I have had a girlfriend for the past two years whom I love very much. She had told me when we first started dating that she had been raped twice...two separate occassions. I had a hard time dealing with this but overlooked it and tried to be supportive. Well a year into our relationship she calls me one night crying and says she was just raped again at a party. Months went on and I was deeply disturbed by this. Why would a girl let herself get raped(put herself in the position)3 different times. She she was puking in a bathroom at a party when a guy came in and molested her. Then she told me that nothing happened, that the guy just tried to feel her up. Now tonight she let it slip out that the guy actually had sex with her. This is an outrage to me. For one I don't think she got tested after the fact. Also why didn't she go to the authorities? We just broke up over this tonight and I'm having a really hard time dealing. I think she just cheated on me and can't deal with telling me.
2006-12-24 12:50:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Look man you should discuss this with her, it doesn't seem likely this would happen three times but it could have. If it has she might have to question why (I am not saying it is her fault in in any way ), maybe she should consider her safety more seriously. You know her best and have an idea of what is true, it could be she is an unfortunate victim. It could be she is drunk and not thinking straight and people have taken advantage. it could be she was drunk and wanted to then felt guilty. the only person who can tell you which is her, but I think you have an idea of which is true. Talk to her, but both of you get blood tests
2006-12-24 12:56:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you are right. i think she cheated as well. but on the off chance she didn't...
when a woman gets raped it is the most violating thing that could happen. she might have down played it to cope with it. she may have know the guy and didn't want to get him in trouble. what type of girl is she, strong confident or kinda weak and prone to wrong decisions? most rapes are never reported. but 3 times is a sign that she has put her self in bad situations 1 way or another. and you are probably better off with out her and i am so sorry that this happened tonight of all nights. do what is best for you because obviously she is not doing what is best for either of you. merry Christmas and i hope next year is a better year for you.
2006-12-24 12:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by a l 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you can't just assume that she's lieing. has she ever lied to you before? have you ever gotten raped it's not something that you just go and tell someone it's something really hard to share with someone and maybe she thought that if she told you that she really did get raped that you'd leave her. I think that it wasn't fare that you broke up with her for this reason. I think you should have tried to work things out and be more supportive. cause you have no idea what's going on in her mind after getting raped 3 times. and sometimes it just happens she didn't know that she was gonna get rape. you can't just stop a guy from doing something guys are way more stronger than girls. you need to get all the facts straight before you start assuming.
2006-12-26 11:15:44 · answer #3 · answered by boricuaangel196 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have seen this behavior too. and usually i think that it is for sympathy.
and i have seen the results of an actual rape.
these are the differances that i have seen.
this is not every case because every person handles severe stress and trauma in a differant way.
sympathy.
they come to you and tell you that they were raped but refuse to alert the cops.
seem to have had it happen multiple times throughout life.
may cry a little but are ready to go party again next week.
************************************************
the reality.
no e-mails no calls, you go over to their house because you are worried, and they will not answer the door. have not been to work in a week or so (probably lost their job by now) have not seen any of their friends.
they are beaten and bruised and usually will have physical as well as emotional scars. they do not want to see or talk to anyone and fear going out into society again.
after i friend of mine was raped i started looking into how victems cope and what the signs of it are. i have had women feed me the lie before also.
2006-12-24 13:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she cheated on you. Maybe not.
It sounds as though you both need to break up anyway. Move on. Get on with your seperate lives.
But no one lets themselves get raped. I don't think you are understanding what 'rape' is. It's not second to murder on the worst crimes list for nothing. It's very serious violation of another person by someone seeking power and control, not sex.
2006-12-24 13:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by Nog 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend may be confused about the word coersion.
She was coersed into a situation that made her vulnerable, and now she doesn't know what to think, so she downplays it.
She needs to face what happened and realize that she is not to blame. Some guys get together only to coach each other on how to compromise women and young girls.
Don't pressure her about it. Just tell her about coersion and then leave her alone. Healing is a step by step process that happens in its own time. Try to encourage the positive in the next week and hope for the best in the future.
Happy New Year!!
2006-12-24 12:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by HawkEye 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
there is 1 reason girls say rape, the sex sucked. remember that
2006-12-24 13:03:27 · answer #7 · answered by steve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because they might be embarrsed about it. thats like u tellin her u got raped by a dude in jail u don't want to tell anyone about that do u. thats the way she feels so support her and help her get through wuts shes goin through iight
2006-12-24 12:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lil Bit 1 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think you're right
2006-12-24 12:53:12 · answer #9 · answered by the Boss 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋