I feel like in the last 10 years of marriage, we have both grown up and we now want different things, we are drifting apart. We both see it, we just dont talk about it. I have been to counseling, he wont go. We dont have sex or even kiss like we use to. I wont kiss him because his oral hygeine is nasty. His body odor really offends me. How do I say this stuff to him? I am starting to just want to be alone..... Some input would help greatly!!
2006-12-24 11:51:11 · 16 answers · asked by lucky_one_happy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be honest and be gentle. He will understand
2006-12-24 11:52:56 · answer #1 · answered by SheSoFly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation and I understand because I am also married too my husband for 10yrs and we have had alot of problems. We do not have sex enough, we don't communicate without having an agrument etc.
I have suggested that we both go to counseling and he said that he does not need to go in put people in our business. He refuses to go and we both need it. We have 4 children together and this is the only thing that is keeping us together. I do not want to hurt my children but at the same time what about my happiness...
I really wish that I can give you good advice but I am in the same exact situation as you.. Good Luck to you both...
2006-12-24 20:11:14 · answer #2 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be blunt ,to the point and be honest. e.g.; listen I feel that we've grown apart and I think we need to go our seperate ways, we need to get apart so both of us can be happy. We were happy once but I am not any more and I don't think we can fix this relationship.I also think you would be better without me also because I don't love you anymore and havn't for a long time. I can see the look in your eyes that you don't love me either. So lets just end this and get on with our lives. ( Hope this helps)
2006-12-24 20:03:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really hard! But there's a communication problem, I know it's rude to say, "Hey honey, you smell like ____ and your breath sucks too."
The best thing to do is, maybee ask his friends to give him a nudge.
Other than this...I'm not sure, this is a very hard one and I am a guy, if my girlfriend told me she was no longer attracted to me, I'd end the relationship and move to the gym and bathe 5 times daly and hang out at the dentist on the weekends.
2006-12-24 19:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say it just like you said it here. Maybe you should ask him first if he is TRYING to keep you away by his lack of hygiene. If he IS then I guess the next step for you is pretty clear. If he's not trying to keep you away then you need to tell him that he needs to get off his lazy butt and take action to keep himself presentable so that he can be desired by you again. It would speak volumes to me if I went to counseling regarding my marriage and my spouse refused to go. It takes two to make a marriage and two to fix it. If he's not willing maybe it's time to let him go.
2006-12-24 19:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah, that would be a problem. i tell my husband when he stinks and will not touch him if he wants to do the nukie. i like the person who said to get some personal hygene products as a huge hint for christmas. communicating to him what you're feeling is the best thing for both of you. good luck with whatever you decide to do.
2006-12-24 21:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Ruth R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be depressed or have some deep issues and he does need help, especially if you or others have told him about his hygiene. Try to see if he will get help again and if not you need to be really honest about your feelings and tell him where you are heading and why. Good luck.
2006-12-24 19:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont like someone,there is always a myriad of things to find fault with...they are too short,fat,stupid,balding,smelly etc.
Bet if the man has money,although he is bedridden and smelly etc you will embrace all those same qualities/traits and not want him any other way.
Its all in your mind,dear.
2006-12-24 20:43:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy him lots of personal hygiene items for Christmas, and see if he gets the hint. If not, tell him straight out, but not in an ugly way. Good Luck!!
2006-12-24 19:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you feel he hasn't tried since he hasn't went to counseling with you and you want to separate for awhile to see how things are without each other.
2006-12-24 21:11:22 · answer #10 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw him some soap, tell him to clean up, if he dosen't kick him to the curb. How can you do anything with stinkie??? Or is he behaving like this to get rid of you.!!!!!
2006-12-24 22:20:31 · answer #11 · answered by tony g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋