English is my second language. I have a great deal of education in language and linguistics. The problem is when I get to talk orally to people I get very shy and confused that I mispronounce some words and mess words up and struggle to make a sentence especially in long conversations like talking to a hairdresser. I have no difficulties in pronounciation and usually I correct poeple speech inside myself. I don't know how can I get over this shyness and confusion I really wanna talk clearly and in correct tone and stress. Is this something to do with my personality ?? Can I do something about it? Please give me serious ideas. I feel ashame that I lose the courage to talk in English as best as my knowledge in it. My English grammar is very good though, but when I speak I slow don. I hate myself when I speak...... help!
2006-12-24 10:17:48 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
actually it seems that you do excellent in typing. what nationality are you.im pretty sure that if you are of different ethnic background people will already know that you have to learn to speak english. and its pretty sexy when you do because people like to beable to communicate to others easily. from what i can see it doesnt sound like you would be difficult to understand at all. we appreciate the fact that someone would work so hard as you to beable to open up the lines of communication. so its not us you have to worry about judging you its you you have to worry about. you are being ay too hard on yourself. what i do is if i notice that i said something incorrect, id just make sure not to repeat it again. remember your mistakes and work hard to correct them. but dont let it go any further than that. and if you have a question on how to pronounce something im sure someone would be gracious to help. we like to have smooth communication so we want to help. so keep talking. dont be afraid. because the more you talk the more you learn and the better you get at it. keep up the great work and good luck.
2006-12-24 10:29:13 · answer #1 · answered by solas lethe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here are a few advices:
First of all, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you. He is probably too busy thinking of himself and what he will say and do. And if that person childishly pokes fun at you, understand that he has the problem. “He who belittles his neighbor lacks sense.” (Proverbs 11:12,) Those who are worth having as friends will judge not by outward appearances but by the kind of person you are.
Also, try to think positively. No one is perfect; all of us have our strengths and our weaknesses. Remember, there are different ways of looking at things, different likes and dislikes. A difference of opinion does not mean a rejection of you as a person.
Learn also to judge others fairly. One formerly shy young man says: “I discovered two things about myself . . . First, I was too self-centered. I was thinking too much about myself, worrying about what people thought of what I said. Second, I was assigning bad motives to the other persons—not trusting them and thinking they were going to look down on me.”
So learn to be sociable—to say hello and start a conversation. It can be as simple as a comment on the weather. Remember: You have only 50 percent of the responsibility. The other half is up to the other person. If you blunder in speech, don’t feel condemned. If others laugh, learn to laugh with them. Saying “That didn’t come out right” will help you to relax and continue with the conversation.
Dress comfortably, but make sure that your clothes are clean and pressed. Feeling that you are looking your best will minimize apprehension in this regard and enable you to concentrate on the conversation at hand. Stand straight—yet be at ease. Look pleasant and smile. Maintain friendly eye contact and nod or verbally acknowledge what the other person says.
2006-12-24 18:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by Alex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I second what Alex said. She said it very well with great deal of details.
There is, however, one little caveat. It is very difficult to "order" yourself to do something. If it was easy, most of the people who want to quit smoking would have done it already. But they didn't.
I have a similar situation as you do - you tell yourself not to be shy and talk to people, but as soon as the situation call for it you become shy and fearful again.
Try taking the change step by step. Start from small conversations to build up the confidence slowly.
Also, try to acknowledge what your brain is telling you instead of fighting it. Yes, it tells you that you are not good and that everything will fall apart and so on and on. Just take note of it and go ahead with the plan anyway.
There are many books about using this method of distancing yourself from your own negative thoughts. Perhaps you can find them helpful.
2006-12-24 18:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by Ilya1725 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Use your language skills in low stress situations where you know you will not be judged. Practice, practice and practice. Learn to believe that you are a valuable person with something important to say. With confidence you will improve in your skills.
2006-12-24 18:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kenneth H 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Slow down. It is okay to speak slowly and get your thoughts together before you verbalize. Also make it simple, find clear simple ways to express your feelings, you don't have to impress. Find a few people that you are comfortable with and make all the mistakes with them. Remember, it is okay to make mistakes.
2006-12-24 19:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by Grace St. Andrew 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
See if there is a Toastmasters club near you: www.toastmasters.org. They're all over the place, and they help people learn to become comfortable speaking.
2006-12-24 23:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO WORRIES JUST PRACTICE MY FRIEND YOULL BE FINE
2006-12-24 19:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by Scot 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋