my husband and i need to separate for a while but i have nothing and no where to go... any ideas?

Question

i have stayed home with the children since we were married, so he has payed for everything. i only have a part time job while i go to school.

is there any way i can get help?

nobody cheated.... i guess they call it ireconsilable differences. but i am hoping that we can reconcile or else i would just file for divorce.


and it is his house.

Answer 1

any marriage can have just toooooo much togetherness. go visit your parents for awhile, or stay with a girlfriend for a week, with the full understanding that it is nothing against him.

Answer 2

Your on your way now and so much better off than alot of women in your position. So start off with a positive attitude. If you already have a part time job then you have work experience. You can look for a better paying job and work full time and go to school part time. Spend your weekends and any extra time you have with your children but make sure you sit down and talk to them first about all this. Tell them that Mommy is leaving Daddy to make a better life for them and herself and that its going to take alot of changes and adjustments but if they all kick in everyone will be happier and better off. Kids love to know that they have helped a parent out. It gives them confidence and skills and pride. If you have older children then maybe they can keep the house clean, do the laundry, make simple meals, etc. Once you do get your degree in college and get a good paying job you will not only have given your children a better life but also a better chance for a future. Now go out there and do it.

Answer 3

You didn't say what the state of your relationship is. If it is still ok, do you think he might be willing to consider moving out? Would he respond to the idea that this will be tough for the kids and it would be nice if they could continue to sleep in their own beds? If he has been supporting you financially all along, are you sure that he plans to stop now?

Have you talked to him about your plans?

**Edit**
Even if it's his house and his money, he may be willing to work through this with you. If you think there is enough there that reconciliation may be possible, why not try handling the separation together? Consider that if you do ultimately divorce, the cheapest easiest way will be to work it out between you without getting lawyers involved. Making this attempt now could lay the ground work for either a reconciliation or at least an amicable divorce.

Answer 4

Well I think that its a good idea for you both to stay apart while you save. Extend it for as long as you can while you both work on your relationship. Here is where you will see how much he values your marriage. If in a couple months he has everything together, money is saved and potential homes in mind then you know that he truely wants to be with you and is making the effort. If he keeps finding reason to not save his pennies and excuses why he hasnt been looking at homes then he is slacking and not making the correct strides to repairing your marriage. Note that I said HE has to do the work. Dont get sucked into doing everything for him because he was the one that did the damage, let him fix it. I totally understand what you are trying to say. Its all about propriety. Whats may be cute and funny and flirty while you are single, can be inappropriate and disrespectful to your partner in a relationship. Emotional attachments and intent are just as hurtful and distructive as having intercourse with someone other than your partner. This is your time to heal and get your thoughts together and work on getting your feeling back in gear, and its his time to start manning up and fixing the damages he brought into your lives. Good luck!

Answer 5

Get you head out of your backside and get with the program. He's the 'bread winner', it sounds like. Who's paying for your schooling? What are you doing with the wages earned from the 'part-time' job?
I realize you are a stay at home mother, for the most part, BUT what do you do for your husband? Other then what has been expected of the 'stay at home' mother/wife.
Who's idea is this, 'I need to seperate for awhile' crap? Get the differences out on the table and resolve them. If you actually go through with a 'seperation', then be prepared for the inability of coming back.
Running is not going to solute a damn thing. Act like the team you took vows to be, remember those vows. NO one every said it would be easy. ANYTHING worth having is worth working for.

Answer 6

Look for religious organizations who offer free room and board and also social organizations--women's shelters--if you need to move out for a while. Then go to Social Services and ask them you to find you work. Ask your employer for more work. Also go to LEGAL AID--they offer free divorce services for women who are not employed full-time. They will advise you better on your course of action. Take care.

Answer 7

I feel for you. Go to a women shelter in your area and ask them for help.

I don't understand men who want out of relationships when there are children involved. They don't think about the children.

Answer 8

Why do you NEED to separate. Did you cheat? If he cheated you would have told us. You're being thrown out of the house, huh? You got caught cheating huh?

Answer 9

Go to ur friends house or something, they might be able to help u out! good luck, happy holidays...

Answer 10

Are you joking. He is not going to help you. The only help you can get is to look at your kids and look at your husband and be a family