I have been with my husband for over 10 years, married for only 2. I thought life was wonderful with our 2 kids. I had no idea what was going on until he woke me one night to say he couldn't live with guilt. He was cheating with a young girl at work. He didn't even ask for forgiveness. I filed for divorce right away. He moved in with her. Its been less than 3 months since this came out and now he is already engaged and expecting a baby with her. Our divorce isn't even final yet. I slept with him a few times just to make him tell her about it, but that just ended up in with their engagement. My problem is that I just can't seem to get over him because he and his wife to be are in my face nearly everyday because of our kids. How can I heal like this? My heart breaks all over again each time I see him/them.
2006-12-24 01:42:13 · 19 answers · asked by HEATHER R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you slept with him, after you kicked him out- you were then the other woman!
Find someone new and move on!
2006-12-24 02:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you need is to get busy. to MOVE ON. You know, have things to do so that you don't even have time to worry about him/them. First, I would suggest you attend church. You will find a supportive environment and it would be good for you and your children to know what God has to say about our lives. If you need counseling, talk with a pastor. Second, Get this book: The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. It will give you understanding and acceptance. Third, It's not good that you see them "every" day. Are you able to move?? Either you move farther from them or tell him to stop by just once a week. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel when seeing both of them together. Ask him to give you some time. That's all. It's a request. If he can't even accept your pain, he is a real a**h*l*. Do not use the kids as an excuse. If he decided to leave you, he already chose not to be around for his kids. I know in the beginning it's hard, but time does heal wounds, even if it leaves scars. Get involved in a hobby of yours, something that makes you feel good about yourself. Above all, think about YOUR CHILDREN'S FUTURE. Do not focus on his betrayal. Just imagine he has died and you guys still need to move on with life. It's part of nature. The sooner we ACCEPT things, the sooner we will HEAL. Be strong for your kids, if you are weepy every day, it'll affect them too. Seek help and good luck.
2006-12-24 02:09:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know it pains to see someone you love walked away just like that.let me tell you this,you still have your 2 precious one,treasure it.focus on how to make your chidren and your life better each day.there's no problem without a solution!Right now they need you more than anything else.control yourself,its nt as if the world is coming to the end without him by your side.don't be selfish towards your children.I'm sure they are suffering in silence for the facts that their father is no longer staying together,thus you have to be strong.once your divorce is final and i hope you got the custody,find a new place as far as you could.at least you won't get to see him more often.if he has to see his kids,then let the meeting be between them.you don't have to see him.it would take sometimes though to heal the wound in your heart.gd luck.
2006-12-24 02:31:48 · answer #3 · answered by ~AiRaLlie~~ 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my heart broke when my husband now my ex brought this woman to my place of employment, to do a wallpaper job, i too could not get over it, seeing them together, knowing he didn't care one bit, so as soon as i divorced him i moved away, call it running away if u like, but it was the only thing that helped me. he did u a terrible wrong, and shows no remorse at all which hurts that much more, leave the area if u can, start life somewhere else. if u are having to see them daily theres no way u will get past it. can't u tell him to leave her home when he comes to see the kids. as u do not have to allow her in your home under the circumstances.
2006-12-24 03:00:55 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can see how this would be very painful for you. What you must remember each time you see the 2 of them together is that if he did it to you, chances are he is going to do it to her. She is so foolishly " in love" that this other woman does not stop and take the time to think that if he cheated on his first wife what is going to keep him from cheating on his second? Feel sorry for her, she is going to be sitting right where you are in a few years to come. You in a few years will find someone who is worthy of your love. Feel your pain, but as you see them just keep in mind, she will be where you are now and he will end up alone.
2006-12-24 01:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do not have to see him. Set up a mutual place or mutual friend/family member. Drop the kids off to them, leave, then he comes to get the kids. Get a new man in your life and start seeing what life has to offer you. He is obveously a pice of **** and you can do better than that. He's not worth your tears and heartache.
2006-12-24 04:14:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you could do at the minute would be to avoid seeing them if at all possible,,can they be picked up from ,,say your mums? somewhere like that,,,you have a right to be able to grieve for your loss and just because he has moved on doesnt mean you have to pretend you accept what has happened,,he has done you a misjustice and has handled you with unkindness,,he has been a rat basically and you do not have to rush in with,,"all is forgiven so the kids are happy"you have a right to say,,"i cant stand to look at you so i wont for now"if he wants to play happy families with someone who is more than likely frightened to death SHE is going to be left holding the baby,,dont forget you and he have 10 years under your belt and she has a few months,,and she will be worrying i assure you,,he has already cheated on her with you and this was a new and exciting relationship for him,,do you actually think he will stay with her?i wouldnt think so not from what you have said! go to your bedroom,rummage around in the back of the closet and find that huge backbone,,,,,slip it on and stick your chin out,,you have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to feel bad about and your words and actions should state that thought,,,dealing with the kids will be hard but you didnt leave them did you he did and if it is hard for you to see them playing happy families,,so be it,,he will just have to give you some time,obviously how you handle this is completely up to you but i dont see why you should have to buck up your ideas just because he wants to brush the last few months of pain under the carpet,,it doesnt work like that and he cant expect it to unless you pretend you are not hurting,,but why should you do that for him?
2006-12-24 02:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Watch the show "reba" on the channel CW. At around 4 a clock. She has the same prob! Her husband cheated on her with his intern and the intern got pregnant. Reba and her husband got a divorce but the still see each other everyday(because of kids)
2006-12-24 01:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by xoxoDewtYxoxo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry, I don't think there is an easy answer for this. I think you should find a way not to see them everyday. Maybe look into joint custody so you don't have to see him daily. I highly recommend couseling for yourself and possibly for your children if they are having a tough time. But you must take care of your heart and i know you have heared this before: Time heals all wounds. Good Luck and take care.
2006-12-24 01:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by akc6763 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just try to think about the fact he is a cheater, he cheated on you, he cheated on her with you, he will cheat on her again, he will be alone, and if you try to move on and be happy with your life, find someone else he sounds like a jerk not worth it Good Luck
2006-12-24 03:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by paula_5150 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats a very hard sitution to be in. You just have to be strong for your kids. Maybe try and make it so that someone else takes the kids to see him..so you dont have to see him yourself..at least for a while. Give your heart time to mend.
2006-12-24 01:49:00 · answer #11 · answered by oxygenO 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋