How do I move on after my cheating husband divorced me?

Answer 1

You didn't say how long ago you got divorced, but I guess it hasn't been but a few months, and you didn't say how long you were married either, but I am going to assume it was for about 5 years and you knew each other for another 3 before you got married.

You probably have the same group of friends and hanging around with the same ones that he does is going to start old memories to rear it's ugly head and make you sad. I'm not saying to ditch all of your old friends, but keep the ones that are really your friends and be friendly to the ones that were more or less his friends. If you keep the same friends, try and not ask how the ex is doing. That will show that you still care and they may see him and say "I saw Teri and she asked how you were doing". This will tell him that he still can control you and if he ever broke up with the person that he left you for, you would possibly take him back.
Start dating again! Even if it is a friendly date for lunch and a movie or even to a BBQ at least you will be with somebody that may interest you and treat you like a person. Another plus, if you happen to be comming out of the movie and bump into either him or one of his friends, he will see or hear that you have started dating and have pretty much gotten over him.
Have you seen the movie "When Harry met Sally"? I think of that movie when somebody that I know has broken up with somebody else. You just never know who you will hook up with. It may be a friend that you have known for years, or a person that you have known, but never really got to know them.
Good luck either way. I've gone through the cheating divorce also and it wasn't easy for me either. I had a daughter by my ex and knew that after the divorce, I wouldn't see my daughter for years because she was and is a total *****. My hunch was correct and I didn't see my daughter for 14 years because I never had an address or phone number and the state wouldn't give it too me.

Answer 2

I've been cheated on several times. After the last time I had to step back and analyze why this was happening (was it me? or is it the men I choose?). Look at the relationship you had with this man, where did it start going wrong? what kind of person was he? Did he change? Did you change? Was it something you did? You need to follow through and mourn the loss. Statistics say that divorce is as stressful as losing a loved one through death. With every loss comes the mourning process.

While your working through this, keep a journal, go to a coffee shop, a park, a restuarant like 2 or 3 times a week and write in the journal. Join a club that makes you feel good, maybe an aerobics class, a dance class, or maybe join a local discussion group at a Bookstore. There are so many options. Make some new friends, but be cautious who you choose. Redecorate your home, maybe get a small pet. While you are doing all these wonderful things, you'll meet someone who'll cherish you, and you'll be ready for a relationship because you'll be well over the last one. A marriage is not about giving up on someone, it's about working things out, being there through thick and thin, I dont know about you and your husbands marriage but when one gives up, there will be someone else for you.

Good luck and keep smiling :)

Answer 3

I'm sure it is not easy that's why you are askin for advice. The only thing I can tell ya, move on but it is okay to do it slowly. Don't continue to hold on to something that is no longer there. You have a life to live, just move along with it. Who knows there might be someone in this world that thinks you are special and wouldn't dare cheat on you but you wouldn't know that if you don't get back out there and try again. It will be hard especially since you have loved this person for years but I would say take your time to get to know the other person and enjoy. Stop puttin your life on hold. Good luck!!!!

Answer 4

Be careful not to rush into a new relationship too soon. Take some time for yourself so that you can heal. Don't dwell on the past and what might have gone wrong.Do whatever you can to nurture yourself and allow your sisters or female friends to do so also if they so desire. Take a class that interests you. Go on a the best vacation you can afford. If you can't afford any, find things you enjoy doing close to home. If you are into art, visit art houses or museums. If you like sports, go to some games. Join a gym and start exercising. Besides getting into shape and becoming healthier, it releases those feel-good endorphins and you need to feel good. Besides, looking good will help you feel good too. Don't choose this time to go on a diet but do try to eat healthier. You are nurturing yourself, remember? You'll find yourself thinking about your ex and what happened less and less.Pretty soon you will be able to have other relationships without transferring the bitterness of the past to them.

Answer 5

it was hard to move on after he left with this woman, but i divorced him and moved away, and began a new life. but the pain will remain maybe for a long time. but know that this had nothing to do With u or anything u did. we move on when we expect nothing more from this person, not even an apology for him hurting us. in life we have no guarantee when we marry that all will go well, but keep in mind that there is a future out there, and someone else for u, but grieve first, get over the pain first, than pick yourself up, get your confidence back, and begin a new life, and never look back or blame yourself for what he did to u.

Answer 6

Concentrate now on you for a change. Reinvent yourself. Go back to school take some classes that may improve your financial status. Or take them for pleasure. It will get you out and keep your mind focused on something else and you will meet other people. So try doing things for you now. The hurt will evenutally pass, but don't wallow in it. This can be a new beginning for you. Take a trip if you can. Get away and see some new scenery. Celebrate life instead of dreading it. Focus on you now, what makes you feel good. Be positive. You say he cheated on you, well karma will bite him in the butt sooner or later. What goes around comes around. Now this is your time, celebrate you!

Answer 7

Start by joining a divorce recovery group. You can find them by searching the Internet. The best known one is divorce care. There are on line support groups for divorced people through yahoo. Get into private counseling. And no matter what, don't rush into dating or meeting anyone. Most counselors will advise you to wait a year. It takes a long time to regain our self esteem that they destroy by having affairs on us and divorcing us. Learn to like yourself. The hardest thing for me was to learn how to spend time alone. I hated it. I forced myself to go away (out of town) for one night. It was the hardest thing I ever did to go into a restaurant (not fast food) by myself and enjoy a good meal all alone. Same thing with going to the movies. I didn't like at first it but I survived and eventually learned to like myself as a person. The biggest mistake you can make is to jump into another relationship too fast. And please be very cautious when you do decide to date. Make up a list of rules and guidelines you want in a man and stick to them. If you don't, you will find that men are out for sex and nothing more and you will be devastated when you make yourself vulnerable to someone only to never have them call or speak to you again. Be true to yourself. That is #1. You are worth it.

Answer 8

First, sorry to hear about your situation. My wife kicked me to the curb after 20 years of faithful and committed service, so I know what you're going through to some extent. The best thing you can do is to give yourself the right to grieve the loss, and then become your own best friend. Strive to make the rest of your life as fulfilled and happy as possible. You may feel like you'll never find love again, but never say never. Gather yourfriends around you, and take each day as it comes. Your life (and mine) will never be the same again, but that can be a good thing if you want it to be. I'll be praying for you & wishing you the best.

Answer 9

I wanted to know the exact same thing when my ex wife did the same as your husband.I had to learn the hard way and just deal with all the rumors and crap that people would dish out.All the problems and financial mess she left me with was a challenge but by working hard and staying committed to paying my bills I managed to raise my girls alone.The biggest challenge I had was staying busy so I wouldn't sit around and think about the past.I did OK all day but at night memories came back to haunt me.The way I dealt with it was stay busy when possible,talk to friends and don't sit around thinking about stuff.Concentrate on your finances and family.Use this time to heal and find yourself again.You will notice as time goes by that allot of your interest will change and some of the things that you enjoyed together will no longer appeal to you.I made the mistake of dating to soon and it caused me some set backs with trust and honesty.If I had to do it again I would wait at least 2 years before dating again.You will notice that you will build a wall around you to protect your feelings,this is hard to tear down.It will take about 3 years before you will start trusting people again and then it will be tough.During this time trust your head and be careful with your heart because so many guys will try to play you.Your heart will be venerable and easily hurt.Just give it time

Answer 10

well, wait a little while before you just jump out there. your feelings are still fragile and you are still vulnerable, some guys will take advantage of that. this is the time you can work on you and figure out how to maintain somethings in your life. keep your head up, don't stress about the divorce, and pamper yourself!! i would take my *** to a spa and let them help me release all my stress and heartache. think about yourself right now and you can say this in your head (HE MISSING OUT, I GOT IT GOING ON) keep on trucking babygirl, cause god loves you way more than that man.