I've been in this realtionship for 3 years and 4 months now. We're engaged. We have a three week old son together. I feel like I want to end this relationship for vaious reasons. I'm afaid that once I break it off no one will want to ever be me because I have a son? Is this true...
2006-12-24 01:59:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't be silly...having a son will not determine if a person wants to be with you....it shouldn't matter..
I worried about that too...when I left my husband...I also have a son...that didn't stop the guys from calling me...
Don't stay in this relationship when you know clearly it's not going to work....save yourself the pain and suffering now...
2006-12-24 02:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having seen guys do this for over 2 decades, it seems men are about 50-50 on this.
Half think the woman can't pick men, f*cked an outlaw biker, had his kid as he split, and now they come along to pay all the bills and deal with the ex for the next 40 years.
The other half see it as well it didn't work out.
Depends on the age of the kid. If he is super young or much older it's usually tougher.
Hopefully you are not one of those women who thinks having a baby improves a rocky relationship. But it looks like you are, or at least used to be. Kids don't mend anything. Bet you know that *now*.
The key is to not be desperate or in a hurry to hop into the next relationship. You've got to focus on being a mother and becoming more responsible about the baby. You don't need to define who you are with a man. Especially one you choose during this stressful time.You chose the first loser, er, guy, you chose to have the baby - so stop making huge decisions for a while. A guy will come along when you aren't looking.
2006-12-24 10:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I seriously can't imagine your having a baby being a problem for anyone who is interested in you. If anything, I would think that your baby might become loved by those who love you... If you've just had the baby, though, you might want to consider the possibility that you're going through some stress and wait a few months to decide for certain about ending your relationship, according to if you were happy with your relationship before the birth. Were you? If you weren't ever happy with this person, though, I would go ahead and leave. Don't worry about someone else wanting you. If they want you, they'll put aside any concerns about sharing you with your child.
2006-12-24 10:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by faithloveseternally 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it isn't true. I thought that when I had my daughter. I met an awesome guy when she was 5 months old and we married when she was 19 months old. We are divorced now, but she still keeps in touch with him. Are you sure your feelings of wanting to leave are TRUE feelings, or could it be from hormonal changes from having the baby? I would talk to your doctor or the pediatrician first. I would hate to see you leave a relationship only to find out when your hormones are back in check that it was for nothing. Talk to the doctor before you do anything else.
2006-12-25 02:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should think long and hard before you break up with your fiancé. You have just had a baby 3 weeks ago, your hormones are all over the place and it is Xmas! Take time and think things through and what is best for your son/daughter. Don't make their life more difficult than it needs to be growing up without a father because you are going through post natal blues.
2006-12-24 10:05:24 · answer #5 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont think it matters to most men now,,the stigma is no longer there,,,do you realize just how many families have step-parents within,,,,,a lot so dont panic,,do be sure what you do is actually what you want though as new arrivals can make you a tad spongy in the head,,give it some time,,people change when a baby comes and you will want to be sure you are doing the right thing but if you know you and he are doomed to failure,,life goes on,,man or no man but if you dont get a boyfriend it wont be because of your child,,it will be because they are not good enough for your child,priorities change when you are a mother and you will spot a good man from a mile away.good luck hun.
2006-12-24 10:08:27 · answer #6 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be careful here. It might be your hormones in overdrive. It's irresponsible to go single with a 3 week old child especially if you have low personal financial net worth and cash flow.
In terms of dating, a child is a HUGE negative to a propsective mate. Many men would NEVER consider dating you.
2006-12-24 10:10:49 · answer #7 · answered by swingfromhips 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No that is not true. There are alot of men out there that will not hold it against you that you have a child already. Find a man that has been married before and has children already. In my opinion they know the ropes already.
2006-12-24 11:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl if your not happy than its time to walk away and cut you lost. I am sure there is someone out there that will accept you and your son.If your heart is not in the relationship don't continue one more day with this man. Life is to short why go through it unhappy.
Good luck and stay strong.
2006-12-24 10:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by Marina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No this is not true. In this day and age there are lots of single moms and dads. Having a child does not make you undesirable. There are fathers out there divorced or single that have children as well.
2006-12-24 10:04:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋