This guy has been a really good friend to me for the past year or so and I can tell him anything. But for the past six months he's been in college over 6 hours away and all he wants is a relationship with me... I think he's a great guy but I won't be in a long-distance relationship... plus I just don't feel that way towards him. But he doesn't seem to take no for an answer and I hate hurting him especially after all he's done for me. But he continues to tell me how he is in love with me and I don't know what to do. ... Any ideas?
2006-12-23 16:32:30 · 13 answers · asked by So Complicated 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That's not a fun situation to be stuck in. I usually joke with my guy friend who is that way and I say I'm going to become a nun....but, one thing that does stop the flood of emotions that he lets out is...when I have boyfriend. So...find yourself a man that you DO feel that way about (easier said than done, I know).....and maybe it will hush your friend-boy up for a while.
2006-12-23 16:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Victoria F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this honey but the friendship will never be the same again. One because you aren't going to be able to tell him certain things because you are going to be worried about his feelings and how he is going to react . And remember the saying that sometimes friends make the best lovers. It is a girls dream to have a good man that want break her heart. But when they get just that they don't treat the person right. So my advise is since the relationship is not going to be the same you might as well try to see if it can work out unless he is ugly or something. You might have found your prince. But if it is completely out the question hook him up with someone that has similar taste and interest.Good luck missy :-)
2006-12-23 16:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by LA LA 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been on the other end of this kind of thing. I've loved women who didn't love me back. The only thing that helped me was to walk away from the relationship altogether.
It sounds harsh, and cold. But it's true that when a guy loves a girl who doesn't love him back, the relationship is really over. There isn't going to be a friendship. You can say "We can be friends" all you wish to. But that isn't going to happen.
You don't love him that way. It's that simple.
It's going to hurt him real bad. He isn't going to want to be
your friend.
You don't have a choice but to reject his love, and not accept it.
He needs to understand that possession is nine-tenths of the law. He is trying to be involved in your life, which is your property. Yours, and not his. He doesn't own you.
I loved a woman recently who does not love me back. I tried to get over her by tearing myself away from her. It was too painful for me even to see her. I had to accept that I wasn't going to be a part of her life.
If you don't love him that way, being his friend will only get his hopes up. You don't want that.
One day it may happen that he might find love again with someone else. That's the only remedy for that.
If he says he's willing to be just friends, don't believe it.
Not until he finds love again with some one else.
You should only be with someone that you really love.
2006-12-25 16:09:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be still, be at peace knowing that your friendship with him has been real, and that all he has done for you was out of true love, and not because he expected to be rewarded.
Let him know that you truly honor the precious gift of his presence in your life, and that you would truly have a huge void in your life, without his friendship, his persona, there is no one like him that can ever fill your life.
Because of your respect for him, and his dignity you would never miss lead him to believe that there is hope of your feeling to ever change, other than that of a true life time friend.
Let him know that you are becoming concern over his overwhelming feelings for you.
Ask him to please step back for a few weeks to truly consider your feelings, as well.
Let him know you will always want to be in his life as a true everlasting friend, provided, he accepts you only as a friend.
Let me know how it goes...
*QueenEsther*1*NightWithTheKing*
2006-12-23 17:31:15 · answer #4 · answered by *QueenEsther*1*NightWithTheKing* 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you can't get into a relationship with him because you don't wont to mess up your friendship with him and that you don't wont a long distance relationship. let him know you are glad he think that much of you that he want a relationship but you don't feel the same way about him
2006-12-23 16:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kara, i could say that i'm pleased with you (heavily). to depart an abusive relationship in the back of and initially to admit to to being in an abusive relationship takes a brilliant form of guts. maximum folk stay because of the fact they think of it gets greater effective (it would not) i be attentive to which you have noone to talk to by way of determination you made 2 years in the past. It became your decisiona and at that element you felt it became precise. all of us make blunders, i've got faith undesirable that your individuals basically deserted you like that, yet its their loss. you additionally could make new pals, and create a sparkling beginning up for your self and your baby. i be attentive to which you're feeling on my own and pregnant and desire some emotional help - this could properly be a luggage that one won't be able to hold on my own. Your mom will come around, she would not see how lots she is hurting you thru asserting I instructed you so. Like I pronounced - blunders take place. Its a blessing which you probably did no longer have a baby and stay with him because of the fact I promise you - in case you flow returned and you have the infant he won't basically mentally abuse you - yet he will do this individual same on your infant, or maybe worse hit him/her. And on suitable of looking after a newborn, you wont desire added tension on your existence or abuse. via him cheating on you - he shows you advise no longer something to him. And Im beneficial on your psychology type you will study that individuals who forbid you to apply fundamentals of communications and are insecure gain this because of the fact they have some thing to cover. They grow to be abusive and "turn the script" by way of wrongs they're doing. shop your head up and that i visit function you onto my pals record as properly - e mail me in case you have the could talk. Im 29 weeks alongside myself, and despite the fact that I actually have a brilliant relationship with my husband (I even have been there, left the bastard after 3 years and located an excellent individual, even replaced pals and had family participants themes over him) yet there is easy on the tip of the tunnel. basically shop your infant and your self as your #a million precedence ") you probably did the main remarkable element.
2016-10-28 06:40:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being WAY to forward and you need to tell him the truth. Don't just date him and get into all of that "love" stuff just because you guys were friends tell him no. Do what you want to do!
2006-12-23 16:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him and make sure he understands your feelings are entirely different from his. But at the same time, tell him you don't want to lose his friendship. Be sure not to give him mixed signals.
2006-12-23 16:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you don't feel the same way for him and that your more like a friend instead of a boyfriend.
2006-12-23 16:34:39 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Choco Lover♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eek. Well, you know, give it some time, you never know how you'll feel. But if you still can't seem to make it work, just tell him. It hurts more if you get with him and break up, so be confident. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-23 16:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by ツ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋