how am i supposed to cntrol my anger???

Question

i may look sweet and easy talking but wen comes to my husband im always too emotional,, the thing is tat i have depression,, and if im mad to every little things he do or said i will start to raise my voice,,, but its always due to his fault.. he never try to pull me to his arms wen im mad and wen im sad,, i felt like running away...

Answer 1

First off, anger is a natural emotion and it is ok to be angry, but YOU need to understand and be able to explain why you are angry. Anger is triggered by logic, somethings not fair or not right. Emotion can easily jump in there and start beating the anger drum, but that isn't the same. Emotions exist to trump logic. Don't let them. If you have depression, take your meds. If they don't do anything, go see a doctor and increase the dosage or try another drug. It is your responsibility to ensure that you don't over react to things, your hb doesn't control your anger...you do right?
Second, its not his fault that you get angry, your question shows that. He may do something that triggers you to get angry, but ultimately you control your anger. Communication is the single most important thing in a relationship. You expect him to hug you when your mad???? Would try to hug someone when they're mad? I wouldn't. If this is how you feel and what you want, you need to tell him. I'm willing to bet he is not a mind reader. Next time you see him talk to him. Tell him what you told us here. Don't be accusatory or blame him, just tell him how you feel, then listen to how he feels. Don't raise your voice and assure him that you are trying to make things better for HIM by telling him what you would like and listening to his desires too. Don't get mad if he asks for more bjs, that just means he's not getting them from somewhere else;)

Answer 2

Men tend to be somewhat stupid. Buy the New Year issue of Take A Break. It's in the shops now. Read the article on page 23 "Make your Man Beg" Writer Ann Sutherland says that men have a lot in common with animals and have to be trained in the same way. You have to understand how your husband thinks. The quicker you kearn about the way he thinks and reacts the sooner you'll have him taking you in your arms and you won'f be shouting. Get him to do precisely what you want him to do and give him a reward each time he manages to do it. He wont notice what you are doing ... all he'll notice is that you are not shouting. There's no need for you to be depressed or emotional .. all you have to do is remember that you are the boss.

Answer 3

Your question sounds so much like me i almost feel like ii wrote it. Its so frustrating trying to talk to someone you know so well but when things get heated they shut down . I ended up in the hospital this we thinking i was having a heart attack or stroke because of it. As hard as it is to admit, maybe its time for you to make a change in you life and take yourself out of that element . If you are at all like me ,I'm sure you hate the you feel about yourself when the two of you fight like that and I'm sure your husband lets you think it's all your fault. The truth is his IS a part of the problem but probably will never be a part of the solution. Hang in there thru the holidays, lean on your friends and try to get to a doctor or counselor for help...take care

Answer 4

First of all there is no excuse for being that angry. Save the depression excuse; there isnt' one; if you assaulted me like you say, It's a crime; it's abuse if your married; assault if your not;

In most states they don't need anyone to press charges on you; the police automatically do.

Acting like a spoiled little girl that loves drama is a good formula for a guy cheating or leaving. The diva crap is all on you. You have some serious issues and your out of control; get help before you land in jail and he dumps you like a bad habit. Boy you sound like a joy to be around.

Answer 5

i know exactly how you feel and i do the same about the emotions, but not depressed here, and the tone of my voice rises when i am passionate about what i am involved with
and i always walk away never run

Answer 6

Then run away and get a divorce. Take sometimes with yourself to reflect on what you want from life etc. Maybe there's anger management class in your town?!

Answer 7

Take a deep breath and count from 1-100...and instruct yourself to relax.

Answer 8

How about if YOU GROW UP and stop using your husband as an excuse for the way you act.

Answer 9

Your reactions are your own responsibility, no one can "make" you feel anything. This is something adults understand. Blaming someone else for how *you* mistreat them is childish and pathetic. Go throw your pity party elsewhere.

Answer 10

You need to put it in Gods hands and try to talk to him about what is upsetting you.
You can never control what anyone dose or Say's but you can control how you except it.