Can someone make me laugh?

Question

I know it's Christmas but I'm sad.I like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Answer 1

Zifara I'm sorry you are sad. I have no magic wand to make you laugh all I know is when I feel sad I try really hard not to think of the sad thing as much as possible & try to remember a happy thought
Have a Merry Christmas if you can & get out & about to cheer you up

Answer 2

Sure!

CHRISTMAS IS LIKE SANTA CLAUS

You know the Fatman is a fake and a fat, white lie, but you go along with it anyway, as you deceive the kids and make them future liars to their own kids.

The Dictionary of the Bible says that: By the 5th. Century, the Church (of Rome) had concerned itself enough to have set December 25 as the date of Jesus’ birth. This had been the date of the Festival of the Sun God Zeus and to the Christians a greater light was come, Jesus Christ, the true light of the World.

Fact is - the Sun God is Zeus, and Jesus is really Jezeus, and the Romans worshipped Zeus, and you can see Barnabas being called Zeus by the Priests of Zeus in the Acts of the Apostles 14:12-13, in the Bible. Mithra was another son of Zeus, but Je-Zeus was Zeus come down as his own son, which made him strictly a Roman God.

Sunday is also the day that was set aside for worship of the Sun God (Zeus) by the Romans.

The Winter Solstice gives us the shortest day in the year, December 22, as the birth of the new Sun, so Rome shifted it to the 25 December in order to celebrate the Feast of the Circumcision eight days later, on 1 January, in accepting Jezeus Christos as the Living God of the Sun risen from the dead.

Zeus and the Fathers of Christianity did not know there was a Southern Hemisphere that did not share the Sun God Zeus or his four seasons, or his twelve disciples or twelve months of the year with the Northern Hemisphere, and it is for this reason that Australia celebrates Christmas twice each year, with the White Christmas falling in June but is called Christmas in July since they know it is a lie.

So Christmas and Christianity were as ignorant of the nature of the Planet as was Santa Claus of the South Pole, and just as the Pope was afraid that Christopher Columbus might fall off the flat Planet in his attempt to reach India traveling westwards, so were Santa Claus and Zeus afraid to go below the Planet and into the Fires of Hell.

When Pope John Paul ii declared the Shroud of Turin a medieval fake after having it scientifically carbon-dated in 1988, he failed to point out that the Bible describes the use of two shrouds, with one for the head and another for the “body” of the 100 lbs of aloes and myrrh, the other perfect hoax.

TRY SOME HONESTY THIS YEAR.
EXPOSE THE FRAUD OF SANTA THE UNHOLY.

BRING THE TRUTH OF THE MESSIAH FROM THE QURAN TO LIGHT SO THAT MEN WHO ARE BORN BLIND MIGHT SEE THAT THE ONE TRUE GOD CAN HAVE NO SON OR NO PARTNER
.
HE IS ONE, HE ALWAYS WAS, HE IS, AND HE ALWAYS WILL BE!

PEACE ON EARTH AND GOODWILL TO ALL OF HUMANITY!

Answer 3

Thanks for the Merry C and same to you hun. Look you are obviously having a bad day or just down with the blues. Watch Comedy Central or get out of the house and grab up that Christmas spirit ( go to the malls!).

Enjoy

Answer 4

What happens when hallmark writers are having a bad day?


-"My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat. Sorry!"

-"So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay!"

- "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"

-"I'm so miserable without you. It's almost like you're here."

-"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am. That you're not here to ruin it for me."

-Looking back over the years that we've been together,I can't help but wonder..."What the hell was I thinking?"

-"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband."

-"I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you."

-"Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike!"

-"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.Now that we've broken up,I think it's time you kept your promise."

-"Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!" (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

Answer 5

I'm trying...but you are apparently not ticklish! Oh well, I tried! Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year from Loveland, Colorado...smile!

Answer 6

Me too.... I'm sad and unhappy at Christmas time mostly cause of my family things...
Merry Xmas to everyone
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanza
:)

Answer 7

It's hard to make someone laugh through text. Meh... I was going to post a joke or something, but I always get a laugh from recalling parts from "Family Guy."

Answer 8

A visiting minister at the start of the offertory prayer:
"Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..."

He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, what is butt dust?"

Church was pretty much over at that point ...

Answer 9

Martha Spudsy had been the Jelly Judge at the county fair for forty years. In fact, Aunt Martha was a Jelly Judge at the last World's Fair.

When she was admitted to the hospital for observation, she was amazed that they had a supply of jelly in the night stand next to her bed.


Each morning, she would order toast for breakfast and then use the jelly from her night stand.
When the Hospital Administrator was interviewing patients, he asked Martha, "How do you like the food here in this Hospital?"

Martha replied, “It’s pretty good, but I can't seem to get used to that Kentucky Jelly".

The Administrator responded, "Kentucky Jelly? I wasn't aware we were getting our jelly from Kentucky. I'll "check it out" and let you know."

Nurse Cracket asked, "Martha, we can't find any record of us buying jelly from Kentucky. Where did you get it?"

Aunt Martha replied, "Right here in my night stand. See, KY stands for Kentucky".

Nurse Cracket saw the label on the container; "KY Jelly"

From my book: "How to write your own Jokes", Amazon.com
.

Answer 10

awww don't be sad.......get up and go into stores and start pushing buttons in the toy section, trust me..you'll laugh....due to the look on peoples faces...
or walk by their carts & throw boxes of condoms in them while they aren't lookin.....follow some of them to the check out.......lol.......anyways....it's all good!!!!!!!!!!....MERRY CHRISTMAS & GOD BLESS