2006-12-24 03:44:24 · 10 answers · asked by neutral 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its deeper than that. You probably have feelings of unworthiness and feelings of doubt, constantly blaming yourself for what happened. Loneliness focusses on the ME and causes self-pity and rejection, despair, topped with feelings of resentment bitterness and anger towards your partner.
The answer is to realize that God loves you. He loves you more than anyone on this earth could love you. He created you for a purpose and has a place for you on this earth. He wants to prosper you, not see you hurting and damaged, but its for people who are like that, that he came. He is your partner and will take care of every one of your needs. All you have to do is tap into his kingdom and begin having a relationship with him and you will see things happening you least of all could have imagined. God knows you are lonely and it is not his plan for anyone to be lonely. First you need to work through all the things that are causing you this pain and isolation and that with his help. I promise you I know only to well how you feel. You have not come through this ordeal unscathed. You are bruised and battered and wounded and he wants to heal you of all that. In due course he will, but you need to see a Pastor or a christian counsellor or therapist to help you find who you are again and help you to stand strong again and face the giants square on. It isnt easy to forget 27 years of marriage. Its hard to put it all behind you and divorce is worse than death. The idea that ones partner is seeing someone else churns and twists and torments ones very soul. The pain is unbearable. I knew it well and I truly can sympathise with you.
Now it is time to look after yourself and to find the true you again and to stand up and become accountable again. God will hel-p you build up your confidence in yourself again and your trust in him. Override feelings and emotions, they will only cripple you. Operate in the positive. Look for the positive. Positive draws the positive. Visit friends and make new friends. Go to divorce and marriage seminars and learn from them.
A very good website to visit is the one of www.joycemeyer.org This lady knows where the rubber meets the road. She is awesome and such an incredible lady of faith, encouraging and exhorting people to step out in faith and with God to walk on forwards. Watch her videos live on your pc. They are brilliant and so uplifting and she has an amazing sense of humor too. Write down what she says.
What also helped me was to keep a journal about my prayers and their results. I really have healed up and when my ex saw me change he came right back home again and has never left again.
Please give this a shot. God really wants to heal you up. If it worked for me it will definitely work for you.
God richly bless you and may you heal quickly. Oh and when you have healed up you will do exactly what I am doing now, help another person, because you are qualified to do so. Experience is what makes us stronger and makes us grow. I call it refining time!
GOd bless you. I will pray for you.
2006-12-24 04:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can cause depression and pain and horrible feeling of being lost. This is a big change in your life, but if the marriage was bad, you must look at this as an opportunity.
You now have a second lease on life, a second chance to be independent and go out there and make yourself happy and find the right partner for you,
Good luck
2006-12-24 04:13:38 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are looking for a medical reason. Your brain runs on synapses, little electrical pulses caused by chemical reactions. Your spouse for 27 years helped the feel good ones work by filling your head with serotonin creating the feeling of euphoria. Once that stimulation is removed the serotonin levels drop and require new stimulation to bring them backup. Thus creating the feeling of loneliness and depression. The lack of chemicals in the brain means that some areas will shut down the more that shuts down the further it goes, like a downward spiral or domino affect if you will. I would suggest exercise. You will feel sluggish at first but the new stimuli will promote hormone and chemical supplies to balance and help pull you out of the downward spiral of depression. Please seek a head shrink they have a way of helping you deal with bad thoughts. After 27years you are going to need a little help finding a new way to exist.
2006-12-24 03:55:17 · answer #3 · answered by matt_barfels 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think loneliness causes damage regardless of the situation or circumstances. You can decrease the damage by learning to deal with the loneliness. Change your way of thinking--rather than think--Why am I alone? Who can I be with? THINK: What would be fun to do? and how can I enjoy this moment? Whether you are alone or with others--approach it from a stance of fun and pleasure rather than companionship
2006-12-24 03:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by Wendy G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, after 27 years of being with someone. That's normal.
2006-12-24 03:47:14 · answer #5 · answered by BarbieQ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You go through 5 stages mentally. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. It takes time you will get over it, good luck.
2006-12-24 03:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by Je t'aime 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are used to having that person around silly. Even though the marriage may have not been great, we get comfortable with routine, whether it's going to work or being married to a shrew!!
2006-12-24 03:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by wanninonni 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because u r use to being with someone. Enjoy life now!!!!
2006-12-24 03:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you shared 27yrs. together and now you feel totalle alone and lost.. thats normal.. hang in there
2006-12-24 03:55:41 · answer #9 · answered by grumpy1961@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it makes you really depressed, almost to the point of suicide
2006-12-24 03:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋