We just met recently, and know each other, but not THAT well. My best friend in a "drunken" state, told him I liked him. At the time, I didn't. But now, I have develped affections for him. He says he straight, but I dont know. He seems to flirt with me when we hang out, and we talk on the phone for at LEAST an hour each time. He does and says things a straight guy wouldn't normally say or do with someone he KNOWS is gay. I seldom have crushes, and its very difficult. We talk and laugh about everthing, and I love being around him. I've considered just being his freind, and try not to think about it, but it doesnt seem to work. I dream about him every other night, and I'm let down when I wake up. I've also considered just ceasing all contact with him, but I'm not sure I want to do that. Each time we hang out, I like him more. I think he may suspect I like him, save the fact my friend already told him. I feel so stupid and childish for feeling the way I do, but I cant help it.
2006-12-23 20:14:07 · 17 answers · asked by Astrodisiac 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
it doesnt matter that youre gay, what does matter is that you are a real person with feelings. I think gay people are alright. What I think you should do is just hold off for a minute on asking him for further actions in the matter. I think you should just stick with being a mate, then when you are really ready, tell him how you feel yourself so he hears it coming from you. You never know, he might be feeling the same way, only he might be more shy and personal about his feelings. He has already been told by someone else that youre gay, and he doesnt mind, not one bit. Just be truthfull to your heart.
2006-12-23 20:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just enjoy the friendship and the occasional fantasy and let things take their natural course. If he is straight, he may well be one of the rare ones who has no problem at all with things homosexual and thus say or do things that make one wonder even though he would not actually consider dating, marrying or having sex with a guy.
In fact if he is really relaxed being your friend and he knows you are gay then he is one precious friend so I would not advise pushing things too far lest he decide to take off.
I have one friend like that and he is great to be with. While I cannot get into anythign sexual with him, we get along really well and even kid around about marrying each other. He mnakes life really good. On the other hand I have another friend who also accepts things gay but won't do or say anythgin that indicates he could totally relax and joke around and all that when it comes to things homosexual. Obviously I can be more relaxed aroudn the first of the two and although one never wants to lose a friend, if I had to give one up, it would be the one who is somewhat uptight.
Of course having a close friend who likes you and whom you like and who is also gay is by far the best. but only if they are as open about being gay as you are. It is hard to totally relax and date a guy who is hiding the fact he prefers guys to gals.
2006-12-25 06:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u cant enter his mind, or anywhere else rite now, so just see how things pan out. he may be 'in the closet' and testing the water, so to speak, or maybe he is flirting with you, cos he is confused about his sexuality and ur a safe bet.
im sure u have been in situations before when a str8 man, just by him knowing ur a gay guy, will want to be a bit mean to u, so he wont do it to some1 else incase they turn around to him and knock him out.
just hang in there, dont try anything while he is drunk and enjoy the feeling and the time u have.
who knows, maybe ur both playing a game n he may like this unsertanty, sometimes there is more than fear in the unknown.
maybe one day u will take it, and some fun stuff may happen, neways bbz, u have fun n good luck in ur future
2006-12-23 21:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never know, perhaps he feels the same way you do, and is just as scared and confused as you. Sexuality is not black and white, there is a huge grey area in between. I would take some time to seriously think about what you really want and then have a serious talk with him. Put it all out on the table; the only way anything will ever get resolved is if you discuss how you really feel, and he does the same. Good luck to you!
2006-12-23 20:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi fellow sufferer. I have a very nice straight co-worker who I have/had a crush on as well. Like with your friend he knew that I am gay and that I feel very attracted to him. He did not change after that, we went to dinner had great discussions, he definitely likes talking to / spending time with me. He also said very confusing things to me, e.g. I told him that I might going to be sent to Moscow for a while and he said he said without having been asked that he could visit me there?!?! At our Christmas party at work I purposely spend time with other people, but he kept walking up to me and said (playing jealously) "when C*(other co-worker) is here all others are suddenly air for you" ?!?!? these are things I haven't heard from straight guys before, but nevertheless I am afraid there will not be what I was hoping for. My co-worker just enjoys the attention he is getting, probably like your friend. But your friends (and my co-workers) behavior is no proof for them to be gay or bi. My advice: go a little on distance, he knows that you are interested, let him do a next step (call you). When you talk, find out if he asks questions about you --> this would mean that he is really interested in you, if he does not ask about you, he probably just enjoys having a good-listener as a friend.
2006-12-23 21:24:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
L E A V E - A W A Y - F R O M - H I M.... or any other straight guys out there.
why would you spend your precious time for a straight guy who knows u r gay and even didn't care at all bout you? You are like a frog wants to kiss the moon. Is that possible? But I understand this, cuz humans are always blind...
2006-12-23 21:43:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel stupid or childish about the way you feel at all. It sounds like he has not come out of the closet yet, because they way your explaining him is the same way I was before I decided to come out and be a lesbian. He sounds like he is in denial, just take it one step at a time... Maybe say "hey I have movie certificates and my friend blew me off, would you like to go instead" even if it is a lie. Flirt with him a little more... Also prepare yourself for a no, but also, there are a bunch of guys out there, good luck!
2006-12-30 07:18:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out what his intentions are. Most straight guys I know are total homophobes, so it appears that he may be interested. If he "seems to flirt" is he really flirting? Talking isn't flirting necesarily(unless the language is loaded), but body language sure does speak volumes about a person's affections toward you. Enter any bar in America for evidence.
Regardless, he may be sending you mixed signals. Cut to the chase before your crush develops into an obsession.
2006-12-23 20:20:44 · answer #8 · answered by theverygrouchyladybug 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to tell you HOW to go about it, but what I do know is he only knows what you tell him. If to this point it's nothing, then nothing is what he knows.
However, think twice about it. If the friendship would be at risk you lose a lover and a friend by telling him and he doesn't swing your way. My best friend's brother, and one of my cousins are gay. I occasionally do a joke flirt with either of them. I'm not remotely interested in pursuing anything with either of them. I'm having a bit of fun with it because I'm not threatened by their sexuality. Hell I don't care to be honest.
So just because he "flirts" doesn't nessicarily mean he has a door opened for you. I would move on, and keep your friendship intact.
2006-12-23 21:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude i know exactly how you feel, it sux to get crushes on straight guys, and there's nothing you can do about it cuz you can't control who you do and don't like, and when it does happen, it sux the life out of you. what i do is find someone better than the last guy and get a crush on him, but he'll turn out to be straight to. point is even if your friend is gay, he obviously doesn't want to admit it so there is no point in trying right now.
2006-12-23 22:55:26 · answer #10 · answered by RainKid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋