My friend is a racist and i want to change him how do i?

Question

he became a racist because he had a bad experience with black people and hispanics were they hurt him because he was white

Answer 1

Tell him (in guy talk) . . . hey man, it's the person (individual) that's mean...not the culture or color. If you don't like someone, don't like them because of what that individual did to you, not all people of that culture or race . . . That's the same as not liking all women or men just because of a run of bad 'dating' or relationship experiences. Tell him, hey man, I know your more cool (smarter) than that...wake up. When he does put down a person because of color or culture, you can respond by not playing into it and saying something like, hey man, not cool, tell that to someone else, not me. He probable likes seeing, hearing your reaction...don't give him the stage to 'perform' his raciest attitude. Would you stay around if he was putting your family down? In a sense, other cultures are our extended family, don't stand for anyone unjustly putting them down for something someone else did.

Answer 2

Friends -true friends - communicate. Pick your right time and say you'd like to talk about this as it bothers you. Don't make him feel bad or unworthy or guilty or anything. Don't tell him he's wrong, don't argue and lose your temper - just be relaxed. Tell him why YOU are not a racist. It might take a while, but if you live as a non-racist and your friend sees this, maybe the gears in his brain will start churning........
All you can do is your open minded best - and if you fail, remember also, that it wouldn't be your fault. Some people can't be changed - and that. also, is their right.
Good luck!
Show him the other side - that whites often gang up on blacks and hispanics, and that many blacks and hispanics are discriminated against with regard to getting jobs and apartments. It wasnt so long ago that blacks were slaves - even police are racists sometimes and come down on blacks for nothing - beating them, etc. Remember Rodney King? Remind him of the Ku Klux Klan - how'd he like to be a black in redneck country? Human Rights are denied far more often to blacks and hispanics - his bad experience may have been the result of a general resentment towards whites, and he just happened to be white, and there. Try to have him see what it's like to walk in their shoes.
You're doing good, here, I admire you for wanting to try and for seeing how important it is.

Answer 3

First off, I'm sorry regarding your friends' bad experience with racism himself. I was raised in a home where one of my parents was also racist and it ran in that side of the family for generations. The chain was finally broken with me.

Racism is usually the result of ignorance and that is the result of poor education and a bad peer group. You can help by leading by example, displaying your own equal treatment of all the people you two encounter together. If you believe he is not defensive about it, you could also try speaking with him about it directly. Ask him lots of rhetorical questions or hypothetical questions. For example: "Would you choose a white doctor instead of a black doctor if both were equal in every other way? Why?" Help him to think about his answer.

Ironically many racists are also consider themselves patriotic and religious (i.e.: the KKK). You can appeal to these things if they are important to him by remembering that all men are created equal and that God loves everyone, not just people of a particular status or color.

Remember to be patient with him as it has probably been passed on through his family as it was with mine and many others... However if you are considering a long-term relationship with him, you may want to re-think that - it can be a long bumpy road.

Answer 4

wow that sucks! That's too bad. Not all blacks are bad, and that's the same for whites, Hispanics....and so forth.
Just tell him not to judge a whole race just because one or two of them hurt him because they were racists. Gosh wheres the love?

Answer 5

Well you see im mixed ok so u know i hate racist people and thats just wrong so tell him what ever his name tell him mann u know what u are the best friend i've got and im gonna stay your friend for all i can but not like this if u gotta hate racist people mann thats gotz to stop i can't deal with it anymore and if your family hate racist people also that you seriously need help u and your family

Answer 6

You can't really change him. He has to realize on his own that he is wrong. You could maybe subtley point out flaws in his generalizations, just drop hints. But the only thing that will really make him change is if he is forced into a situation where he has to deal with a person or people that he is prejudiced against for an extended period of time. He needs to be exposed to it to realize he's wrong about it.

Answer 7

it's hard to change someone, maybe the most difficult thing you can do. the only way he might change is through experience. your friend needs to meet and have good experiences with hispanic and black people. introduce him to some friends you have who are either. the only way you can truly change someones mind is through their experiences, since that is the way he became biased in the first place. just challenge his percepective.

good luck

Answer 8

You can't change him, so don't try. You can lead by example and try to explain that there is good and bad in both races and that if he were in a different place at that moment, it might have been some white boys beating his ***, however; he probably wont want to hear that.

It's much easier to stay pissed off and ignorant than to change your mind and admit you're wrong about something.

Answer 9

It's a fool's errand. If you really wanted to change him I supposed you'd have to find some good in that which he hates and exploit it to it's fullest. In other words take him to kind or gentle people of that specific race he hates and make him feel as though it wasn't the race that hurt him but the character's of the specific people at hand.

Answer 10

You can't - the only thing that would change him is if he were forced into a position where he had to be with someone of a different race, say for work, and spend time with them every day. Eventually they would probably become friends and the mental illness he is currently afflicted with would disappear.