...3 kids and spent $50 on my gift. We have been together for 3 years and living together for 1 year. I understand that Christmas is for kids but after 3 years of a relationship....$50? Am I making too much out of this?
2006-12-23 15:55:06 · 32 answers · asked by Tara MD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well honey, look at it this way, he loves his kids. That should be a good sign. Yes I would be upset too, but maybe discuss it with him. Does he do this every holiday? What about your anniversary or birthday? Does he spend alot on you then? If so, maybe thats why he spends so little on you for Christmas... Just talk to him about it.
2006-12-27 10:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by countrygirl66032 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure all of us would like to know more before answering, you didn't mention if you had children, your ages? I'm sure there is more than the $50 gift involved! Being in a relationship with someone who has kids could create jealousy! If you love him, be satisfied with his $50.00 Gift! It is the thought that counts. I'm a strong believer that the magic of Christmas is seen in the eyes of the children & not by the dollar amount! Material things do not make a loving relationship!!
2006-12-26 06:49:44 · answer #2 · answered by Sue M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not making too much of this, and don't let anyone tell you different.
First of all, how do you know what he spent? It's not xmas yet, so, the fat lady aint sang yet.
Second, what if it's something really nice or really cool that only cost $50?
Don't jump the gun. BUT, if it's a crappy gift, then you have a right.
But remember, even if you have a right, Dr. Phil said, "To get good gifts you have to be a good gift getter." Act happy about whatever he bought you.
2006-12-23 16:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is your boyfriend a devoted Dad throughout the year? Is he trying to assuage his guilt for being an absent Dad?
What is his relationship with you during the rest of the year? Does he buy you things? Take you out to dinner?
What are the true economics here? Does he pay child support? Does the ex have the resources to provide for a good Christmas for the children? Is the money spent on frivolous things, or essentials? Is your boyfriend buying their love or affection?
Does he have another $500.00 to spend on you and chose not to? Or, did he ask you what you wanted and you declined to respond honestly?
If it really bothers you, let him know. If you don't like the arrangement, find another boyfriend. Friendships are fleeting. Fortunately or unfortunately, parenting is forever.
2006-12-23 16:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by Crispy_Frog 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
''NO'' and again I say 'NO'!
You are 'not' making too much of this!
From what you've said there is 'only one', logical answer.
You are 'not' as important as his kids are!
Granted, it's good when fathers buy their kids nice christmas presents, it shows they care about them.
But the picture becomes a lot less attractive when he 'over-spends' on them and manages to spend a few dollars on you,
his girlfriend.
I admit that most parents spend a lot more on their kids than they do on each other, and some parents make the decision not to buy each other anything so they can get the kids more.
But if you two have not made the decision to do this, then it seems he's made the decision for you.
Which to me is another 'red flag'.
If you two have been together for three years, (living together now) and this is how he treats you, then I would consider making
plans to find your own place. Especially if he doesn't have a
'REALLY' good reason for being such a 'cheapscape' with your gift.
I see trouble ahead, because something is really lacking here,
like' 'true love'..
2006-12-23 16:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Yes, you are being a baby! Stop comparing yourself to hi CHILDREN!! Of course they are more important than you are. You are JUST his girlrfiend and can be easily replaced even though you've been together 3 years. When you get married, and are party of his family, and have a firm committment, then you can expect better gifts. But, they still may not be as good as his children's gifts. People break up, they get divorced, but a link between children an parents is forever.
2006-12-23 15:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you are going to be the wicked step-mom and he needs to get out now before your selfishness hurts his children. What would ever make you think you are more important than his children, he's only known you for 3 yrs and you are already showing your true colors, this may be your test if you can be his wife. Jealousy over a person's children will get you out on your *** in a heartbeat. You are interfering where you do not belong, just like a mother can be compared to a bear, a father can be compared to a lion when you mess with his kids. I pray to God he never chooses you over his kids. I have been married to my 2nd husband 6yrs and "our kids"(his & mine) are grown and we have grandkids and it is always about them, we buy for ourselves all year. Boy you are the Christmas grinch, I suppose you would have prefered $50 on each kid and the rest on you, this man is to kind to his children and you need to meet a deadbeat dad that only spends on girlfreinds so when he leaves you saddled with kids they will get nothing because it belongs to the new girlfreind. Good luck, you will need it if you tell him your thoughts.
2006-12-23 16:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
YES! His kids are always going to be first in his life. He is always going to make sure they have everything they could need or want. You will always be on the back burner when it comes to his kids.
As far as the gift goes be happy he even spent that much.
2006-12-23 16:01:24 · answer #8 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it depends on the childrens ages,, for a baby, that would be excessive, for older its not,,,,, and since you have been together 3 years, they probably are not babies,,,, perhaps he wants to make up for not living with them,,,,, also a factor is if he buys them alot of extras during the year other then their birthday and Christmas,,,,,, whereas you and he would spend money together all year long,,,, if he bought you a thoughtful gift, then i wouldnt be complaining,,,, plus Valentines is just around the corner
2006-12-23 15:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by dlin333 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He probably doesn't have custody of his kids and this is his way of making it up to them. It may not be right or wrong but that is how he feels. He may giving you more stuff all throughout the year that you didn't mention? Christmas is more for children and he just wants to give them that. Grow up a little dear.
2006-12-23 16:03:06 · answer #10 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋