My husband doesn't want to exchange gifts this year, but we (I) buy for the kids. Is he being too cheap or too selfish? Should I buy for myself if he doesn't want to buy me anything?? I have in the past, because I want to feel special on Christmas Day.
2006-12-23 16:10:26 · 43 answers · asked by naejplman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My wife's response to this question is----
Why do you need a gift? Are you trying to make him show his love for you? Are you trying to make him feel guilty because he didn't give you something materialistic? If having materialistic things to show love is being selfish. That's why women have Mothers Day Christmas is for kids. If I see something during the year and I want it or need it I discuss cost with my husband and if everything is OK then I go ahead and get it. Don't take discussing with husband as asking for permission because IT ISN'T, we have set limits that if cost is above we discuss it.
MY ANSWER---- My wife KNOWS I love her and I do show her in other ways all through the year.
2006-12-23 17:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by trollwzrd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's leave out the word "wrong" & just say, VERY insenstive especially because he must know how you feel about Christmas.
Yes! If I were you, I'd buy myself something, wrap it up beautifully & open it, acting like I didn't know what it was. Better yet, put an anonymous card in it, & see if you can get his attention. & don't get him anything. Enjoy Christmas with your kids--to the fullest. Don't let him spoil ANYTHING. Please please? Have a special Christmas in spite of him. You can do it!
Edit: Very diversified comments. Frankly, I can't see why some people consider Christmas just for kids. Christmas is for everyone. You didn't say if it was an issue of finances, & if that were true, I'd think he'd have mentioned it. I wonder if he gives you gifts -- ever. & please don't pay attention to the "suggestions" that he's spending it on someone else. What downers. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU FROM ME! I hope you try my idea, & are an actress enough to convince him you haven't any idea where it came from. Hmm. That could be difficult. Could you leave it at the front door?? Too bad you didn't ask earlier, you could have had it sent UPS!
2006-12-23 16:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it isn't "wrong", you do deserve to feel special on Christmas, so treat yourself! Also, you could discuss doing something special together around Christmas time, like having dinner out or arranging to spend a special day together. Sometimes just spending time together is the greatest gift that two people can give each other, and it also helps them to understand the other's wants and needs more fully.
2006-12-23 16:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by McKinde 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was a kid, my Mom took me shopping for my Dad and my Dad took me shopping for my Mom. How cool is that. Lucky luxuries. Seems wrong unless he is self sacrificing and practical for purposes of survival. Even if your broke, you each should get Something. Maybe not a Lexis but even a new cd.., new wallet, .. or even a fancy chocolate bar... As a widow, and single Mother, many years have passed in which I did not get a gift at home except for the one I gave myself. This year I even gave myself one early and am giving myself more than I have before. I'm more resigned to it. Perhaps, something is resigning in your relationship with your husband. You need to talk. Some years are better than others emotionally, spiritually, materialistically, physically, psychologically.... That's life. It's short. Live it best in matters of the heart.
2006-12-23 16:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by ambriannaone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is broke then be understanding, if he is buying for himself dont ask questions just place your ITEMS on the counter has well, if he has bought for himself then be gentle and loving and let the hubby know exactly how you feel.
When the hubby tells you when he intend to buy you something, take him at his word and go on...if he is upset with you, and you already know this then apologize but only if you DID SOMETHING... DO NOT IF YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING...
Be happy with what the children have and give your self a gift of peace and treat yourself like the queen you are and forgive the hubby and take care of you first...and enjoy the holidays
2006-12-23 16:36:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There comes a time when you don't have to buy each other gifts.
My parents never bought each other stuff. Love is priceless.
They bought gifts for the children. That's what Christmas is mainly for.... the kids.
You should feel special just to watch your kids open their presents on Christmas morning... You should think about your KIDS and not yourself so much. Don't be so selfish.
2006-12-23 16:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you agreed when your husband suggested not to exchange gifts, then you really can't complain. I believe that Christmas and all the drama that goes with it, is for kids. If you want something get it, don't wait for your husband to give it to you, but make him pay for it. That might make you feel better.
2006-12-23 16:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by krispykreme335 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not made the 'mutual' decision to not exchange gifts,
then 'yes' buy yourself something really nice because you 'are'
special. And 'yes' he is being rather selfish.
What made him decide not to give gifts to each other?
Are times finacially tough for you"
Either way, his choice should have included your input.
Now go have a nice Christmas and enjoy watching the kids open their gifts.
2006-12-23 16:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Christmas is not about exchanging presents. It's about being together as a family. You should be more excited to see your children open their presents, not worry about if you got anything or not. I don't think he is being selfish, you are the one being selfish. You should feel special, you have children to share the holidays with.
2006-12-23 16:48:13 · answer #9 · answered by smw_91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wrong no
sad yes
one should always have an inexpensive nice little gift or even a card.
a rose, or plant ..
one of the nicest gifts was a gf gave me a really nice shaver .. under $10 that I still use to this day. it was so much better than what I was doing. of course alas the gf is gone.
my impovished friend had his family carol me over the internet this year. touching. odd, but nice.
but of course, don't have the 'gift of th magi' effect .. be reasonable for you and the kids. should not cost too much .. but tonight is probably too late for that advise.
2006-12-23 16:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋