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So heres a little history. I'm 19. I lost my virginity when I was 12. Yes. Stupid stupid little girl. Didnt know what I was doing. But I did it. After I lost it, I was very sexually active for a very long time ...up until about 8 months ago.

My last realationship was about 5 years long. Dated this guy from the time i was 13 until i was like 18. We broke up.

After we broke up i got into a relationship with the guy i'm with now. It'll be 2 years in May. We've been having sex for 2 years in Feb. though (Had sex before we actually went out ... im telling you, i was a stupid stupid girl)...

So our sex lives were pretty good. I loved sex. Sex made my headachs go away, put me in a good mood, and well, it felt good!!! I loved it!!....and then all of a sudden one day it changed. about 8 months ago, I just started getting really depressed after having sex. I get so depressed that my stomach begins to hurt. I dont even have any intrest in having sex anymore.

WHy has this happened?

2006-12-24 13:39:18 · 26 answers · asked by ? 4 in Health Women's Health

26 answers

I don't exactly have an answer to your question. But I've definitely been there. Lost my virginity at 16 to a much, much older man, and then had a "wild" couple of years. When I met my husband at 18 I would cry after we had sex every time. I didn't know why and he was really concerned about it. I think I was just feeling regretful for my past mistakes. He and I talked about it and eventually I was able to enjoy it. But every once in awhile I still feel pretty depressed after sex. I hope you can get through this. I just try and remember that although I regret the things I've done I cannot change the past. And everything I've been through has made me the person I am today. Try and focus on the present and think of the future.

2006-12-24 14:00:02 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs_M 4 · 0 0

Maybe you are beginning to mature (mentally) to the point where you realize that no 13 or 14 yr old girl can have a "sexual relationship" but really that you were being sexually abused, even if you were willingly having sex. This new self knowledge would cause anyone to become depressed if they knew inside they were making the same type mistakes in judgment all over again.

I'd suggest you remain celibate until you have a better sense of yourself, what you want in life and then save your sexuality for someone special instead of being used by whomever comes along next. Your depression will disappear and you will feel much better about both yourself and life in general. good luck

2006-12-24 13:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I would say cause you have realized that your were stupid about having sex at such a young age! I guess you are maturing and realized that sex is not everything in life or in any relationship. Maybe the magic of sex is gone for now. You probably feel guilty. Well don't have too much sex and Happy Holidays!

2006-12-24 13:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by Yvette 4 · 2 0

it sounds like you are regressing a bit to that 12 year old who wasn't ready for the responsibility that sex brings. you need to embrace that child and give her back her childhood. if i were you i'd stop having sex for awhile until you really felt like you wanted it again--fully.

maybe it's this guy, maybe your body is telling you to break up with him, maybe you need some time alone to figure out who you are emotionally, spiritually and sexually.

what are you doing with your life? are you in school? do you have any life long dreams or career goals that you are not fulfilling? these could all have an effect on your sex life.

spend some time in quiet thought, invest in a journal or talk to a counselor. sex is a beautiful thing and if it's not working for you right now you need to check in with yourself.

happy holidays and i hope you feel better soon.
s&s

2006-12-24 13:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by Sooozy&Sanobey 4 · 2 0

Is there something in your past that you have mentally blocked that is causing this? Several months ago a friend of mine thought that her child had been sexually molested--it was quite an ordeal, and out of the blue I remembered that it had happened to me 40 years ago. It has not affected my sex life, however, there could be other factors that have affected yours. Are you truly in love with this guy, maybe deep down inside he turns you off completely and you are not admitting it. There also could be other things, something physical maybe. I suggest that the next time you go to the gynecologist you mention it to him/her and see what they suggest.

2006-12-24 13:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by vivib 6 · 1 0

Sex is over rated for sure as it allbegans way before the bedroom and if there is not a balance then the sex is no good and you have no expectations of how and why or what,,,You must like someone out of bed before you can enjoy them in bed, and it is no longer forbidden fruit as there is excitment in sleeping around,

2006-12-24 14:41:48 · answer #6 · answered by Gypsy Gal 6 · 0 0

Sex confuses the best of us. You tend to feel guilty when something is so good. I feel guilty in my mind after sex with my wife, I think it is more than I deserve, it makes you feel like you are stealing something. It is probably just something mental. Some need to learn to control their minds and feelings, people are very sensitive in nature and it shows. I think it is a normal situation just try to understand it deep as possible.

2016-05-23 04:53:46 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Because somehow, some way, you are substituting sex for what it is that you're really wanting in your life! Not that you don't enjoy sex and desire having it, but there's something underlying that you need to get figured out. Maybe it's that you know sex isn't everything and the emotional, love part isn't at where you'd like it to be at? I don't know. I hope that you get it figured out though! Good luck!

2006-12-24 13:42:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jen 5 · 3 0

Is the sex bad? That would depress me. Perhaps you were using sex as a means to fill an emotional gap and it's no longer satisfying the need. Time to talk to someone.

2006-12-24 13:44:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

My guess is that you now think or sub- consciously think sex is the prime motivator for you relationships and this is no longer a suitable perspective for you.
Now a thinking female is questioning the acts of , "...stupid little girl", and is looking for more in life.

2006-12-24 13:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by jack w 6 · 0 0

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