My grandma died about 1 month ago...HELP!?

Question

My grandma died about 1 month ago. Her daughter (my aunt) has been taking it very hard. She said she has woken up every night between 4 and 5:30am and she starts crying. BUT, she will talk about her death with family members. I think one of the main symptoms of PTSD is the reluctance to talk about the situation. So I don't think she has that.

But, from a psychological viewpoint, what could be the matter? Is that normal to wake up EVERY night at the SAME time? My grandma died around 5pm in the evening. So it's not like she keeps waking up at the time she died. I wonder if there is a significance to that time?

I am a Psych major, but I am having a problem helping her! Please help me! I would appreciate any input about your own personal experience with a family death, or any advice on if we need to get her some professional help.

THANK YOU!!

Answer 1

After my grandpa died I woke up every night around 2am crying. I think that i was dreaming about it every night and it woke me up becasue i would start crying my dream. i took it really hard and it took 2 months until i got a half way decent sleep. Grieving is differen for everyone. Let her take her time and process the death. She is the only one that can make herself better. good luck to her and sorry for your loss.

Answer 2

You sound like a very rational person. Please don't take offense but you can't help your Aunt. As a Psych major you must know something, but at this moment I don't think it is registering. Counselors help people get out of the "frying pan" by pulling, not pushing. In order to help, a counselor can't be in the "frying pan" with the client. And, that is your current location.

Try to stand back and look at your Aunt as a stranger with a problem. She, just as you, is making a journey. She, just as you, will progress through the stages of grief and no two people are exactly alike. If you can distance yourself, the best you can do is make an educated guess about whether or not she needs professional help. So go ahead and make that evaluation. If appropriate encourage her to seek help but don't even try to help her directly. You have your own demons from this episode and you will be busy enough getting out of the frying pan without trying to boost your Aunt.

I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 3

There is no one correct answer to this question. Many ppl grieve in different ways. Time will heal her. Let her deal with the situation. If she feel like crying, let her. If she feel like talking, listen. My mother left this world July 23rd of this year and I still grieve. My wife lost her mother 24 years ago and she still find herself shedding a tear. I don't believe there is nothing wrong, it is just that different ppl handle this situation differently. As a last resort you can talk to a grief counselor but then you are going to get into an expense. There are a lot of support groups out there that you can communicate with and not incure an expense. All you need to do is to google grief counseling.. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I lost my daughter to cancer 16 years ago and I still grieve.

Maybe since you are a Psych major you are over DIAGNOSING your Aunt.

She needs to know that it is OK to grieve and for how ever long it takes her.
I cried everyday for a full year.
I use to wake up at the exact time of my daughters death.
But not sure why your Aunt is waking up at 4 - 5:30 other than she probably cries herself to sleep at night and just happens to wake up at that time and now has gotten to be routine.

I did attend Compassionate friends. Parents that Have lost Children. It was a great place to express my pain.

Maybe you should look into groups in your Aunts area for grieving Adult Children.

Good luck to you and Give your Aunt a big hug and tell her she is not alone.

Answer 5

It's only been a month. Nowhere near long enough for a person to even start to heal. Let her mourn for a while longer. If the depresion doesn't lift in a few months talk her into anti depressants, sounds like she'll listen to you.
How are you coping with your grandma's death? Make sure you're not transferring your feelings onto her.

Answer 6

It's only been a month since she lost her mother. That's not very long to grieve.

Just because you're studying psych, don't feel you need to diagnose everyone.

Grief is a perfectly normal and rational response to loss. Not a sign of mental illness.

As for the waking up, I don't see what the problem or worry is.

Answer 7

Your aunt has a long road ahead of her dealing with her grief. I lost my mother in February and I have bad days on occasion. I take fluoxetine to deal with my depression. I'd probably be a real mess without it. It also helps to have someone to talk to about loss. Be there for your aunt and she might consider taking an antidepressant if she is still having a hard time coping with her loss.

Answer 8

People grieve in different ways. One month after your grandmother's death, it's normal for your aunt to still be dealing with her grief very actively. If she's talking to others and still functioning somewhat normally, then she's doing okay and just has to weather the storm and get through it. If she starts to withdraw, or shows symptoms of severe depression, then start to worry.

Answer 9

It is not time significant. That is the time your aunt is naturally going to waken. One month is nowhere near enough time to get over grief. Talking about a missed loved one does help heal though.

Answer 10

hm, my uncle died about a year ago, right after christmas (this year is one year) &my family and relatives dont feel like celebrating christmas anymore. we do, but it just doesn't have the same happiness to it.

but heres what i think about your aunt. i think its just the shock that she's gone that makes me wake up everday. i dont know about the same time.. but i know my mom cries every once in a while because she just can't believe it happened. and shock seems to stick for a while. &bad dreams come and go.

i dont think its very bad, &i know it doesn't help much,
but its good just to just support your aunt as much as possible because i dont think you can do anything about stopping shock or how shes feeling



good luck