She's 2 months old, and we have split up because he was physically abusive towards me. He has seen our daughter a few times and turned up on the doorstep yesterday, drunk.
I told him to go away but he wouldn't, he barged in and ran upstairs to her cot and picked her up. I didn't want to grab him off her so I asked him to hand her to me. He refused, and went to take her downstairs but nearly dropped her because he was so drunk.
After that he gave her back to me and left, but has been calling me all day apologising and begging me to let him see her.
What do you think?
2006-12-24 09:55:10 · 27 answers · asked by Anya M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The problem never goes away! You have to let him know that you do not feel safe nor can you subject your child to this behaviour. If he really wants to see his child contact the children aid society. Ask them to set up a meeting where they can supervise his visitation right under a safe condition. You can also have a say in the conditions to be set. They will not allow him to be drunk nor under the influance of drugs in this visits. If he become abusive they will press charges against him and help you in your case against him.
It's horrable to do this to someone you love, but that is sometimes the only recouse you have to help them.
2006-12-24 10:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an EPO to keep that b@$+@rd away from the baby. Then the next time he shows up at your doorstep, call the cops.
And don't let anybody tell you that his abusive behavior is your fault. Shame on those who do.
Edit: Your spelling suggests you're British. If so, I'm afraid I don't know the system in Great Britain and what I say might not apply. An EPO is an Emergency Protective Order, signed by a judge, that says your ex cannot have contact with you or your baby or come to your home. Also called a No Contact Order. See a lawyer for immediate advice. Your baby's life depends on it, and so does yours.
2006-12-24 10:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by cruztacean1964 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a dangerous position. Drunk or not your ex seriously has over stepped the line and if you let him ride this easily then next time he won't be so regretful.
I suggest you get legal advice on this not just for yourself but more importantly for your baby's welfare.
He is abusive and seriously he needs to know where he stands with his behaviour. I am not saying don't let him ever see his child again but there need to be some legal protection for both of you. He needs to know that he visits is being regulated by the law, it will discourage him from being so selfish and careless.
2006-12-24 09:59:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly not he needs help. By the looks of it he is not just going to sweep this incident under the rug. If I wher you I would make a police report because he is a threat to you and your baby. Untill he gets help he should not be alowed anywhere near the child because if he really wants to see her he'll do whatever it takes. Even if it meens going to alcohol rehab or therapy. If he isn't willing to do so then he doesn't deserve to be in your babys life. I know this will be difficult for you to do but for the sake of your baby you need to have this arranged. I hope this helps Sincerely Meg
2006-12-24 10:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest with you, I would never let him have another chance, drunk or not drunk. Because if you do, it will let him think it was alright for what he had done. And that if it ever occurs again, then maybe something worse might happen. If the best turns to worst, get a restraing order on him, you have to do it for you and your daughters protection
2006-12-24 09:59:59 · answer #5 · answered by tuffchevy86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's the kind of person that will come back drunk and angry to your door because you won't let him see her, letting him see her one last time might be for the better (unless he has been abusive to her or if theres a good chance he'll come back drunk), but that should be the last time, and you should explain this to him on the phone either before or after the visit, not when he's there.
There is no shame on you, either. person above ^^ is being stupid.
2006-12-24 10:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has a problem and needs some help. You dont want your daughter watching you get beat up ...she will grow up thinking it is o.k. and he could hurt her too. He almost did . Apology or not. Why were you letting him hold her when he was drunk? You need to think of your daughter right now and what is best for her. Good Luck
2006-12-24 09:59:40 · answer #7 · answered by amandaped25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a lush who needs to go to AA and you should not let him around your baby anymore who's to say he wont drop her next time? Tell him you will not let him see her until he gets some serious help and lays of the alcohol. He is obviously unstable and has no business being around you or the baby.
2006-12-24 09:58:54 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no good reason that you should even let him see her or you unless the court ordered it. Even then I would't allow it if he was drinking. If he threatens you get a restraining order against him..Don't be stupid, ever hear of shaken baby syndrom?? This drunk is a prime candidate for that sort of an event...Let him abuse somebody else....
2006-12-24 10:03:55 · answer #9 · answered by buzzwaltz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lower back, like a the different questions you published, the solutions would be a similar Oh yeah and you cheated, effective (no longer possibly), you do no longer even understand how lots this could harm somebody I honesty think of (and take this besides you like) which you're basically in a courting for the sake of one Oh yeah and you cheated three times. And no you do unlike him, or the different guy or you does no longer of cheated and additionally be asking this question.
2016-11-23 15:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋