I asked a question a few days ago about how when my bf does something to hurt me, and doesn't recognize what he did or admit to doing anything wrong, and never ever apologizes, I was saying how that builds and builds and although I love him very much, its driving me crazy. Some people said I need to leave the selfish bastard, but some said try to learn to let go of your anger. He is the way he is and if I want to be with him, I have to accept him the way he is.
So I thought about it and wondered if I could learn to let go of the past, present, and future pain. But, how much do you accept and "let go" of before you're a whipping post or a patsy with no spine. How do you maintain respect for yourself while "letting it go"? Meanwhile, he'll think he can walk all over me right, because I'll just let it go? Uh, that doesn't sound right. I love him and don't want to leave him, but he's an ignoramus. He does nice things sometimes, actually, but never ever admits wrongdoing.
2006-12-23 16:14:43 · 8 answers · asked by Ade 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know you only get one shot at life. Is this the way you want to live your life. Is this the life you invisioned for your self when you were a younger? If so then the only thing I can suggest is you have to learn to communicate your feelings to him. Chances are he doesn't care. If this is not the vision you have for your life then get out figure out what is your vision and go for it.
2006-12-23 16:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sammy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nikki!
I don't like suggesting to people to dump their BFs/GFs but, if you can live with this guy who never admits to wrongdoing, and he's driving you crazy with his "ways" of not apologizing to you, etc. then you won't have a very happy life! It's nice that you love him, but you are leaning towards letting him walk all over you and it's bad for your confidence and self-esteem.!
You have to choose which would "win out", your love for him, versus losing your self respect!
In the long term the guy sounds stubborn and your life would be miserable if you stick with him. You don't have to settle for a man who acts this way! Go and find someone who has a mellow personality and respects you!
You said it yourself,.......... "he is the way he is........." etc. but, can you accept him for the way he is, on a daily basis if you both got married?
You need to think this through and save your self respect and stand up to people who want to treat you this way, or else you will turn into a patsy.
I've been through this problrm before too and I was terribly unhappy, so take it from me, staying with a guy who doesn't treat you right, you're only cheating yourself out of meeting someone who can be the opposite, and who you can be happy with! Be choosy!
Merry Xmas!
2006-12-24 01:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by julesrules 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plz read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus'. It gives a lot of tips on what to do and what not to do in different situations and is written by a professional.
It will help you a lot. Dont be affected by the answers some people give here asking you to leave the person you love so much.
2006-12-24 01:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by StraightDrive 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If some people tell you to accept him the way he is, then I'd hate to see the kind of relationships they have!!
'Heck NO' you don't accept a lot of things about a persons behaviour, especially when they are often wrong but never appologize. 'What kinda CRAP is that'.
You may as well lay down on that rug and let him wipe his feet on you..
Men/ or woman, who never appologize for hurting someone are
the #1, most selfish people there are.
There is such a thing as 'justified' anger, and yours is justified..
Anger isn't wrong in itself, it's what you do with it that counts.
Even Jesus said we can be angry "but sin not", and never go to bed angry at yourself or anyone..
If your boyfriend is continually upsetting you, and making you angry then he isn't worth being with.
And people who tell you to let go of the past, again, that is not even possible. It is the past that teaches us many things, and without our past and all it's experiences, then how in the '****'
would we grow in understanding.
LET HIM GO, you'll be glad you did.
2006-12-24 01:21:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Appologies... they are for the person giving the I'm sorry more than for the person wronged. Unless the action is followed by a plan to stop doing the wrong action.
example: upon making a contract for art pieces I discovered that I could no longer complete the tasks of the contracts. I appologized even when it was discovered the reason was illness but I promised to not go into contracts or agreements in the future without my agent/family to ensure that I would not misrepresent myself again. They are better able to judge my ability to complete the contracts now rather than myself. So in effect I discovered my limitations and corrected that aspect.
One society did not have appologies as they feel that they would not do anything to be ashamed of. They did not even have the word shame.
So is he wronging you or is he simply from a different culture where his society does not have the same agreements as yours?
Do you want to educate him in your societies agreements or do you feel you can wave yours for his?
2006-12-24 00:28:26 · answer #5 · answered by nanbeloved 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This fellow is a up himself control freak you are being used as a whipping post he thinks you are weak thats why he treats you like he does get rid of him girl he will never change blokes like him are so cock sure of themselves they never listen to anything you may have to say about the situation.There are much nicer guys out there that will love and respect you not see you as a whipping post.tell him to rack off!
2006-12-24 00:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by flossypants 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u know if he thats way maybe actually go to school don't talk to him find a guy thats actually likes you and u like him figure him like check out to see if her your type than if is stick with that guy that brake up with your bf and if not help your bf out!!!
2006-12-24 00:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by Kara L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do women waste themselves on assholes like this???? Dump him and get a new one. Geez. It's not that difficult unless you want it to be.
2006-12-24 00:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by littlechrismary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋