Dumped on Friday 12-22 and depressed...scared!?

Question

As you all have prolly read from my old question I was dumped on
Friday and have had a hard time dealing with the loss. It's even harder because the individual works at the same job but not in the same department. My boss's husband is his best friend and I can't deal with this. I also deal with depression and have contemplated suicide a few times. To really put a thorn in things I'll be along for xmas tomorrow and through new years. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm not looking for sympathy but I am very scared because of my depression and the need to commit suicide grows stronger and more appetizing every second. I wish this never would have happened. I blame myself everyday even though I was not unfaithful or cruel to my partner. I appreciate all of the kind things everyone wrote on my previous question concerning this breakup. What do I do now? How do I cope? I've only been here a year(tx) from the west coast and it's too much to deal with. What should I do?

Thank you so much everybody. It has been difficult and I know suicide isn't the answer. I do feel that living with
BPD (borderline personality disorder) has something to do with it, but Im not a bad person and didn't deserve this at all. He knew about my depression but not in great detail. I think he just got fed up really with it all. If you read up on my disorder it's really a mindsweep to be honest. He wasn't perfect obviously but for a person like me it's hard to really deal and my coping skills are nill. I appreciate the feedback and will try to get my disorder under control and to realize that right now with my disorder, and what just happened, I need to be out of comission for a long long time. Oh and I forgot to add, he wasn't a boy as one called him ..Im 34 and he was 24 years older. We lived together for almost a year. It's going to be hard, I made new friends through him and now what do I have?

Answer 1

Get some girlfriends and hang out. The last thing you should do is sit around and be sad. While in the car jam to loud chic music and sing really really loud! Go to a doctor for the depression part but take control of your action part. I know this sounds silly to some, but draw yourself to God, let him reveal things to you during this time. Read the Book of Psalms in the Bibe, David wrote most of it and was very depressed. You are not alone. I hate the cliche all things happen for a reason but we can learn and grow from such difficult things. This is a new chapter of your life- 2007 is around the corner- take charge and make it the best!

Answer 2

Have you talked to your family. I understand that being far from home and alone can make anyone feel depressed, not even with the heartache of a failed relationship.
Remember that the pain of your current situation will pass (sooner than you might believe) but that suicide is "a permanent solution to a temporary problem".
There is no reason to let the way your ex treated you be something that permanently affects or ends your life while there are so many wonderful things left to experience. I believe that there are people around who would love to talk with you and help you through this tough time, just don't do anything rash.

Answer 3

Well for one you should get ready to go to work and not worry about anything. You should move on without him and find someone else. And you trying to cash it in is not good, you need to get more involved in work and make you forget it. Becasue it will not change unless you want it to. And if you need a friend just IM me anytime and I'll chat with you. But been alone on Christmas and New year's isn't bad. HEy your free go out and see if you can meet some people and maybe they might invite you to some of their parties. But son't let a minor set back hold you down riaise above it and conquer it. Your probably a very beautiful woman and there is sopmeone out there for you. And forget about it been your fault it's not it's his fault becasue he left you and pretty soon he will regret it. SO walk with your head up and smile alot and remember that it one day at a time.

Answer 4

I tried suicide after I found out my wife of 11 years cheated on me and NOTHING anyone had to say made any sense to me except for one thing my dad said.

"You lost your wife - get out there and find a replacement. I don't care if you have to FORCE yourself to go on a date, DO IT."

When all else failed - I started dating and you know what? It was the best advice anyone gave me. In fact I told him this very day how much I appreciated that.

Suicide is boring and self centered - also, if you miraculously do make it through your attempt you'll have a hell of a medical bill to pay off and maybe even some permanent brain or organ damage to deal with.

No one is worth dying over. Be bigger than that scumbag and refuse to be a victim. I did things I always wanted to do with my life - like move into Boston and live it up. You wont believe this right now but there really is life after these types of things happen.

Good luck.

Answer 5

First things first. There is nobody worth ending your life over. I understand your depression, with the breakup and the holidays being here. After the holidays, I would consider getting a new job, although that's easier said than done. If the break up was not your fault, then don't blame yourself. I know it hurts like hell, but you're a better person than that. If you're really lonely and need someone to talk to, I'll be here by myself as well. I'll talk with you. E-mail me through here and I'll give you my personal e-mail address. I sure don't want you to do anything stupid.

Answer 6

i got dumped 2 yrs ago and still not over it. don't want to talk about it too much tonight but for 8 yrs spent holidays with his family and loved it all, but guess we have some things in common tonight, alone. you know i've spent the day cleaning house and washing clothes, dishes, floors, whatever. my kids(not his) are with their dad or away out of state. don't get along with my own family, no desire.
you can be grateful that the sun is shining, the weather is nice or the snow is falling and the clouds look spectacular. tomorrow always comes so be there to see it. believe me, i know totally how you feel about depression, been doin that problem for years. i really love tomorrows, because today's troubles will no longer exist. tomorrow holds a new challenge so work for those tomorrows and remember yesterdays are gone.
also, smile! it really helps.

Answer 7

If this guy dumped you on friday and 2 days after he found himself another girl, it means that he didn't have any feelings for you, and you don't deserve him and he will probably do it with this girl; dump her for another one and so on. The guy is not worth your tears! Get over him, he's a loser! Don't give him the joy to see you sad! Ignore him! You're lucky you got rid of him, you don't need such a guy!

Answer 8

The first thing you need to do this week is to volunteer at a shelter, or wherever you can. Stay out of the house as much as possible, and keep busy. Working with less fortunate people is a good way to keep your prioroites straight too, and let you realize your blessings. Good Luck, and Merry Christmas.

Answer 9

I'm gonna have to be harsh on u. Really.
cz i hate it when someone gives up so easily from the first round.
u r KNOCKED OUT from the first second in the first round of of LIFE survivals championship.
i can tell u not a loser, u never been a loser, but u give up so easily NOT bcz u cant fight back, but bcz u dont wnna fight back .
u have the courage, to cope, u have the courage to move on, ppl get dumped everyday, i got dumped so many times in my life, but i keep goin and goin, but never give up.
u can make changes. its not the end of the world. theres a whole life awaiting u,
get ur self together, make changes in ur life, decide wt u wnna do, quite depression, quite cryin on the past.
think about the future. think about xmas, spend it with ur family if u have one, or with good friends. but dont set there cryin like a child, u can be better than this.
and if u do somethin to ur self, i'll never forgive u.

Answer 10

i hear ya...seriously, get on the suicide hotline. they will not judge you. they may be able to get you on some temporary meds to get you through this. suicide isn't the answer...the ppl you leave behind, will have their hearts ripped out, and always wonder why, and what they could've done to help you. you are hurting too deeply right now to see the light at the end of the tunnel...so reach out and let someone help you. there is no shame in that. please email or im me if you feel i can help you in some way. please hang in there, if only for a minute, or an hour at a time. try to find someone to spend time with you. if you were my friend, i'd be there with you right now.