It has been 14 months since the breakup. He is still calling my work number and leaving messages just to fill up the voicemail box. He keeps riding by my house. I'm tired of it all. He has scratched my car, ripped the door handle off the car, followed me around, shot stuff through the window of my house, destroyed my yard ornaments, bashed up all my pig figurines, and tried to make me wreck my car. I'm really tired of it all. I wiould like to finally sleep one night not wondering what he will do next. Enough is enough. He's been to jail because of stuff he has done. Please, someone tell me when he will stop? I have a protective order now that he violates daily. So much for "the system." I've been to court so many times I can't remember. All the police in the county know me now. This is ruining my life. I feel that the only option is to move far far away and not leave any forwarding information with anyone: my family, my employer, etc. I can't take it anymore!
2006-12-23 21:26:39 · 17 answers · asked by Donna F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he's been to jail and the problem continues, the answer to your question is "probably never".
You can go underground. Unless he has significant means, you probably don't even have to run very far. But, cutting all ties to stay hidden is much harder than you probably imagine. There are people that would help you do this, but this is walking away from your life we're talking about.
It might be easier to stay and fight. I know you've said there's a protective order, have you also been in contact with all the local women's shelters and domestic violence groups? You need every possible piece of support you can get your hands on. You should spend as little time as possible alone, and these groups can help you with that. I don't know what your local area resources are like, but in general, these folks have a lot of practice with psycho ex-boyfriends.
As much as I like the "kill the sucker" line of advice, don't try anything like this yourself. If it goes even slightly wrong you will almost certainly end up seriously injured or killed. He's not worth all that.
The most important thing is for you to be careful and try to take care of yourself. Fourteen months is a very long time to live under seige and that takes a toll on you physically and mentally.
2006-12-23 22:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by David G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People like him don't and won't stop. They have to BE stopped.
So, everytime he does something, take a picture or a video. Keep a written log of what, when, where and anybody nearby who can serve as a witness for you.
Let the officials (prosecutor's office, pollice department) in your town know that you are prepard to kick your case to a higher level above them (state, the feds) to get something done, to get the charges to stick, to get him behind bars--not kiddie jail for 30 days, but the "big house"
Also let them know/remind them (subtly) that if they do not do their jobs and some physical harm actually happens to you, they are going to be held liable. The police and cities have been sued before bc of this and the woman won.
Contact your local women's shelter about referral to good attorneys who will help you in court appearances. As well, they can help you make a plan to get out of town and stay out where he can't find you if that's ultimately what you decide you need to do.
Check with the District Attorney on prosecuting him. If he is of no help, contact someone in your legislator's office; ask them to see if there is a state or federal attorney general's office who would take the case and prosecute him already. Also, ask them to check on any laws, old or recent, that would apply to your case against him.
Good luck.
2006-12-24 00:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sugar, if you cant see the writing on the wall let me spell it out for you... He's not going to stop. If jail and orders is not stopping him nothing will... I think you need to move out, being alone is not a good idea for you now. Some time in the future he may decide to take it to the next level and do bodily harm to you... You shouldnt have to move away from your family, move in with them... security in numbers... if you move away he may find you... and if your in a stange place where noone knows you... id fear for my safety there more than where you are now. Take to the county attorney and see if civil charges can be brought agaisnt him. he shouldnt be allowed to keep on doing these things to you... You didnt say if your married to him, if so start the divorce that should make things easier and if not go after him... dug til you find something or someone who will help you to legally stop this scum from bothering you...call a battered womans hotline they offer help and suggestions... Be Safe and Blessed... Ill be praying for you...
2006-12-23 21:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to move far far away,. If he's violating the protective order and gone to jail and still continues his violating it, it's definately time to move far away.
You could try one last time with going to court, and demand the prosecutor pursue federal charges under the violence against women act. If he so much as violates an order under that law, he can be sent to prison for a very, very, very long time.
2006-12-23 23:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I broke up with my ex 11 years ago. At first(the first 2-3yrs) he was harassing me, calling me 24-7, trying to run me off the road, following me, spying on me,breaking in my house when I was gone, you name it he did it. I had a protective order also. It didn't help. My ex still to this day has this theory in his head that maybe someday we will get back together. He knows that he ruined our relationship, he was very abusive. He calmed down about the third year. He made sure I lost my house & car & scared off any guy who even came around me. But then I got a man who stood up to him & told him how it was, & how it was goning to be. I am still with that man. Now we are all friends, for my kids sake. So if he can't move on, maybe find someone to just stand up to him & let him know that the s*it is going to stop NOW. Good luck & take care
2006-12-23 21:37:39 · answer #5 · answered by lori 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i've got been instructed approximately 10000 circumstances that i'm no longer a real Christian (TM) because of the fact my ideals do no longer fall in with the extremist party line. I share a number of your perspectives. I carry citizenship in an earthly us of a (america). there are a number of paths to God. I take part in the two Christian and non-Christian rites. i'm no longer frightened of non-Christian impacts. I refuse to apply my faith as an excuse for bigotry and hatred. besides, congratulations for no longer attempting to shove the Divine right into a one-length-fits-all container.
2016-10-28 06:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out of there before its too late,sometimes that protective order that you have doesnt help you when a psycho is after you think about your personal safety first,get out of there right now if its posible
2006-12-23 21:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lionel M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We cant tell you when its gonna stop, we dont know your psycho ex, and apparently neither do you
I have 3 numbers that will solve your problems, quickly, if you're white anyway - 9-1-1
2006-12-23 21:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by airmcnair06 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're American just invite him onto your property with no witnesses then shoot him and say he attacked you!! If you're English tell him your seeing me, he'll soon back off when he realises you're with the big fella!
2006-12-23 22:08:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Restraining order. Sounds like you really need one. Go get it and then keep having him locked up when he contacts you.
2006-12-23 21:31:13 · answer #10 · answered by Pache 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋