The court appointed psychologist as well as the kid's court appointed attorney are supporting my decision.I am filing for sold custody because my attorney said we start from there and then see what happens I have joint custody now with primary residence at their mom's. How do I handle a vindictive ex wife when she gets served and also how do I explain this to my kids(filing for custody)?
2006-12-24 04:00:52 · 15 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ignore her the best you can and make reports of EVERYTHING she does to you....do NOT under any circumstances agree to meet her in a non-public place (she can lie and say you hit her or something) to discuss anything...Good luck this will be hard but it will be worth it for your children!
Make sure you support your children through this..it will be hard for them also!
2006-12-24 04:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by Love always, Kortnei 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you the best, I too once have to file for sole custody and it was quite a battle, but I was able to prove that I was the better parent and could provide the better quality of life for the children. I have and have had sole custody for 6 years and my ex is still the same old "b i t c h" and will never change. "My" daughters are progressing well and will continue to do so, and even though my ex was ordered to pay child suport, I have not received a penny. Good luck, and make sure whatever you do is for the welfare of the children, and no one else. God Bless By the way depending on the age of your kids, you might not have to explain anything, my kids saw all the torment my ex caused and knew that my deceision was the best for all of us.
2006-12-24 04:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there (went through it with my husband) and when we married he had joint & primary residence was with ex and now he has sole custody and visitation with mother is at his discretion.
First accept that you will not have any control over what your ex says or does. Don't get caught up in the "fighting game" - keep contact with her to a minimum by talking only about issues that relate to your children. You will be surprised at how effective saying "I will only discuss issues that related to ???? 's welfare"
AND the most important thing is get a calendar specifically for writing down EVERYTHING that happens or is said. Something easy to keep with you at all times. When you go to court you will be able to produce a day by day account of what has happened. Also be prepared to have joint with primary residence with you first. GOOD luck
We explained a little about the judges responsibility and told my step-daughter that we were going to give the judge all of the information and let him decide.
2006-12-24 04:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When u file for sole custody, you are basically taking the kids away from their mother and I'm assuming they will have to move in with you. This is going to be a really big change for them, but if it's what is best for them it will work out in the end. Make sure you are not doing it just to get back at your ex. If you have joined custody it can work out better, less of a power struggle. Depends on your kid's ages, start them with therapy and it will give you the tools to get through this properly, do your best and never speak badly of their mom in front of them.
Good luck
2006-12-24 04:10:24 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, thats a hard one on how to eplain it to your kids. A lot of that depends on there ages, if they are old enough you need to sit them down and explain why you are doing this but, at the same time do not bad mouth there mother. If they are still pretty young then you need to tell them that they are going to live with Daddy because you love them and want whats best for them. Also, I have to ask, what do the kids think of living with you? Just most important be honest with your kids but do not bad mouth there mother. I dont care what she is saying or has said about you, do not stoop to that level, it only hurts the kids worse. You obviously have the proper backing from the guardian ad litem so, thats a plus on your side. Also, you may talk to the psychologist for a few pointers on how to approach this subject with your children, you could probably even ask that they be present to help you with questions you do not know how to properly answer. Tread softly as to not traumatize them. Good luck to you and I hope this helps.
2006-12-24 04:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Custody battles can be brutal, especially towards the children. It's of the utmost importance that the children not get caught in the middle or feel that it is their fault. Get their insight on how, what they are feeling and how this change could alter their lives. It's one thing to have joint custody and share in the parenting, but another to have sole custody and them "lose" a parent. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor.
2006-12-24 04:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wager i do not comprehend your question. useless beat frequently propose that they don't pay baby help. so for you to propose something else. You did not let us know even if you've already got custody order. i visit anticipate you do not. therefore you've have not given us something else about you or him, so I doubt you receives sole custody because it sounds like he's in contact with the baby. Going into this because of emotions will be your undoing. once you bypass to courtroom, you lose your ability and he positive factors ability. regardless of seems he receives visitation rights and then there is not something you may do about it. wager what? in case you intrude or attempt to give up him from seeing the baby, you would possibly want to lose custody.
2016-10-16 21:28:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck, I spent 6years as a single dad with vindictive ex-wife, it finally ended when she went to prison for burning my home to the ground. I would suggest moving to where she can't follow! As for the kids all anyone can do is love them, support them, and do what you know is best, right or wrong that is all you can do. Good luck!
2006-12-24 04:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by chosen37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I have joint custody now with primary residence at their mom's. How do I handle a vindictive ex wife when she gets served".
First off I'd find my own place to live.
2006-12-24 04:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You r in a hard ,hard situ. If you have the physc. on your side chances r good. You may need a protective order so the ex. cannot come around you. ask lawyer if you can do this?? Kids r Gonna be ok. The Phys. will help you to reassure them.
2006-12-24 04:09:09 · answer #10 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋