i'm feeling guilty and really didn't do anything wrong.?

Question

my husband of 18 years always wants to take a nap. he acts like he is 80 sometimes and he is only 40. but he always wants to take a nap before we do anything or even just to make it through the weekend. it drives me insane because i cant get stuff done with him sleeping all the time and i only get about 4 hours a night and no naps and that is if i am lucky. but he had emergancy gall bladder surgery and found out he has a sleep apnea and that is why he is like that. how do i make it up to him i already try not to get up set and tell him i will wait on him when he is ready we will go. but sometimes it puts me so far behind in my chores. what do i do. we are trying to get him set up on a cpap machine but with the holidays we havent had a chance.

Answer 1

you will never be able to make it up to him-it is something that he has had and apparently you just recently found out about-----just continue with what you have always done. NO need to feel guilty about anything.

Answer 2

Try putting your husband ahead of your "schedule" for a change. There probably isn't any one thing that "has" to be done at some exact time like you think it does. Sounds like you have some "control" issues that you need to get over. Have you ever been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder? No one is going to die and the world is not going to come to an end if the rug does not get vacuumed when you think it has to or if a dish sits in the sink over night. Deal with your own control issues and things with your husband will be a lot better. Remember the old saying.........no one on their death bed wishes they had spent more time at the office or cleaning the house. Their regret is putting off the ones they love for the "things" they thought were more important. It is all priorities.

Answer 3

I was an apnea sufferer before having successful corrective surgery. Forget the CPAP, it rarely stays on right. The uvulo-laryngo-pharyngo-plasty (UPPP) surgery is now an outpatient procedure. I had it in 1987 when it was something you had to go in the hospital for. It took only 3 weeks off work, and it cured my sleep apnea, which hasn't recurred in 20 years. I heartily recommend the surgery for sleep apnea victims. Good luck.

Answer 4

Let's focus on you for a moment. Yep...You!

Lord knows you're frustrated. The issue here isn't that you don't like or understand your husband/his condition/nap-habits. The issue here is that his problem has disrupted your routine...Which is enough to frustrate anyone in their right mind (and I'm positive you are). It is especially frustrating when it disrupts your sleep...Which is highly important to most of us, as well as to our moods and how we feel.

Like you, I'm married. I love my hubby and would do anything for him. Together, we've adapted to one another. The fact is though - you're human and will need time to adapt to your circumstances. This is just part of it - the process of adaptation, that is.

Your feelings are understandable and now that you've had the chance to vent them, think about how you will find a balance, a compromise...Some way of adapting to the situation. This may or may not involve confronting your husband.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Apnea is a serious problem. Some people die in their sleep as a result. It can be helped though. See a counselor and have him examined by a good doctor.

Answer 6

Men are like big babies! My husband is the same way- he suffers from sleep apnea and his snoring keeps me awake. He also takes constant naps when I stay up all night and be fine, just tired.

Answer 7

Sleep apnea. Right. You husband is a lazy a s s. Why do you need your husband to tag along anyway. whatever...He just don't want to be dragged around his whole weekend.

Answer 8

if he needs a cpap machine then he has a problem and you need to be understanding....he probably does not sleep that well at nite with he breathing problem_