Is it legal for RC Church to insist my son to sign affidvtt hat his kids will be baptzd after he marries a RC?

Question

We are Hindu Brahmins.My son has had to sign an affidavit before he could get married to a Catholic girl agreeing to his children being baptized.We have had no such pre-conditions. W e want the girl to continue with her religion and our son to practice oursTheir church has forced this before allowing the church--ceremony which our daughter-in-law wanted to be held and was.We are very upset and dont know how to deal with this--any help

Answer 1

My husband is Catholic and I was raised Jewish and while I am not practicing Judaism, I do not want to be Catholic or raise my children Catholic - though I am happy for them to learn about my husband and his own particular brand of spirituality. This makes me feel like i am in a similar situation as you describe.

I made it very clear from the very beginning that I would not ever be Catholic and the Church would not marry us. In the end, they seemed to be more motivated to help us and compromise because of my Jewish background more than anything else - they recorded our marriage in their church but would not allow priest to be present at the ceremony.

If this girl is committed to having a Catholic priest at the wedding, there will be a lot of debate, but ultimately he will not likely be there if there is no signed committment to raise children Catholic. We had the same trouble when we did have children - we could not get a priest to bless our child because I would not agree to raise the child in the Catholic Community. The Church even wanted to be sure that all God Parents would be Catholic - they are very controlling.

My husband chose to do what he wanted rather than allow the church to dictate who he marries - and he feels personally that that was the right thing to do. Not all Catholics feel that way. If this girl is determined to have a Cathedral wedding and baptizing her kids, then your son has 3 choices:

He can decide that this girl is not interested in compromise and find another.
He can convert to Catholicism and sign the papers.
He can sign the papers and not embrace Catholicism in his heart and still raise his children to understand his religion privately - away from the church.

Of course, I can tell you that my husband's parents were devastated when there was no priest at our events, and it caused quite an uproar among the whole very, very large family. My husband's parents were very angry and accused him of lying to them and felt that he was not attached to his faith and really disliked me. Truth is my husband was devastated that the church he loved and grew up in had abandoned him at this most important time in his life and the family did likewise.

All you can really do, is trust your son to do the best thing. Trust yourself, that you did a good job raising the boy and that his heart is true and rooted in your own faith. Babies today will need to be very comfortable in a diverse world - and how better to learn that, than at home in a diverse family, where people can lead by example?

The biggest tragedy of our story is that my husband's heart is rooted in Christ - and in a family of over 50 people there are only a distant handful that displayed the kind of Christian behavior that he wants his kids to learn. So his parents, who were so upset that their grandkids wouldn't learn the faith of their father, have sufficiently alienated themselves from our family, that our kids are even less likely to learn their faith - you see what I mean. Whatever way this goes, you must be a strong supporter and the finest examples of your faith to do the most good here. We cling to the parents that stood by us in our time of trouble - and they are the only ones who have a real relationship with our kids. Be those people.

Peace!

Answer 2

Kudos Wayne T. A religious affiliation is a deep seeded belief. To marry someone with such a differing view should be handled long before the children are thought of! When you JOIN a church of any kind you must agree to abide by their laws and beliefs. Which should be a large enough issue to question the union of two people of differing faiths. Unless one converts with total submission to the others faith it will always be a source of conflict.

Answer 3

Yes it is legal, as they have broken no federal or state law.
But please think on this:
They ask that you baptize the children because they care for their eternal soul (this may or may not agree with your religion)
That is what they believe, hence they ask it.
BUT
After baptism in the Catholic Faith would come First Communion and then Confirmation.
Confirmation is where the person in question CONFIRMS that this is the religion they want to practice.

Nothing is absolute and unless it carries some detriment in your religion, it really harms nothing to let them be baptized. Everyone is happy, the children's souls would be safe (in Catholic opinion) and its not like the children can never explore other religions and give proper deference to your faith.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Yes, it's true. My husband is a different religion than I am. I'm Roman Catholic. They didn't make us sign anything because we were married in his church (Greek Orthodox), but we attend mass in a Catholic church. They're very similiar religions. That's one of the things that turned me off from the Catholic religion. What do they want to do? You can want them to do something, but it isn't up to you. It's up to them ultimately. Good luck with everything!

Answer 5

Roman catholic church - legal? not two things that go together unfortunately. Marrying into the RC is like marrying into the Mafia. NOt alot you can do. You could alwaus try going to the local press, your local MP/state legislative rep. Just make as much fuss as possible and maybe, just maybe someone will listen.

Answer 6

This is not a legal document. The church is full of it. Our son use to go to a christian school where they were making the parents sign stupid things too; no r-rated movies on the weekend, etc. All nonsence. They cannot legally enforce any of these things. At home is what YOU decided to do, no matter what the church says.
To keep peace, just smile and agree with them, and at home, do what YOU want to do.

Answer 7

Hello Dear =)

It is legal for them to make this a condition of offering their services, yes.....

Please know, however, that this is not something that they can enforce. Your son cannot be brought into court at a later time for failing to fulfill his promise.

Have him sign the document, for the sake of harmony, and each continue to practice their own religion.

And for that matter, having children baptized is a mostly meaningless ritual. It certainly won't prevent your grandchildren from becoming Brahmins.

It is usually best to "humour" roman catholics. For the most part, if you do so, you will find them harmless.

Namaste,

--Tom

Answer 8

I do not know if this has ever been challenged. Since there is no money involved and all the RC Church can do is excommunicate your daughter in law I am not sure on what grounds you could even fight it.

Answer 9

Think this one out....
Your not so happy with your daughter in law...
don't start at this early stage in their marriage
trying to make problems...........you will lose.
If it's a big enough stink you could lose your son.
Sit back and keep quiet, let him have his life.
If you are a Hindu and break one of the rules,
do they cut off your hand..........I think not..
Well Catholics have their little rules too, and
as with most churches it's just a formality.

Answer 10

if the girls family are connected to the church in a big way,then its probably them who "want" this because the church has hinted that it would be appropriate to do this otherwise they will have to re-assess their loyalties to the church and catholic faith,(pressurized) but it is not a legal requirement unless you sign it and agree even then who will let it go to court,this Q seems to be from a past era.and i really cannot believe the audacity of the rcchurch if it's true?