My husband and I have been married 2 yrs.He is a truck driver and we seldom see one another.This month was our Anniversary, we didn't spend it together nor last year.I told him I wanted something special this year that came from his heart and showed me he knew & loved me well.He made an effort but it was 30 min. shop at walmart.I don't feel very valued.My question is why would a man,any man put such little thought or effort toward a woman he claims to love more than all other?Especially since we seldom see one another?
2006-12-24 09:47:50 · 18 answers · asked by rozerred 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
30 min of shopping is a good effort for a man.
He must love you alot!
2006-12-24 09:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
This is going to sound cold hearted but its true.Woman seem to want tokens or gifts showing how much there partner loves them.Usually the more the gift cost or the amount of gifts given to her are accepted as putting a value on love.Many times a guy will screw up and to smooth things over he will buy flowers or a small jeweled item for her.It may not fix the problem but it helps ease her mind.The same thing applies to anniversaries and birthdays.Guys think about these special days all the time but they don't think about putting a price tag on their affection.Most guys would much rather go somewhere together for a quiet evening and have a great time,have a nice meal and begin making new memories.Instead of sitting at home and trying to figure out how to pay for all these tokens of love that's busting the bank account.Sorry for the honesty but this is a guys view.
2006-12-24 11:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question and it's a bane for both men & women alike. I think you must come to the realization that the feelings he shows are, to him, what really matters in a relationship. It's lame from many people's perspectives, but you must believe that he cares for you more than anyone else. Does he do small things throughout the year that makes you feel special?
I do have to admit that the 30 minute walmart shopping thing is pretty lame . . . talk with him and tell him that you are disappointed.
Good luck.
2006-12-24 09:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There might be a problem in his marriage, or not. They might have good sex, or not. It's different for everyone- some people just want something on the side, and are never really happy just having sex with one person. Even if she asks him if there is a problem in his marriage, it's a common lie to say there is a problem to get sympathy from someone the married person is trying to sleep with anyway, so there's no way to know for sure. At any rate, he's not saying these things so he can get some good, friendly advice about his marriage. He wants to screw her, plain and simple.
2016-05-23 04:35:46 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we dont know , we need more detail to help u.
but i would assume that hes a workaholic. which is not bad,
the guy is tryin to make a livin and he has to forgo other things to put food on the table.
truckers have a very busy life. u should understand it , if thats the case.
life is hard, and it requires understandin from both of u .
and as long u assured that he loves and make an effort to be with u, but things dont work the way he wants, then u should just accept it,
and rememer this will take a period of time, things will get better.
Good luck
2006-12-24 09:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As superficial as self-serving as this may sound, I think he meant no disrespect and actually did what he thought was required. I'm not saying it's right or you should like it, but you see it in a different way. I think most men are just wired like your husband. When he's in the truck he can't easily go shopping, doesn't have access to a PC and probably passed by a Walmart and thought that would do. Explain to him it's the expression of what the gift means, not the gift itself.
2006-12-24 10:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd put it into perspective: How many other women is he buying 30 min. of Wal-mart shopping for? I think you need to consider why it is he needs to buy you something to prove his love to you. Did you marry him because you expected him to buy things for you?
I might sound insensitive, but men are different. We really do think that when we forsake all others than we are saying we love you. Try being the first to show it and say, "I'm going to show you what I like to see..." and then do for him what you want him to do for you. Women are usually much more mature in regards to gift giving then men are and it usually takes men a little while to catch on...
Patience and communication will be your best weapons in this battle.
2006-12-24 10:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have kids? Go with him some of the time. I spent 30 minutes getting the wifes christmas this year. Some of us just do not shop. We do not pick up on hints very well niether. You and him just need to talk about how to spend more time together. I know a lot of guys that when they spend to much time at home they and the wiives fuss. He may just need to look at local or regional driving. Talk to him about this.
2006-12-24 11:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me it sounds like he ended up thinking "How do I even start doing this?", along the lines of him saying to you "I expect you to take care of the car this year." You might have some ideas - doesn't oil need to be changed? What about snow tires? But basically you don't know much, and you don't know who to ask or where to look things up. Vaguely, you know you ought to find out about it, but as you drive the car every day, time runs out until you decide to get the brakes checked as your only thing that year. Naturally, he thinks you did a half-assed job. Is that fair? Probably not. In this case, you say he doesn't see you every day - that will make it even harder for him to succeed at this task.
Try asking him the same thing this year, but this time, give him some help. Many men have trouble buying gifts for people - give him some idea of how to start. Suggest he talk to your parents and best friends about it, or tell him to look through your bookcase to see patterns - and if he doesn't see any, tell him to take the titles to a bookstore and ask for advice. Little things like this may seem basic to you, but they probably seem advanced to him! He may even take notes!
Good luck!
2006-12-24 09:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one all he is thinking is driving all the time and that isn't good. He should realize what a hot beautiful woman he has at home and try harder when buying her gifts. But some only believe that a woman wants something she should just go out and buy it. Well he has a chance to bring you stuff from all over the USA and all he can think about is Wal-Mart. Hope he didn't give you a gift card. But if you get lonely and frustrated and just need to chat with someone, hey IM me I chat with you anytime.
2006-12-24 09:54:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
my wife acts in the same manner as your husband .this is what you could do.talk to him ,let him know the significance and importance of this day to you .he may not have the same value as you do but he will at least understand.also he like my wife may not know how to express his love in the same manner as you do that 30 minute stop at walmart may have been his best effort . if it was unsatisfactory to you when let him know.you have only been married for two years . you still have a great deal more to learn about each other. keep the lines of communication open. it will get easier
2006-12-24 10:05:30 · answer #11 · answered by zachary b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋