-12-24 14:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've never had to do that but thorugh time everyone will stop asking and u kan stop scolding
2006-12-24 14:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋