Nauseatingly hypersensitive, I'm constantly having to watch my body language/tone of voice/level of banter in order to keep the peace. This is my sister I'm dealing with, so I MUST find a way to bring peace to the relationship - I can't just write her off as another toxic person. In the past week, I've heard her say the she is "one of the most intelligent people on the planet," that she's going to "start interviewing" her friends for an upcoming road trip - but she'll settle on going by herself because she really only loves herself . . . . an on and on and on . . . . . WOW!
2006-12-24 06:04:51 · 5 answers · asked by manda 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
"the essential feature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts".
Can you change her? Reality check: No. Even constructive criticism is experienced by her as an affront and is met with anger and a sense of betrayal. Placating only results in more demands, not a return of thoughtfulness and consideration. In fact, if you always excuse or rationalize self-absorption and give in to constant demands, you are actually supporting and reinforcing her narcissistic needs and wants.
Here are some tips on how to cope with the person in your life who possesses the narcissistic style. Sometimes the best way to deal with extreme narcissistic behavior is to end the relationship. But since this solution isn’t possible in your situation, here are some survival techniques.
Set boundaries. Decide which demands you can meet or how much approval you’re willing to give to your sister, and then stick to your decision. Also, terminate a self-centered conversation if you can, or at least set a time limit on how long you’ll listen.
Support yourself. If your resistance to her draws her anger or blame, refuse to be emotionally blackmailed. Remember that your time and feelings are not important in your sister's eyes. This can help remove your guilt.
Use bargaing chips. If you have something she wants, such as a special expertise or solutions to problems—share it sparingly to keep her worst behavior under control. Be aware that when you no longer satisfy her, her old ways will resurface.
Avoid anger. Any confrontation should be conducted quietly and with control. But even a tactful approach may be greeted with anger or sometimes-frightening rage. Very likely, you’ll hear that the difficult situation is your problem and there’s something wrong with you. Arguing will only make you feel like you will want to blow your brains out. Be careful not to expect accommodation from her, but do give yourself points for standing up for your rights.
Finally, know when to leave. Dealing with this personality disorder can undermine your own sense of self. Ask yourself these questions; Do I continually feel depressed, irritable, devalued and worthless? Does my anger and resentment carry over into other relationships? Have I stopped supporting myself in general, not treating myself well or allowing others to coerce me?
Bottom line: If you find yourself answering yes too frequently, you must examine the pay-off or importance of your relationship with this your sister.
Hope this helps.
Sincerely,
MCPO West USN (Ret.)
2006-12-24 06:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Gino 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly, i think of i could resemble you a splash. i like examining to, and that i'm (lots of the time) quiet. i do no longer party all day, yet human beings do no longer think of i'm boring because of the fact i'm slightly psychological disturbed.... ( i like to assert that i'm an alien and unusual stuff like that) This became some variety of area tale so now i visit respond to your question. in case you lost 5 pals because of the fact of being boring, than those women (or boys, i don't be attentive to) at the instant are not somewhat your individuals. i be attentive to it sounds stupid and you in all threat heard it greater yet this is authentic. attempt to locate new pals. you like the library, why do no longer you seek for some human beings in there. there'll constantly be people who could somewhat desire to be your individuals. you basically could seek for for them. And have faith me, lots of the individuals look boring in case you evaluate them to hyperactive and bubbly women. in case you desire to be much less boring you're able to attempt speaking approximately weird and wonderful stuff. I as quickly as noted the reality that each and all the human beings are extraterrestrial beings for the creatures that could stay in the universe. (definite, there are creatures residing in the universe because of the fact i'm certainly one of them) See how uncomplicated it somewhat is to be weird and wonderful? basically say regardless of pops up on your head. yet be carefull, somethings which you're saying could no longer be suitable at some circumstances. basically have relaxing and be who you're, regardless of if which potential your boring :D
2016-10-28 07:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meditation helps...
2006-12-24 06:17:26 · answer #3 · answered by legacybiographers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well do some volunteer work and make her come along with you.
2006-12-25 01:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
She sounds like she is more sarcastic than narssistic :-)
2006-12-24 06:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋