I really need some advice on what to say to my guy friend to help him. I have known him for six months and have got to know him really well, trouble is he's had a very bad life. He's 24 and his mum kicked him out when he was 14 and since last year he was just living rough and in hostels. He's now been in a council flat for a year but has had problems with eviction etc. Thing is he keeps saying whats the point of being alive and why are we born just to exist. I took him for a milkshake yesterday and he just kept saying that and i didn't know what to say. I cried when i got home cos i felt so bad not knowing what to say to him to give him good reasons why he's alive and was born. His family never really want to know him and he's got nothing. He won't come round my house cos he says he's embarrassed about himself, the way he looks and dresses etc he thinks people will judge him. And he won't let me go to his cos he's embarrassed of where he lives. What's the right words to say to him?
2006-12-23 23:49:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tell him that the point of him being alive is because he was meant to meet and be with you. From now on no matter what, he is a person who means a great deal to you and you want him to feel the same about you. What ever his fears are about other people you are the one true being who will never judge him or see him as less than a decent human being. Let him know that you understand what he has endured in his life and you will always accept him for his own true self.
2006-12-24 00:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be no "right" words to say. Maybe right now all he really needs is for someone to care enough to be there and listen. There is always a reason why we are here. Even if we don't know or see what effect we have on the world and the people around us. Keep encouraging him to come to your home..and not to worry so much about people judging him. They haven't lived his life and have no right to judge him! Tell him all the reasons why you are his friend and what he adds to your life. Help him find a way to move forward in his life if you can. There is always hope.
2006-12-24 08:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy lacks motivation, motivate him to forget all thats happened in his life but go out and try to achieve things, improve his financial situation.Tell him that he has the power or ability to change things but he must try and not just sit there sayin why r we born to only exist, use a few tough words, trust me , if u be that sweet consoling friend ur not helping him
2006-12-24 07:56:34 · answer #3 · answered by vio_prince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think someone like this needs some help and inspirations
its great to see you're sticking by his side.
you need to let him know you're not going to be disgusted about where he lives and he has no need to be ashamed around you because you're his friend and you care about him.
Take him out for a movie and a good time and show him there are great things to live for.
If you're religous.. try talking about that.. but be subtle and dont push it on him. make sure he knows its his choice but make sure he knows you're there for him and you will support him through everything. and let him know ALIVE IS THE ONLY WAY!! theres so much to see so much to do, he just needs to believe in it all!
2006-12-24 07:57:28 · answer #4 · answered by h-lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there's no right words to say to him. Being a good friend and listening to him and being there for him is the best thing you can do. It sounds like he's suffering from depression maybe, encourage him to seek counseling and let him know if he needs some one to talk to you'll be there for him
2006-12-24 07:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Rocky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is your friend hold his hand & tell him he can always count on you. Let him know u luv him or like him 4 the person he is & the person he can b. B honest w/ him about what he could do to help himself. Good friends r special like that.Support him in ways that he will know he can trust you.
2006-12-24 07:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he has made it this far with nothing, and if he got cleaned up just imagine how far he could go when doors start to open,
basically tell him to get a life and you would be willing to help in the first little while until he gets going on his own
2006-12-24 07:54:07 · answer #7 · answered by free2chat_tou 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM THAT HE CAN BUILD HIS OWN LIFE AND TELL HIM THAT HE CAN BE SUCCESSFUL IF HE DECIDED TO .. HIS PARENTS THINK THAT THEY DONT NEED HIM... SO HE DOESNT NEED THEM.. SOONER OR LATER THEY WILL FEEL GUILTY FOR KICKING HIM OUT...HE CAN MAKE HIS OWN FAMILY THAT WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY 4 THE REST OF HIS LIFE...AND TELL HIM THAT HE MUSTN'T FEEL ASHAMED OF HIM SELF COZ ITS NOT HIS MISTAKE THEY LEFT HIM SO THEY MUST BE ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES AND WAT THEY HAVE DONE TO THEIR OWN KID... AND TELL HIM THAT HE CAN GET A JOB SOMEWHERE AND LIVE NORMALLY... ANY WAYS PPL WHO JUDGE SOMEONE FROM THE WAY HE LOOK, ARE IDIOTS (COZ SOME PPL LOOK NICE BUT THEY ARENT AND SOME LOOK WEIRD IN SOME WAY BUT THEY AREN'T...AND ABOUT WHERE HE LIVES THAT DOZNT MATTER AT ALL COZ U R FRNDZ AND THAT'S STUPID(SRY)... WISH U LUCK :)
2006-12-24 08:46:56 · answer #8 · answered by TAMARA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems that u care abt him so much..u know he is very lucky be cared by some one and if i had to tell him some thing it wud b u..u are one reason he shud be proud of in his life.in he is really really lucky to have a friend like u....and he wont feel like what he feels now if he knows that u care abt him so much...
2006-12-24 08:05:38 · answer #9 · answered by zafran_zahir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has really been tortured. and i think he has no guts or confidence in him. being a frnd motivate him and put some self confidence in him and if still not get him to a sicatric doctor. and explain him everything and then just take ur frnd their.
2006-12-24 08:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by Smasher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋