Our baby is 8 months old, my ex has not met him yet.
Should i let him see our baby.
we are separed because he is violent.(separed before the baby was born)
2006-12-24 09:17:46 · 15 answers · asked by mariana1234 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he wants to be in the childs life let him....but if he is not willing to help you...file papers with your local district attorneys office_
2006-12-24 09:19:36 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on quite a few things. You say he's violent, and that's why you are separated. Was he regularly abusive, or did you and he just get into a fight once? If he is a habitual abuser, then I would under no circumstances allow him to be alone with the baby-no matter what. They both deserve to have a relationship with the other, but not at the cost of endangering an innocent child. Were you legally married? Are you now divorced? Is his name on the child's birth certificate? Has there been an order for child support? These things would determine what his and your legal rights are. Morally, even without one, any man should want to help care for his child, but unfortunately that's not the case alot of times.
My ex was physically abusive to me, but had not been to the children, and was granted visitation rights anyway. I had a restraining order against him, but all that did was make it to where I had to have a 3rd party exchange the children for visits. I know this sounds messed up, but unfortunately if a man is abusive to a woman, that alone does not take away his legal rights to his children. Unless you can prove he would be a danger to the child, a judge will not likely bar him from seeing them. He may however, order supervised visitation, or counseling, anger management, etc. I went through alot of stress and court dates only to have my ex not even care anyway.....It's been 3 years, and now he's running from child support and only calls every few months to try and talk to the kids.
In any case, if he genuinely wants to begin to make an effort to do the right thing now, then that's respectable. But he should be willing to attend counseling, establish a stable lifestyle, and pay child support in order to do that. I would be headed to the courthouse to establish on paper exactly what the terms of theirs and your relationship is, because if you don't it's only going to get messier no matter what he or you decides to do.
2006-12-24 18:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by dragonlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a tough one. Fianally someone with a good question. There are legal ramifications here that can only be answered on your part. What type of custody is there legally? If it is joint custody and he wants to see the baby, you have to let him. However, if you can prove his violent tendencies then these visits may need to be accompanied with someone from the city. If you have sole custody, then it is up to you if he sees the baby. At this stage in the babies life it is not very important to see him. But down the road, the baby may want to know the father. Now about child support. Again, is it court ordered? If it is, there are ways to garnish his wages to get the support. If it is not court ordered, then you are SOL.
2006-12-24 17:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by Rick R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have legal COURT ORDERED custody of your baby?? If not, and you let him near the baby, he can take off with the baby and get court ordered custody and you'd be ordered to pay him child support.
Get court ordered custody before anything else. Protect your baby. Go to a battered women's shelter for assistance. If you are in Kentucky though, do not go to Lexington women shelter because the child protective services is corrupt and takes babies away from their mommies saying the shelters are no place for a baby and the CPS gets big cash incentives to adopt the kids out as soon as they can strip the mother of her parental rights. We've been seeing a lot of such cases where the mother flees a violent home and the Lexington, KY CPS takes the babies. I have never heard of this happening at other women's shelters though.
Do you have a place to live?
Be sure to get court ordered custody. And get a lawyer. Women's shelters often have lawyers helping out if they're big shelters.
Don't let him near the baby and do not communicate with him.
2006-12-27 23:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by WMK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If and when someone files for divorce here, the courts will award you custody due to his background and then support legally starts but too he may get supervised visits if you request. Hes probably not paying support right now because hes not being ordered to do so and isnt man enough to help you out. So just file and move on and get support started. Good luck and Merry Christmas
2006-12-24 17:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to court. However, expect him to ask for visitation rights. If you don't want him to have visitation rights or want to keep the baby from him then don't go to court and live without the support.
Sometimes, the money is not worth the problems that come along with it.
Best of luck.
P.S. Why would you visit someone who is violent and take a baby along with you?
2006-12-24 22:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's violent, then hell no you shouldn't let him near you or the baby.
And lord knows you should take him to court to help you support your child. It's not easy on your own and you will regret it later on when things really get expensive, like they aren't already.
2006-12-24 21:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I pay childsupport and im behind but catching up. I am a female. I talk to my kids lastnight for the first time in 4 years. My ex husband raised cain in front of my boys. They are very angry with there dad for trying to stop us from talking and seeing eachother. Right now your child is to young to understand. But if he is trying to see the child then you should allow it. but also you need to see about getting the support your child deserves. Its not right that he doesnt pay childsupport. Make him pay.you can do this. Childsupport reinforcement. Its a childs right.
2006-12-24 17:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by valerie s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if hes an abuser , then hell no even violent is bad. if u decided 2 let him, id make sure its supervised. i hope u dont plan on going back 2 him. not if hes violent or an abuser. it would b the worst mistake u could ever make. my ex was very violent n very abusive, he'd beat the crap out of me everyday, i had a 4
miscarriges to him,because of his abuse. no child needs 2 b around that.
2006-12-24 17:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by thatsspoiledangel2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is violent then HELL NO! If he wants to see the baby make him come to you until you are sure he will not harm your baby. You can file a claim in court to get child support. GOOD LUCK!
2006-12-24 17:22:21 · answer #10 · answered by mdboomskwad.mc4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋