My friend Kay (who's married), is shagging my other friend Joe (who's also married with 2 kids). Kay confided in me sharing the affair & her "love" for Joe. I didn't agree with it, so told her... yet she accused me of being a bad friend because i didn't say i thought it was ok. She proceeded to call me bad for not being FLATTERED that she told me!!
Am i in the wrong? I have told her i don't agree with it, and i think it will end in disaster,but i haven't stopped socialising with her, and equally haven't been nasty.
Do i tell her husband, or Joe's wife (i'm friends with both?) The kids are getting hurt too.
Should i walk away, or keep putting up with abusive just because i didn't welcome what she told me with open arms? Am i bad? Not to mention that Kay's turned her husband against ME, when she is the one having the affair! It's increasingly frustrating when he is castigating me, when he's oblivious to it all. Kay's husband is best mates with Joe! Why should i suffer??
2006-12-24 03:41:34 · 25 answers · asked by lil_els2000 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your friend, Kay, sounds like an idiot.
I just had to say that first.
Second, you don't have to put up with any of this drama b/c it really has nothing to do with you.
BUT! If you are friends with the people that are getting cheated on, as well (i.e. Kay's husband or Joe's wife), I would DEFINITELY spill the beans.
I mean why not? Kay is acting like an immature schoolgirl. Affairs end badly majority of the time anyway. Someone always gets hurt. And this time, children are in the middle of this. Which can get ugly (i.e. divorce and child custody battles).
I would tell the other two people that are getting cheated on in a heartbeat. Who cares if your friend, Kay, gets mad?
Who needs friends like her anyway?
Merry Christmas Everyone! :)
2006-12-24 03:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by Samantha 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This puts you in a pickle. You are friends with both. I commend you for having some morals. Put yourself in Joe's wife's shoes? Would you want your friend to tell you if your husband was having an affair? Eventually Joe's wife will find out about the affair and that you know about it.
Since you already told Kay you don't approve, I would tell her (if she doesn't already know) that since you are friends with Joe's wife, Kay should either break it off or you will tell Joe's wife about the affair.
Tell Kay next time she has an affair that you don't want to know about it. She is not being a friend to you by putting you in this predicament.
2006-12-24 08:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Inquiring Mind 19 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kay is a selfish stupid lady and I would sever my ties with her as a friend. How do you know shes not bonking your husband as well? Secondly, what she is doing is so out of line and the road she has chosen is going to take her right over the waterfall like the rest of the world. You keep swimming upstream and break your friendship with her and keep out of the whole mess. Her husband will soon enough find out and when he does he cannot say you influenced her, but will understand why you broke your friendship. Kay is willfully sinning and will pay for her actions. What you sow you reap. Its just a matter of time. Get out of the way and far out of her way, and have nothing more to do with her, or she will drag you down with her.
2006-12-24 03:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No you did nothing wrong. What she is doing is morally wrong. And I guess she wants approval for what she is doing. I would not make mention to anyone what is going on. Unless someone comes to you directly and asks what is the issue, I would discuss the issue with your husband and explain to him what is going on. You need to distance yourself from this women she had a very distorted view of what being a friend and or a wife is all about. Have a blessed Christmas and a very joyous New Year! God bless****
2006-12-24 03:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't. Would you believe a friend if they told you about an affair that your spouse was tied up in? My first thought if I were you would to go and tell. Then I wouldn't be sure becuase you may not have any pals after this whole mess. But then if it washes up on shore and your friend find out that you knew and didn't say anything,,, where can that lead? You're not bad, you have a mind of your own.
2006-12-24 03:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by All I have to do is dream... 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kay is wrong for treating you the way she is and she is a terrible person without honour for cheating on her husband and for cheating with a man she knows is married.
It's quite the delema, do you tell their spouses...on one hand no because it isn't your business to meddle in their affairs.
However, knowing this makes you equally as guilty as they are.
This is a VERY dangerous path that could end with you getting sued.
Do yourself a favour, get Kay to stop having this affair!
2006-12-24 03:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's loopy and clearly that's the 1st time in her existence everybody has advised her "NO!" So, no longer in basic terms has the different guy she threw her marriage away for used her up and dumped her, yet her ex husband does not % her back the two. She concept the grass became greener on the different element, and now she looks like a miles less high priced whore, which she would desire to. i could shop all those texts and emails and flow maximum surprising to the courthouse and document for sole custody of those childrens. whilst people behave like emotionally risky, petulant babies, that's not difficulty-free to launch infants into their custody whilst the different parent is able and sane.
2016-12-11 15:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult situation. I would confide in your husband or male partner if you are uncomfortable with telling any of the other parties, and have him tell them. That way, the issue is brought out, and you are not responsible for directly telling anyone. face it, the kids WILL be affected. It can't be helped whether the affair ends before the partners find out, or somewhere down the line.
2006-12-24 03:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by Dan821 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that if this were me i would have done the same thing of telling her what i thought about what she is doing.as far as what her and her husband are now doing to you, i would not bother with them any more. i would not talk to them at all. sooner or later this will all come out. but if you tell on her she will some how wiggle out of it and your going to end up the bad guy. because she wont admit to this affair and neither will Joe. so why bother.lose them and find others to hang out with.
2006-12-24 03:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Time for u to get out of the picture, hon. All bad energy is centralizing on you. Do not get involved in intrigues. Your friend is doing a very wrong thing and is using you as a confider. Just avoid her and let things run their natural course without you in the middle.
2006-12-24 03:46:31 · answer #10 · answered by ladysorrow 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋