I am currently going through alot this year having to deal with work, my kids and my girlfriend. I go to work from midnight to eight in the morning, and I come home to watch my kids while my girlfriend goes to school. When she comes back she watches them and I go to sleep. But sometimes she complains that I don't give her attention. Whats the problem? I work to pay bills, to get what we need, and yet she complains that she doens't get enought attention. What is the best way to deal with stress and depression? Any suggestions? Should I just end this relation ship? On top of everything she don't like my family, my family has done alot for us for an example: Buying us the transportation we need and giving us money when we need it. And her family, they don't like me because of something that happend a while back but truthfully, it wasn't my fault! I am just so stressed, I do everything around her, I do the laundry, the dishes, keep the home clean, and so on.
2006-12-24 12:28:26 · 9 answers · asked by userdefined 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are just going to have to sit down and talk to her about it. tell her that you are doing the best that you can and things have to be this way until you can get a different work schedule. relationship are all about the give and take. surely she can understand that things have to be like this for a while. if not, maybe it's best if you're not with her.
2006-12-24 12:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depression is a loss of interest in normal activities that you found fun. You want to hibernate in your room and hide under the covers. You cry a lot and most of the time you have no idea why. Stress is not so profound and a little walk in the air can help both things a lot. If you are sad and blue for more than two weeks just call the doc. Don't be afraid of treatment. A lot of people are in the same boat.
2006-12-24 13:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, working that shift does not make things easy at all. You and your girlfriend have to sit down and talk...not argue...but talk about your problems and come up with solutions together. I see the biggest problem being is your schedules. You're gone all night and she's gone all day. It makes it very hard to spend time together. Family issues have a way of ironing themselves out later on. But your big concern should be, if you really lover her and want to spend the rest of your life with her, work together on finding solutions to problems. Once you start working as a team that will eliminate alot of stress in your life. Good luck.
2006-12-24 12:46:50 · answer #3 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression is nothing but a hole as in a hole in the ground.
Stress is when everything is coming at you at once.
The best way to deal with stress is to remove yourself from the situation. The best way to deal with depression is to climb out of that hole you got yourself in.
Never mind your family and her family they really have nothing to do with this, because you're adults. Consider your family and her family as people like the rest in this world.
I have to be very candid with you. You are the one who put yourself in that hole. You can also get yourself out of that hole.
First thing you need to do is tell her that she has to start doing some things around the house too, in that way you can give her the attention she wants and needs.
When you tell her don't spring it on her sudden like, ease into it very tactfully.
It's alright if you share house work with her; things like cleaning up after yourself, the kids and what not, but you doing everything while all she has to do is go to school; no wonder your under a lot of stress, is not right. There's nothing wrong with you helping out, but to do everything is not right.
2006-12-24 13:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stress is from the outside going in, depression is from the inside going out.
Your girl didnt get with you to high-five you at the door. If you want to make things rosy find a way to spend 15 quality time hours per week doing one on one things (that arent in the bedroom). Most guys never learn how to listen until they are in their 40's. Seriously talk to some grandpa-types about it, and you will hear things you dont understand about women. They need, NEED, needneedneedneed, to talk. Its not a want, its a built in heart need. That doesnt mean they flap their lips at you, and you dont hear. It doesnt mean you blow it off. They NEED you to pay attention, interact (just a little), and hear and understand them. Dont (DONT) solve the problem. Listen. If you learn to truly listen, your woman will be amazed, and (AND) will stick with you well.
Good books:
"The five love languages" - Its simple enough that a guy can understand it, and act on it, and it usually costs $5 in a bookstore.
"His needs, her needs" - the tactical nuke, a superior book, but takes time an energy on both parts to go through it. Its about 10 times better than "the five love languages" but the one and a half times increase in difficulty over the five love languages guarantees that few men actually get through it, and fewer couples do. Those that do its totally awesome for.
My suggestion: read the books, find her love languages and know how to recognize her real, felt, unmet needs besides the ones of financial support or domestic support, and then she will start more strongly pursuing you. Then give her the books, and work through them on how to do it as a team, instead of lone-wolfing it.
2006-12-24 12:40:22 · answer #5 · answered by Curly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like your doing your part in the relationship as far as the bills and house work and that stuff go - but i can see where she may feel neglected. it sounds like your schedules dont work well together. maybe you need to sit down and discuss sharing the chores - she can help out while your at work, pick up after yourselves so there wont be so much work to do, etc. that way maybe you could spend some time together. you sound like you guys are in a similar situation that i am in. personally i feel like i have a room mate and not a boyfriend. maybe thats the way she feels too. good luck
2006-12-24 12:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by kd baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make a decision out of frustration..First you need to figure out if you really love her...And if you want to spend the rest of your life with her..If so then I say sit her down and calmly explain to her with out neither one of you yelling how you feel and that you are very stressed and depressed and you need her by your side b/c you love her and want to be with her..But you need help..If she does not open her eyes and try to change then she doesn't love u the same as you love her or she is incapable of doing the things that you need...Then no you should not make your life more complicated for a woman that don't care for you enough...
Now if you don't think you want to be with her for the rest of your life then move on it is the best thing you can do..
2006-12-24 12:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are going to have to sit down and have a serious heart to heart. You are going to have to address these issues and ask her what she can do to lighten the load. You are doing quite a bit, and I find it very disheartening that she is so unappreciative. You may have to end the relationship in order to save your own sanity. One can do bad all by themselves, you don't need the added burden that is going on without appreciation. Good luck and God bless****
2006-12-24 12:54:38 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very simple: stress = before marriage, depression = after marriage.
2006-12-24 13:32:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋