My 15 year old step son lives with us and I had a large amount of Christmas money stolen from my wallet.?

Question

I suspect he took it. I don't have proof and there dad doesn't want to believe they would steal from us. This is not the first time money has disappeared. How do I go about finding out for sure with out outright accusing him and making him hate me more then he does already. He and my other step son were the only ones around that would have had access to my purse.

How am I stupid? By thinking he stole it, is that what you mean? Maybe it was a ghost then or maybe it simply evaporated or Mr. Nobody did it.

Answer 1

Boy, you've got a long road ahead of you. Beings Dad doesn't want to believe that his offspring would do such a thing, you're basically on you're own. The only thing that you can do is not let it happen again, hide you're money, in you're bra , in a book , anywhere the kids can.t get to it. Always be on alert for things to start disappearing in the house.Let it become Dads problam, so that you don't appear to become the evil step-mother. I hate to say this, but I would confront the entire family, and tell them that Thanks to someone, it won't be much of a Christmas, I would even return gifts. Dad needs to learn to take you for you're word and stand beside you, or the kids will continue to manipulate you two against each other. Been there..

Answer 2

You are absolutely right in your thinking. However, as a mother, I can only imagine how I'd feel if I put my drug addicted son out on the street and he winds up dead or something. The guilt on me would be so heavy, I couldn't bear it. Yes, he is 35. Yes, he should've gotten his act together a long time ago. But he hasn't. And that would be what ruled me. To me, it'd be no different if he were sick and I would treat his drug addiction as a sickness. Actually, I'd probably send him to a live in treatment center if I could afford it. However, with this being your step son and you only being with/around him 3yrs, you wouldn't have the same sensibility as your husband would. It would probably be different if you had a hand in raising him but at the time you got married, you were already dealing with a 30something year old f*ck up and I'm sure that can't be easy. Furthermore, if my husband gave me a "its me or him" ultimatum, he would have to go. My reasons are that I don't deal in ultimatums period regardless of what they are and/or what they're for. But, I'm not really unreasonable so when he came to talk to me about his concerns, I'd listen. Even if he didn't listen, I'm wouldn't accept a "either you do this or I'm doing this" type situation. I wouldn't let someone pressure me to do anything for the good or the bad.

Answer 3

Well obviously the money went somewhere! And if u have no proof its really kinda hard to throw it in someones face. When he is sleeping try to look thru some of his things and clothes. If he shows up with ALOT of new things u know he did it. Teens are not good at saving their own money never mind anyone elses. Yes Im sure its hard for their dad to admit his son could have done something like that- it probably hurts him to even think it. Definetely try to find a time u can look thru his things- like when he is taking shower is perfect. BUT without proof you cannt really proove a thing. U may know in your heart it was him but not much can be done. Talk to him- let him know how important this money was and that if he did u really need it back and he can just leave it in your purse and no punishment will follow. he may just be trying to get alot of attention- good or bad- its still attention.

Answer 4

Number one IF you allow your purse to be around where other's have access to it then you are "asking" for something to be removed from it. Number two you don't know WHO took the money, it could have been your husband for all you know (just because he SAYS he didn't take it doesn't mean he didn't) so you have no right to accuse anyone. I suggest you put your purse away where no one else in the family has access to it during the times you're not out.

Answer 5

You have no proof only suspicions, leave it alone.
Make sure that the only persons who would have access to your money are those who you want to "share" it with.
Is this the battle you want to win, because you may win this but lose the war.
Additionally, it is their father's responsibility to take whatever disciplinary steps necessary should he decide to.
If he doesn't want to then your only real option is to make sure you do not get run over.

Answer 6

im 16, my bother is 18 who still lives with us... he smokes pot all the time, and steals money from my mom. if he see's money around, he'll take it. so yeah, i know what you mean. i get in trouble too, since of course he doesnt admit to it. alot of kids do this. you cant really do anything since your husband doesnt agree they would do that, and you have no proof, i guess... just hide ALLLL of your money. my mom believes me that i never do it, so she doesnt hide her money from me too... but put it like, underneith of something on your dresser or something. if he did it once, i am sure he will do it again---- my brother has been stealing from my mom for about 2 years

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Answer 7

Keep all your money in your husband's wallet instead. If the money gets stolen again, at least their father knows who the culprits are. If you don't want your stepson to dislike you further, let your husband handle the situation instead.

Answer 8

Lock your purse and hide it and if anyone goes around looking suspicious then go cofront this issue.Talk to your husband

Answer 9

Threaten to call police and make a police report. Police will come and question them. Maybe that will scare them into telling the truth.

Answer 10

Do a room check when he is not there and from now on keep your purse out of sight and locked up.