My husband and I separated because he had an affair. We both feel that we have grown apart and really don't like what we have become. We are trying but he still acts suspiously, like his girlfriend is still in the picture. But he comes over almost everyday and spends the night, so I don't think he has time for her.
We have been in this constant battle for 2 years but we are both hanging on. There is not a lot of intimacy between us and it feels like we are just hanging on for the sake of it, not because we want to.
Why can't we just agree on the divorce and move on with our lives?
2006-12-24 12:27:27 · 12 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on or go to marriage counseling.....obviously what you are doing aint workin out for either of you......Its easier to stay in the routine(even when it sucks) than dealing with all the stuff that will have to be dealt with to move on.....You are both stuck in a ditch....one of you needs to crawl out......He is probally afraid you will take his *** to the cleaners if you divorce him......You know the saying..."its cheaper to keep 'er".....That saying is so true!
2006-12-24 14:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When u finally decide that u really want a divorce, contact a lawyer & get the ball rolling. But U have to decide if a divorce is what U really want. If u're waiting for ur husband to decide, u're wasting ur time, he has the best of both worlds right now, he has u & a girlfriend, what could better, for him? Once u contact a lawyer & get things going, u'll be surprised @ how much better u'll feel. It'll be like the world is lifting off ur sholders. I've been where u r, I know what u're feeling, so go ahead, get the lawyer. Do what u think is best for U! Good Luck!
2006-12-24 20:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by louise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will have time for her when he gets tired you you.He is not hanging on to anything.He has you and her to bounce back and forth to.He gets tired of one,he can go to the other.Perfect for him,and he knows it.You and that other woman need to figure out what the hell your doing.You can't move on because you like for him to be there,and she may not mine about him coming over there because it gives her space to do her single thing.You say that there is not a lot of intimacy,but there must be enough there that keeps him coming back.Not to mention a place to stay.
2006-12-24 20:46:46 · answer #3 · answered by Willnotlietoyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find out let me know. I feel the same exact way. I haven't gotten up the nerve to leave but it just feels like we are going through the motions. I am sitting here hating life and wishing that we would just go our separate ways.
2006-12-24 20:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my state you don't have to agree to get a divorce, you can file without his approval.
Are you just hanging on because your comfortable around each other and its just routine? If you don't think your going to stay together, I would leave now.
And remember......
Once a cheat, always a cheat.
2006-12-24 21:59:48 · answer #5 · answered by confused angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old country song that says, "I don't know which takes more courage....the staying or the running away". For you, it takes less courage to stay....so you have stayed. Muster the courage to leave, and do both of you a favor. Good Luck!!
2006-12-24 20:39:11 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BECAUSE THERE IS THAT ONE LITTLE THING THAT IS KEEPING YOU AND HIM TOGETHER. YOU BOTH STILL LOVE EACH OTHER AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE WITH YOU WITH ANYONE ELSE. MAYBE IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT WITH HIM AND SINCE YOU HIM BOTH DECIDED TO SEPERATE THEN YOU CAN GO AHEAD A TALK ABOUT A DIVORCE. JUST ASK HIM ABOUT IT AND SEE WHERE THE CONVERSATION GOES.
2006-12-24 21:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by ken's princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because each of you are thinking the same thing and don't know how to bring it up: the divorce.
If your unhappy voice this to him. Tell him what you think, because chances are you are thinking the same thing.
Good luck!
2006-12-24 21:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! First let me tell you what God's word says:" If your partner is unfaithful that is the only reason a divorce is aloud"......However God believe's in reconcillation too....best thing for u to do is seek God and ask Him what u should do.......seek him and you shall find him....God bless you.
2006-12-24 20:54:49 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds alot like what im going throu. I know what you mean.It is hard as h ell
2006-12-24 21:44:54 · answer #10 · answered by Crissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋