Going through a divorce - separated from my wife who cheated on then left me this summer.
Tonight she has the girls on Christmas Eve. I'm alone... without them for the first time ever and it's f'ing with me more than I thought it would. Hearing my youngest daughters voice on the phone tonight practically did me in.
How do other Fathers out there cope with this? It hurts like crazy that I can't kiss thier heads and tuck them in and be a family.
Doe it ever get easier or can I look forward to this every year?
2006-12-24 13:40:48 · 10 answers · asked by derek985 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It gets better, spend time with your family, I am a single mom, my ex has our son on christmas eve (although I get him back at 9pm), then our son goes back with dad from 11am-2pm on christmas day (we are both products of divorce and it helps us with visiting family)...
The first year was awful for me, I sat home cried, drank wine, wrapped presents and waited, I had just moved into the apt with our then 2 yr old 10 days before christmas. It sucked.
Last year was better I was in a relationship, this year(single again), I went to my aunts house and we(my close family) had a nice dinner, opened a few gifts and I came home right before my son came back, and we read a story, put out cookies and milk for santa and he went to bed...
It takes time, the best thing to do is not sit home idle, go to family or friends parties, and look forward to the time you will have with the children on christmas, create your own Christmas eve ritual, I wrap his presents in the afternoon before visiting with family or friends.
the pain does ease, it takes time to get used to sharing holidays, our worst one is christmas, we alternate the rest so its easier on our son, dont let the kids hear the sadness, be strong and I can tell you, it does get easier.
2006-12-24 15:07:18 · answer #1 · answered by rottie110 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All laws are outdated....for the most part...'by default...the dad is at fault'....The courts should let the children live with the better parent....not mother or father by virtue of....
As for getting better....yes...it will get much much better...The children will soon realize who the 'better' parent is. Continue to be a good parent....What happened between you and your ex-wife should not interfere with your or her relationship with the children. For the sake of their love, be the parent you always were.. You may not agree, but 'fate' has its way....In the end it will all work out so well, you will be pleasantly surprised....
2006-12-24 13:54:51 · answer #2 · answered by deevoonay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mine left because...... well, i don't really know why because, she just decided one day to start doing drugs and cheating and stuff, then she left, but luckily i got my daughter with me, go figure, we haven't seen her in like 3 years, but i don't know if it gets any better or worse in your situation, i can't even imagine it because mine is with me, although i do feel for you, no one should be without their kids on the holidays, or without their family or stuff like that, maybe you guys can work out a schedule where you can have 25th and her the 24th and then alternate every other year so you both get equall time, thats about the best suggestion i can make, hang in there
2006-12-24 14:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry..im not in that situation at all but i feel sad for anyone wo has to go through this on Christmas..its just not fair at all they are ur daughters too!! i hope u get to see them tommorrow..its not fair at all to be seperated....i wish u a happy holiday and just try to get through the night u'll be seeing them soon and im sure they miss u just as much too..ur a great father i can tell :)
2006-12-24 13:45:25 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ YaHabibeDisney ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not only fathers...I deal with it every other x-mas when my boys go to see their father....its a shame but you will get used to not seeing them for the holidays...it does suck and it does get lonely...I just look forward to the time that we will spend when they get back home to me_
2006-12-24 13:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...so you brought a tear to my eye...I am so sorry that you are missing this night with your girls....try to work out a schedule with your ex so that you have them everyother year for christmas eve or christmas morning....good luck dad...you sound like a loving man.....
2006-12-24 13:44:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife left because I don't make enough money. Unfortunately, I find that it only gets harder. Sorry.
2006-12-24 14:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by neil s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man thats strong.
Its supposed to be, don't ask why too much.
of course, im not a dad.
God bless you.
2006-12-24 13:45:41 · answer #8 · answered by Whamy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a *****.
I'm sorry you're going through this, just hold on. It's ok to cry...
Hopefully you can see them tomorrow.
2006-12-24 13:44:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
im sorry- im away from mine too.. call them alot and let them know you are thinking of them..you are not alone
2006-12-24 13:43:19 · answer #10 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋