About 6 months ago there was a major change in my life, and now my job is my life, and my personal life took a back seat. I now have a young baby and a wife happy with her work. I hate my job, and it really has become my life. How do I get back to where I was where my life was what I focused on, not my career. I started my first "career" a few weeks after my baby was born, but since then, my job was too important, and I don't like what I do. I am still in college and I have a few weeks to change my major, should I find a new career, and if you think so, how do I find out what I'm really meant to do?
2006-12-23 16:52:53 · 5 answers · asked by Ch Clark 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
Why be in school and have a job (other than part-time) at the same time? That's just asking for trouble. Start a business or something at home and don't rely on The Man for either a job or happiness. Make your own way in life and be your own boss!
That's what I'm attempting to do.
2006-12-23 16:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by illiniangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO not stress to much over this. Things will settle as soon as yo uget used to your situations. I feel that too many things are happenning at once for you and you are the type to take one step at a time. You'll eventually settle into your job and become acostumed to it. If you got a short career, you'll be okay. I hope you didn't get a 4 year degree to leave it after a few months. If you did get a big degree find a job that will fit into your personality. There are tons of jobs out there that deal with your degree indirectly and you'll be able to find your self along with your degree in it. Good luck! It is always hard when u first start. The same thing happened to me and now I'm taking it one stepo at a time. HOW can you not be commited to your job if you spend most of the day there????????? If you got a short degree, you'll be alright because you will easily find another career to go into or a different job. Hoewwe, family is important and should be one priority step above your job.
2006-12-24 01:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by Junia Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax. You have a lot going on, so, of course, you'll be a little burned out. You are working. You have a baby and a working wife (who will expect you to share many of the baby and household chores). And you are going to school. WOW!!! That's what the feminists used to say was "Having it all" until they figured out that "Having it all" wasn't really "Having it all." In other words, you are going to be stressed out and burned out for a while. Raising a young kid is tough. Real tough. At some point, they get a little older and are more self-sufficient. But that's years away. You are in college, too. Once you graduate, that'll take a lot of stress out of your life. You can take that time and focus it on your wife, your kid, and yourself. As for now, you need to keep on plugging away. It'll get better.
One other thing. When you have a kid, the focus of your life stops being about you. Your wife re-prioritizes everything. She's focused on the baby and not you suddenly. She then suddenly realizes she needs time for herself, too, so you are basically number three. All women go through this if they are good mothers and are healthy.
I don't know how old you are, but, if you are in your early 20s or younger, you may see your peers having a lot more fun than you are having. You are supposed to be out barhopping and being with the guys, etc. With a wife and kid and job and school, forget about it. You may feel disappointed because of that. Don't be. There is wonder, more fulfilling wonder, in your relationship with your wife and kid than in adventures in barhopping. Frankly, if you have the right job, there is fulfillment in that also. Get your own fulfillment and don't worry about what others your age are doing. They don't have a wonderful wife and kid. They aren't blessed like you.
But why is your job now your life? How did this occur? Because your wife now focuses more on the baby and herself than you? Or are you working more? Or do you not know how to be involved with the baby (being a father is tough, because the mother takes charge and leaves you as a secondary parent, if you aren't careful). Identifying the problem is the first step to a solution. But remember that identifying and announcing the problem are two different things. Your wife is probably going through a little period of change herself and there are things going on in her psyche that you don't want to mess with.
Are you spending too much time at the office, because your wife is focusing her attention where she should at this point: The 6 month old child? And you don't know how to get involved? Your wife would probably be overjoyed if you became more involved, but you, as a man, can very easily allow your wife to handle the baby chores. Don't let her. Be a man. Do more things for the baby. Make it easier for her. Do things that demonstrate that you are the pillar of the household and not just some guy that lives there and sometimes babysits for your own kid. Do more work. Do more chores. Make yourself more indispensable. Get up in the middle of the night more often that your wife. Let her sleep. Sacrifice equals fulfillment. Being served does not.
I also want to say that you aren't supposed to feel perfect and wonderful all the time. No one does, so don't expect to. But life should be fulfilling. Not always immediately, but over time. That's one problem with America is our culture is into instant gratification. True fulfillment occurs over time. When you look back over your life and see a well-raised child on the road to his or her own success and happiness and a decent marriage (even one with a few rough spots) and a career for which you are proud, then you see true fulfillment.
Does that answer your question exactly? I don't know. Your job is going to take a lot of time sometimes. You will probably change it more than once in your lifetime. As a man, you get to put things in boxes in your brain a lot easier than a woman does. That's a strength and you should use it. You can do well at your work and then totally switch gears and come home and be Dad and then switch gears again and become a loving husband and so on. Women have a tougher time doing that. But don't worry about your life being more important than your job. That sounds life pop-psychology junk. Make sure you have time for your family and focus on them and sacrifice for them. That includes bringing home a paycheck and being an example of a successful working man.
2006-12-24 02:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by Erik B 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Family and people in general are always more important than job. Put others first and give more than you get. It will make you much happier.
2006-12-24 01:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by jeabwjw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your job should NEVER EVER come before your family. FInd a new career/majior and put your family first!
2006-12-24 00:58:33 · answer #5 · answered by bubbasmack 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋