My ex-husband keeps sending me e-mails and leaving me voicemails about how I have damaged our 14 year old daughter. He lives in another state with her and has sole physical and legal custody.
I have asked him to send her to me if he is not able to handle her many times. He wants me to move with him to another state where he may be moving due to a new job.
Now, he says that I am "so so stupid" and "Just wait... I will never be happy." He constantly threatens me and makes me feel that everything is my fault.
He is not able to resolve his issues - career/ move and responsibility for a teenager, so he blames everything on me.
He blames me for his father's death which happened two years ago. I was not even in the same state where his father was when he died. He says that his father could not bear to see unhappiness around him so he died.
I don't know how to respond.
2006-12-23 16:29:54 · 14 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The answer is simple dear "STOP TALKING TO HIM"!!
Whenever he calls you, unless it 'really' concerns your daughter,
then hang up on him, what's so hard about that.
Don't you know he knows how to 'push your buttons' and knows
he always gets to you by upsetting you.
Thats his whole purpose dearie!!
You know good and well that you are 'NOT' to blame for all the things he accuses you of.
Sure, you may have made some mistakes (like marrying him for one) but we 'all' make mistakes.
Bottom line'-- DO NOT TALK TO HIM........PERIOD!!
2006-12-23 16:38:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all what state are you in and how did he get legal custody of her? If he is being a jerk about the up bringing you have done so far on your daughter, then he doesn't know teenagers and the many different moods and temperments they have until they reach the age of 100. lol. As for blaming you for the death of his father, I think his father might have been unhappy with him and he just couldn't handle the blame himself. Don't take his childness to heart. A lot of us have exs or mates that blame us for everything no matter where we were at the time it happened. I had an ex that blamed me for the toilet backing up in our house all the time. He sounds like a very abusive person, and you might want to consider trying to get custody of you daughter before he starts doing the same thing to her. Because I think one day in the near future he will and you might be looking at a run away one day. Either leaving to try and get back to you or just leaving period.
2006-12-23 17:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by myninny54 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are unsure as you seem to be, you could see him casually, with no strings, and I would do so for a great length of time, just so you get see how things go. Usually in the beginning of courtships, everyone is on their 'best behavior.' If you give it time so you can see how he reacts to certain situations, you should get a pretty good idea if things have changed or if he is the same person he was that caused the divorce in the first place. This goes both ways, for him to know about you too. Key point, take it slow, real slow.
2016-05-23 03:15:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him the satisfaction. He is baiting you. Don't take the bait. Delete the messages, delete the emails. You need to rid yourself of this cancer.
Tell him not to contact you ever again unless it's a situation directly related to the child. Thats it. Step up or get stepped on.
2006-12-23 16:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look sweey how u don't have to respond ok don' feed into. pray and tell god that you need help with this situation. this is not your battle its gods ok. give it to him and let him work it out. your x dont know how to take blame for things and he doesn't know how to deal with situations so its much easier to put the blame on you it's not your fault and he knows it its just easier to say it is because he's not happy with himself just ask god to work this situation out for you ok. you are probably the closest person to him so you are the one who gets hollered at he's just venting. don't take it to heart go about your business and let god handle it for you and watch what happens you will be fine trust me your daughter knows when she wants to come home take care merry christmas and good luck
2006-12-23 16:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by k2u 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try your very best to gain legal custody of your child...then let him self destruct on his own..it sounds like he's well on his way there.
Whatever you do ......pleases don't let your child be a pawn in all of this.
2006-12-23 16:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by Danny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is getting some sort of perverse satisfaction out of baiting you. Ignore him. It's hard to continue to bait someone who won't take the bait.
2006-12-24 05:58:08 · answer #7 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is projecting his feelings of failure on you. Meaning he feels like a failure, but instead of dealing with these feelings, he takes them out on you. He needs help and I would try to find a nice way to let him know this.
2006-12-23 16:39:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
none of it is your fault he is in pain and instead of dealing with it he places it on other people rather than himself. Dont listen to him, instead of talking to him talk to your daughter to ensure that you have a healthy relationship with her.
he's your ex and an *** let him go to hell
2006-12-23 16:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by demonjathan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My response would be.....NOT TO RESPOND.......What an unhappy man.......Sounds like he's the one gonna do the damage to the child....
2006-12-23 16:49:56 · answer #10 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋