We`ve been married for 20 years. We`re having the usuall problems, but I`m noticing a pattern for the last 3 Christmas` he clinches to anything on Christmas Eve and then doesn`t lighten up till the day after boxing day. I`m desperatley trying to hang on to this marriage. Do yoou think he knows that being shitty with me at this time of year will have the most impact? Or what???????
2006-12-24 10:18:13 · 21 answers · asked by vivi-mac 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The money worries bit. I earn all the money - he stays at home - so that`s not it!
2006-12-24 10:22:47 · update #1
20 years is awfully a long time to give up on, especially if both of you love each other. Christmas time is definitely one of those time of the year where things are just stressful financially & emotionally wise...I'm currently apart from my husband of 3 years & I too noticed a pattern every holidays too...most of it is just stress. We both love each other lots but at this time of the year, thingz can get abit stressed. When you said he feelz better by Boxing Day, it shows that he's glad that the whole Xmas deal is finally done & over with, now he can relax & chill for awhile. With him being shitty with you, he probably didn't mean to take it out on you. You just gotta be strong & hold yer ground. Limit how much you can take it too cuz you're only human. You're going thru an emotional time too, so it's best that you two sit down & communicate what's eating you, communication is the best route especially if you want this relationship to work.
2006-12-24 10:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's feeling guilty about not being able to contribute to the money situation, and we all know money is a key factor at Christmas and a fuel to the fire in relationships with financial issues.
If he continues on this path and doesn't lighten up, I'd suggest sitting down and talking things out, if that doesn't help then marriage counceling. Work out a budget where you'll have money left over. 95% of Americans live beyond their means, and sometimes you want to get the best gifts, especially if you have kids, but it's not always possible, get one nice gift with some smaller fun and needed gifts. Cut back where it's possible and stay on top of your budget as if it was the "financial bible".
If problems still persist and he won't contribute, then I suggest leaving.
2006-12-24 11:21:43 · answer #2 · answered by mirmade13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got to keep the lines of communication open. Let him know how you feel and what it is that he is doing to upset you.
If it all about the money, let him know that Christmas comes only once a year. Try setting a moderate budget and ask him to help you with the shopping. Show him how your saving him money so you can spend it on Christmas. Good Luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-24 10:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, so i'm basically gonna positioned this accessible. Your husband has been a self-in touch jerk the entire time you have properly-known him. the only clarification why you have did no longer notice it so some distance is because you have constantly lived on the factor to your loved ones. Now which you're far off from them, you're realising what your authentic difficulty is: That of a single mom. Sounds to me such as you're able to end this shaggy dog tale this is your marriage and basically be a single mom outright. a minimum of you won't get criticised then.
2016-10-28 07:38:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is ROUGH on marriage. My ex left two days after Christmas 12 years ago, so I know first-hand! It is supposed to be a happy time, but sadly, it's not for a lot of people. Good Luck to you, and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-24 11:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's having an affair, everything you do is wrong no matter what time or day of the year.
Does he think that you're spending too much money on Christmas? And this how he get even with you?
You need a marriage counselor.
2006-12-24 10:27:14 · answer #6 · answered by childofGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for one he knws what strings to pull to make you all upset. ANd he knows when he can get teh more responce from you and he will not stop till you talk to him and ask why he's doing it or just tell him to leave or you leave. And he will keep doing it as long as you react the same way. But what would happen if you didn't react to what he does. Well he just might be doing this becasue he wants you to leave. But if you want to make it work talk to him and try to figure out why he's doing it. Hope he isn't making out with someone else.
2006-12-24 10:26:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it only on Christmas eve? and you remember how he act the same way for the last 3 years wow!!!
2006-12-24 10:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet it is the money thing and the holiday drama. Some men just don't like it and thinks its silly. I agree with the other post, give him some in the morning- only I'd dress up in a Claus hat or something... :)
2006-12-24 10:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by littledreamergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have neen married for 20 yrs, and you earn all the money ?? Think you are gonna chuck him soon ??? How do you feel about a new boyfriend ??? ( not sure what boxing day is, tho...)
2006-12-24 10:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by mobileminiatures 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋