How do I get over my fear and enjoy an orgasm?

Question

My partner he really tries his hardest to make me orgasm via oral it ok to start with but then I just can't cope and I have to say Please stop. We have tried several different ways and tips from book and the fact that i can't let go is begining to upset him (Which is the last thing I want to do). I get this sensation like I am going to pee and I shout stop I have told him my feeling even though It feel odd to. How can I get past this?

Answer 1

it sounds like no one has ever explained to you the biology behind what is going on. Consequently, because you were probably taught to 'control' yourself (especially in areas concerning bodily waste and sexual activities) you associate that feeling with the similar (yet entirely different) sensation of orgasm.

It could also be that someone, in trying to explain what an orgasm is like, said something akin to 'well, its like peeing, only it feels better.' Again, although orgasms involved fluid passing through the private areas, it is an entirely different process. That is because, when you are aroused (or turned on, or hot, or whatever it is you call it), your body gives off a chemical that blocks the urinary tract from releasing fluids.

Imagine, if you will, a single railroad line leading to a place where it branches off into two tracks. At that junction is a switch. When trains come down one set of lines, the track switches to allow them to pass, and prevents the other side from using the same track. And when the switch is hit, then its the other set of trains that can come down the line, and not the other side.

It is the same way within you. When you are 'normal', your body's 'track' is open to your bladder, so you can go to the bathroom and pee. When you are excited/aroused/stimulated, etc, your body switches tracks, so that you are not allowed to pee, and instead you are allowed to orgasm. It feels like 'pee' because your orgasmic fluids have switched themselves onto the main track and are now traveling down the same tube that you would normally pee.

You can tell the difference between pee and orgasm fluid any number of different ways. Pee is ....well, you know.....pee..... and the orgasm fluid is thicker and usually white or clear in color. Also, the odor and taste are VASTLY different. After orgasm, you can even have your partner show you some of the fluid, so that you can see for yourself that you haven't 'pee'd' yourself.

However, now that I think about it, the greatest indicator of any sexual problem is the amount of trust you have with your partner. The more trust and security you have with your partner, the more you will be able to let them help you understand, and deal with, what is happening to you. If you truly trust that they care about you and your well-being, then your inhibitions will eventually allow you to relax enough to experience what they want. If there are relationship issues which are not being addressed, however, then perhaps you need to take a closer look at what might really be the problem. And if you are truly lost, a session or two with a psychologist might help explain things better. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Oddly enough, trying too hard is the wrong approach. Try with an old towel under you , have a few drinks and let your boyfriend try again. He needs to spend plenty of time on the rest of your body before approaching your vagina and to be as light as possible once there - teasing, no aggression and no digging deep.
The sensation of peeing could be pee, but it could also be a female ejaculate - plenty of women do this, the oils released by the body as orgasm approaches is to ease the penetration by the penis, but some women produce more than others. With a towelthere, there is nothing to stop you letting go and finding out what it is. If it is urine, then it is probably only a little.If more, best visit the well woman clinic to be sure.
Cheers, Steve.

Answer 4

It's sounds kinda gross but the reason you feel that way is because of the g-spot. It is inside of you and sometimes it makes you feel like you have to pee. It's normal though. I did the same thing until i got on the web and started researching why. It fluid that is inside of you that sorta linked to the same nerves as the bladder. but don't worry just enjoy yourself. But be careful if you orgasm by the g-spot you will release fluid but it's not pee.

Answer 5

You're too nervous and you don't have the confidence with him. You need to be able to let go of all your inhibitions when ur with him on order to have an orgasm. To do this, you should experiment on your own and explore your sexuality alone. Yes, you need to masturbate and probably get a dildo... and just explore yourself and make yourself orgasm.... so that ur comfortable doing it with him.

Answer 6

You're not going to pee. I'll bet you're going to squirt. That's the feeling that usually preceeds, like a pressure and need to bear down. If you've gone to the bathroom before getting in bed, you won't pee on your bf. But really, that's the worst that could happen. So warn him in advance, "I'm going to try to orgasm, but I may pee on you." Granted, if he's so upset you can't orgasm, he won't be very upset if you pee on him. Again, that's not going to happen! That feeling you get, is totally normal, and once you let go, it'll feel great.

Answer 7

Ok... well according to my fiance, the feeling of having to pee is absolutely normal in most females. this is due to the gland being right next to the urethra. I suggest that you not worry about it and relax. See what happens after the sensation, because if you don't get past that point you will never know. Besides, you don't want the sexual frustrations to overcome your daily lives, do you?

Answer 8

Happens to me and my girlfriend too. I think you two have the same problem :(. She still hasn't gotten past it, and it bugs her since she wants to but is afraid of letting it all go. I think she sees it as becoming vulnerable or something, and she always likes to be in control of everything she does, and won't know how to handle it if she does lose control. Can't tell ya what to do since we to are still trying to figure it out. Just letting you know you aren't alone :).

Answer 9

My suggestion...get it on your own first. Whether via toys or your hand. Once you get to that peeing sensation, keep going (trust me, you won't pee!) and poof! Congrats! If you get it on your own first, you'll be able to trust your man when he's in the process because you'll already be aware of these feelings you're getting and feel confident that they really are leading you towards pure enjoyment!

Answer 10

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