We were together 4 yrs and he had problems with infidelity, but we were in counselling and he had me convinced he was really sure our relationship meant the world to him and he would never do it again-that at 45 yrs old he was really ready to commit for good.
He wanted us to have a child, one more chance in his life to have a family (his other children grew up without him). I believed him, and agreed to try to get pregnant. It took 2 weeks.
But 2 months later I caught him trying to cheat with a woman at work. I confronted him and he said he was just not happy at home because of the problems my teenager causes. I finally left. I couldnt take it anymore.
I dont want him back, but it hurts me that he totaly avoids me, doesnt phone me, changed his number-basicly ignores me. He has assured me of financial support and thinks that all he obligated
Now hes all over the net, trying to meet women, while Im almost due with his child. Will I feel better after my baby comes
2006-12-23 19:27:22 · 13 answers · asked by paradox is interesting 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your life will get better, u did the right thing by leaving him, he is a coward with bad character, best to know now than after u married him. just a low life, he just doesn't want responsibility, doesn't like your kid, if he is offering financial help it is still more than some get. takes time to get over the hurt, that u chose to trust someone that maybe u shouldn't have, but we all make mistakes and learn by them. u will feel better when u no longer expect anything of him, what hurts is u thought he would be there for u, in your mind u created this way you wanted your life to be, and u see now it just isn't going to be this way, because he ran out on u, and changed his mind. he did u a great injustice, sounds as if he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility of a family. theres not much u can do, only know this is something within him, that isn't quite normal, that u couldn't see before. best to know this, and see the truth that he is never going to be there or help with the child. so sorry for u, get some help, maybe some spiritual therapy. when something like this happens to us, it shakes our world, makes us feel so insecure, but hang in there, and life will get better.
2006-12-24 03:58:21 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to have a baby and the baby is the most important thing here, not his infidelity or him not talking to you. Get a hold of yourself, your pregnant and your a emotional mess! Have the baby, see a lawyer, get child support and get rid of that jerk. I'm speaking to you from a mans perspective as I don't care what he does; He's know good for you and the baby other than a paycheck. Got it! Get it. You don't need a man like that, you need a man who loves you unconditionally not a guy who wants to string you along. The hurt may not go away for awhile but you'll be OK. Now, first things first! 1. Have your Baby 2. Get a Lawyer 3. Check for your baby (mandated by a court of law, Garnish wages etc. until your child is the ripe old age of 18 yrs or whatever the law allows) 4. Get on with your life. Amen!
Merry Christmas to you and good luck!
2006-12-23 19:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hurt will stop...I was in a similar situation with my sons father. At least he is offering financial support(something I have done without). This man doesnt sound like a very good role model, so it is a blessing that all he is offering is the financial support, and doesnt want to play an active role in the childs life. At least you wont have to worry about the baby looking at a womanizing adulture and thinking that it is ok. Just give yourself a little bit of time, and keep telling yourself you are better than him, and you can definately do better.
2006-12-23 19:34:11 · answer #3 · answered by onearkansasmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem totally oblivious to his desire to cheat. It's like you're well aware of his infedility , yet you dont understand his reasons at all.
1. He no longer is attracted to you.
2. He cheats because he can.
3. He doesnt like your kid, (excuse)
4. youre clueless.
5. youre clueless.
6. you're clueless.
7. and i quote " i don want him back, but it hurts me that he totally avoids me."
8. You'll have a child who will rarely meet his father and develop an unflenching hatred for him.
9. The father in 10-20 years will realize he's been wrong all these years for being so distant and unsupportive of his son.
10. This is another typical american family, congrats.
2006-12-23 19:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by elahrairah2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have totally trapped urself up with a guy who will destroy u slowly and steadily. But when the child comes he'll mean the world to u so wait 4 him and try to keep him away 4m that rascal it will do good 2 u as well as ur baby. BEST OF LUCK! and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
2006-12-23 19:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by tiya_ahuja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could feel better, you could feel worse. It all depends on your perspective.
But the pain will definitely stay for a good long time. Having someone you love betray you always hurts. And all you can do is accept the truth, deal with the pain and wait for the time to come when you can move on.
You can't MAKE the pain leave. You have to deal with it.
2006-12-23 19:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, approaching a girl is tough, and the only men that have the arrogance enough to do it are ones who do not revere them enough. I am sorry this has happened to you. I don't know what else to say. I would never, ever approach a girl, but I would also never hurt her emotionally. When I read stories like this, I'm always shocked.
2006-12-23 19:34:16 · answer #7 · answered by perfectlybaked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry you had to go through that..The pain will go away if you let it..move on..do some things to keep your mind occupied..do not reason with why he did it, that will not help..
focus on the baby.. your new baby that you will have and like it or not that is his baby too..he has to have a part of that babies life...my suggestion is talk to him about what you two are gonna do..
2006-12-23 19:34:30 · answer #8 · answered by giveu2tictacs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i feel so sorry for you, i hope that this pain will go away, i personally have never experienced something like this, try getting another partner that really cares for u (dont give up), that may make things better , it does with my ex's, if this new guy really cares for u he will except ur hardships and try and make u feel better... things are also bound to heal with time too, treat urself to something and do everything u can to get out of this miserable state.
2006-12-23 19:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by david edwards 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living well is the best revenge.
Go out and make you life and that of your children's something to envy. Focusing on that will take away the pain.
In 10-15 years, he will regret it and you won't care.
2006-12-23 19:44:59 · answer #10 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋